He wondered suddenly how it was he had recovered from his consumption. He did not know of anyone else who had done so. For what sort of miracle had he been singled out? And why? It must have been done as a reward for Adèle's goodness. Certainly there was nothing he had done in his life to deserve such a reprieve. And then he felt dizzy- and remembered exactly what the miracle had been. Except that it seemed too fantastic and too bizarre to be believed. Had it really happened?
Their arrival at the assembly rooms was greeted with avid curiosity and great enthusiasm. The assemblies were open to everyone, he and Adèle had been told, there not being enough people of the upper classes to make them worth holding. There was a certain charm, he thought, about mingling with people of all classes, about watching groups of farm laborers performing an energetic and intricate Welsh folk dance, and about hearing the Welsh and English languages mingling in the conversations about them.
Not many of those present knew the steps of the waltz. Only two other couples apart from him and Adèle took the floor when the dance was announced. Everyone else gathered about to watch the new dance, which was reputed to be somewhat scandalous. Adèle looked rather alarmed.
There had been a time, he thought as the music started, when he had waltzed as an excuse to get a female body against his own-a body that he hoped to put beneath his own on the bed at his flat after the dance was over. He could not for the moment remember when that time could have been. But now he danced the waltz as it was meant to be danced, keeping Adèle at arm's length from his body, twirling her to the steps of the dance about the perimeter of the ballroom.
There were murmurs of appreciation from the nondancers, a smattering of applause. There was the exhilation of moving to music and no thought for the moment of his weakness. And there was the beauty and grace of his partner. She soon forgot her alarm at having to waltz for the first time before an audience. She kept her eyes on his and followed his lead as if she were a part of him.
He forgot the audience. He forgot their surroundings. He forgot they were waltzing. They danced together as they made love-in perfect rhythm, in perfect harmony, a world and a universe unto themselves.
He loved her. He had always loved her-from the beginning of time, it seemed. She was part of him, more a part of him than his own heart. Closer than that. She was all that was good in him, all that was loving.
It was over too soon. He was dazed when the music stopped and he realized that he had been merely waltzing with her in the assembly rooms at Awelfa. She was flushed and bright-eyed and so beautiful that he found himself looking around jealously at all the other men present.
She is mine, he foolishly wanted to warn them all.
"John." She stepped a little closer to him as a crescendo of applause and laughter greeted their efforts and those of the other two couples. "You are tired. Sit down for a while."
"Yes, little guardian angel," he said, grinning at her. But she was quite right, of course. His energy was not yet boundless.
He spent an interesting hour sitting and talking with a group of men on a variety of topics, including the state of farming in West Wales and the dangers of the coast for navigation. There was great need for lighthouses and other warning devices in the area, it seemed. Adèle-he scarcely took his eyes off her all the time-talked and laughed with other women and danced one quadrille with a portly tenant farmer who had two left feet and no musical sense at all. Yet she smiled at him throughout the set with sweet charm.
She was at home in this sort of place with this sort of people, he thought. As was he. The thought surprised him. He had always loved the country, but he had always been restless and eager to get back to the bustle and the sophistication of town life. He felt no such eagerness now. He still felt, as he had felt a few weeks ago, that he could stay here forever. Provided Adèle was here, his whole world was here. And perhaps there would be children. Now where had he heard recently that there would indeed be children? Who had predicted something so unpredictable?
But of course he knew it himself. He knew it from his own studies of family history. He found himself frowning. How could he have studied the future? But then it was not the future he had studied. It was the past. He was from the second half of the twentieth century. How could such a momentous fact keep slipping away from him?
It was long past midnight when he and Adèle finally rode home. She curled up against him on the carriage seat when he set an arm about her shoulders, and yawned.
"Sleepy?" he asked, rubbing his cheek against her hair.
"Mm," she said. And then she sat up hastily. "But you are the one who must be tired, John."
He chuckled and brought her head back where it belonged. "Did you enjoy the evening?" he asked.
"Yes," she said. "Everyone was kind and very friendly. Mrs. Beynon was trying to teach me some Welsh. But everyone went off into peals of merriment at something I repeated after her. I dared not ask what it was I had actually said." She giggled.
He yawned.
"John," she said, spreading a hand on his chest. "It must have seemed quite pathetic in comparison with ton balls. Did you find it very-provincial?"
He understood her insecurities far better than she realized. He had taken Adèle and her constant, unconditional love so much for granted in the past. He had given her no such constancy in return.
"I have never enjoyed a ball as much as tonight's," he said, shrugging his shoulder so that he could touch her lips with his own. "Because you were there with me, Adèle. Because all evening long I could feast my eyes on you and tell myself that you were mine."
"Oh." Her lips formed the shape of the word against his. He felt the warm exhalation of her breath.
He kissed her.
Sometimes, he thought, he could almost persuade himself that he had died and gone to heaven after all-only to find her there before him, waiting for him so that she could love him for all eternity.
And so that he could love her for an equal length of time.
