Brei Betzold - Tribal

I looked around the group and all of them were staring at Cyn then at me, “Devi?” I asked quietly.

“We were never engaged,” she said between gritted teeth.  “Before Seth came home, Cris did ask me to marry him; he wanted to help me take care of Jaks.  I told him no and nothing was ever said about it again.  Which Cyn fucking knows.”

I was pulled into a hug by X who was glaring at Cyn.  “It was nothing,” he whispered in my ear.  “It meant nothing.  She’s just a backstabbing jealous bitch who’s trying to hurt you.”

I nodded my head slowly, but if that was the case, if it meant nothing, why didn’t he tell me?  Why would he tell me he cared about me, then keep something that everyone else knew, and someone would have eventually told me?  I would have made sure I told him something like this first so he wouldn’t be sucker punched later.

Cris walked up and I glared at him, I knew then after lying to me now this that he never looked at me as anything more than a plaything.  I turned and smiled tightly at everyone. “I’m going to head out, night ya’ll.” Then I spun on my heel and marched out of his shop.  I refused to let him know how badly he hurt me, humiliated me.

Cris

I walked up as Ash was slamming out the front door.  I wanted to chase after her and find out what the hell was wrong but first I needed to know why she was so pissed off.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Crispin,” Devi said between gritted teeth then she spun looking at Cyn.  “And that was a bitch move.  I’m done; I don’t need this stress right now.” I watched as she pushed through everyone while carrying Cait and bulldozed out the front door with Seth and Jaks chasing her.

“Uhm…someone want to clue me in?”

X glared at me then turned and glared at Cyn before he shook his head at her in disbelief.  Then he took off in the direction of Max’s station I was even more confused.

“Jules?”

“Prick,” she muttered then spun around and flounced off.

“Sam?”

“Well, you screwed up.”

“I got that, but how?”

“It might have been helpful if you’d told the girl you’re dating that at one point and time you’d asked her boss to marry you.”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.  “How?”

“Cyn told her, in a not so nice way.”

My eyes snapped open just in time to see a pissed off Cyn walk out the door.  I looked around and found X staring at Haven and sighed.  Of course she wouldn’t be pissed or upset that she’d just fucked me up the ass sideways, no it’d be because X.

“I was going to tell her.”

“Shoulda, woulda, coulda, it’s all a little too late now,” Sam said.

I nodded knowing he was right.  “How do I fix it?”

He snorted.  “I have no fucking clue.  I’ve got my own problems I can’t work out.”

I turned and nearly ran into Haven.  “Uhm, sorry,” I mumbled then headed to my office quickly.

I grabbed my cell that was sitting on my desk and dialed Ash’s number, it went straight to voicemail.  So I decided to text her instead.

CRIS: I’M SORRY YOU FOUND OUT THAT WAY I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU.

I waited for half an hour with no response.  I let my head drop to my desk; I had really fucked this up. 

Ash

I stormed into the house slamming doors behind me.  I wasn’t sure who I was more pissed at—Devi for not telling me or for Cris for the same reason; you'd think that someone would have told me.  Then again, it wasn’t exactly Devi's place to tell me that my boyfriend had once fucking asked her to marry him.  No, that was all Cris.  He should have told me, a long time ago.

I marched into the kitchen and started grabbing things; I needed to do something before I drove back to Pin's Ink and beat the crap out of Crispin.  What was that idiot thinking keeping something like that from me?  I mean how stupid did he think I was?  Then again, he let me look stupid in front of everyone, especially in front of that conniving bitch, Cin.  I wanted to punch her in the throat.  I wanted to kick Cris's ass.  I wanted to fucking scream.  Why do men feel the need to do this to me?  Did they look at me and think hey, here's an easy mark, let’s just fuck her over.

I went about banging things around the kitchen then focused on doing something, I lost myself in baking.  I always went to baking when I was upset.  It was safer than finding the person who pissed me off and beating the shit out of them.  Instead, I took it out on dough, piecrust, and cookie dough.  I don’t know how long I stayed in the kitchen baking, but soon Devi walked in and watched me like I was a caged feral animal.

"So you're baking," she stated.

"Yep."

She sighed.  "He should have told you.  I didn’t realize he hadn’t told you."

I jerked my head up and down and continued rolling out dough for cinnamon rolls.

"I'm sorry; I don’t know what to say."

"Not your fault, you didn’t propose, you didn’t knowingly keep it from me.  I've had a lot of time to think, and it’s all on Cris."

She let out a breath.  "Good, I'm glad you don’t hate me.  About Cris—"

"Don’t."

"But—"

"No, he fucked up."

She nodded.  "He did."

"He could have told me anytime over the past nine months, but did he?  No never, and it’s not the first time he’s kept shit from me.  I am done with it, if he can’t trust me to tell me simple things about his life, how can I trust him with larger issues?"

She nodded again.

"How can I trust him to tie me up and take a flogger to my skin?  How can I trust him to fuck me without a condom?  When he can’t even look at me and say hey so I once asked Devi to marry me.  She obviously said no, and it’s in the past now."

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"But no, I didn’t get anything; instead I was humiliated being told something I should have known, by her no less."

"You really don’t like Cin, do you?"

I shook my head.  "No, but I get it, she’s your cousin."

"She is."

"Cin's not even the point of this, it’s Cris.  We fought earlier that day about him lying to me, now this?  What else will I learn?  I don't want a relationship where I learn his secrets, fears, likes, everything by other people.

She nodded.  "I can understand that."

"So I'm done, finished, no more."

"Uhm, if that’s what you want.  Just a small piece of advice?"

"Sure."

"Don’t say never.  Something may happen to change your mind; I've learned along the way to never say never.  Also don't close the door until you at least hear him out, because if you do, it could be something you regret later on."

She stood up and swiped a Mayan Chocolate Cookie off the counter.  "