He was going to bathe in the ocean. It was a dreadful thing to do, because the ocean water was always cold and there were always waves and breakers to take one unawares. He was just asking to catch a chill. He was so very much better-full of new strength and vigor, slender still but no longer painfully thin. But there was no point in tempting fate.
She told him all that and more until she was afraid of sounding like a nagging wife and he grabbed her and kissed her soundly and told her that was the only treatment a scold deserved. And he laughed at her-he dared to do that-his eyes sparkling with merriment and affection.
He took three large towels with him. She went, too, but she made it perfectly clear that he was to get no fancy ideas. Why did he need three towels? He bent his head and kissed her when they were still well within sight of the house and any servants who happened to be looking after them.
"Because I did not think I would need five," he said.
Sometimes he talked such nonsense. "Thank you, sir," she said. "I should have thought of that for myself."
They were going to walk along the beach and around the headland so that they would be out of sight of prying eyes. The tide was out again and it was possible to walk past the headland.
"It is the best place to go, then," she told him. "Only I will see your foolishness."
He laughed at her again. And then he grew serious. She could feel his eyes on her. "Adèle," he said, "I am going to tell you something. A story. A true story. It is the strangest, most bizarre thing you will have ever heard and you may well have me carted off to Bedlam when you have heard it. But I have decided that you should know-that everything I know you should know too."
He was going to make a confession. He was going to tell her about all the whores and mistresses he had ever had. So that he could clear his conscience and lay the burden of knowledge on her shoulders. She did not want to hear it.
"No," he said gently, squeezing her hand. "It is not that kind of story, love. It is the explanation of how this miracle happened. I know, you see. I know the how. I do not know the why. I think you have something to do with that. Your unfailing love, your devotion, your willingness to accept uncomplainingly whatever of life was offered you. But you can be the judge of that."
He knew how the miracle had happened? Had he been taking some strange new medicine that she had not seen and knew nothing of? She looked at him with eager inquiry. "Tell me," she said.
"After the swim," he said. "We will lie quietly on the beach and I will tell you."
She hated having her curiosity piqued and not satisfied. But it was something important. He wanted the moment to be right.
Finally they reached a point on the beach at which they could not be seen either from the house or from the road. He dropped the towels and began to undress, looking out with narrowed eyes to the water. It was a hot day. Even the breeze off the ocean was warm. She watched him strip down to his long drawers. Lean. That was how he looked now. Lean and healthy and handsome.
"You like looking at me?" he asked.
Despite herself she blushed. But she looked steadily back into his eyes. "Yes," she said. "Very much."
"I like looking at you too," he said.
The look in his eyes alerted her and she took a hasty step back. "No ideas, I said," she told him, holding out one staying hand.
But he was laughing and stepped easily past her defenses. Her bonnet went first and her hairpins, then her dress, and then her slippers and stockings. She was standing on the open beach in just her shift.
"John," she said, shocked.
"Much better," he said, looking at her.
"I shall sit here and watch you," she said hastily, trying to suit action to words. "I shall wrap-"
But she had suddenly lost contact with the warm sand of the beach. He had swung her up into his arms and was grinning at her like-oh, like a foolish, immature schoolboy.
"John," she scolded as he turned and set off for the water, ' 'put me down. You are not strong enough. Oh, you will not be content until you have done yourself an injury, will you?"
His feet were splashing in water. She felt one stray drop on her bare leg. It felt like a droplet of ice.
"John." She clung more tightly. "Don't. It is like ice. This is most indecent. You talked of forfeits once. Let me pay a forfeit. What would you like? A kiss?" She was desperate for him to take her seriously, though the effect of her plea was marred somewhat, she had to admit, by the fact that she was giggling helplessly.
"I would not let you fall in the water, my love," he said when he was waist-deep and had to hold her higher. "Trust me." He grinned into her face. "Kiss me."
She did so.
"Of course," he said, "you have been right all along. I do not have nearly as much strength as I thought I had."
Concern was just beginning to register on her face and on her mind when he dropped her. He was laughing like an imbecile when she came up gasping and sputtering and coughing. She found her footing with difficulty and went straight to the attack. The first great spray of water took him full in the face. She would have laughed with glee if she had finished mastering the shock of the cold. Instead she threw herself backward on the water and swam away from him.
And then he was beside her, matching her stroke for stroke, examining the blue sky above them and the few fluffy clouds, as she was doing. She remembered his teaching her to swim when she was five years old and terrified of water. He had taught her how to put her head under and how to open her eyes-and then he had taught her all the rest. He had been nine years old-totally dependable, totally adult.
"You wretch," she said when they were standing again in water that reached almost to her shoulders. "John, that was a dreadful thing to do." But she was putting her arms up about his shoulders and leaning her body against his and lifting her face for his kiss.
"John, you wretch," she whispered again, shocked, after a minute or so when she felt his hands hoisting her shift to her waist. He lifted her in the water, parting her legs to wrap about him. He was inside her with one firm thrust.
It took very little time. The mix of buoyancy and cool water and heat at their core was delirious. It seemed that the lessons would never end. There was always something new.
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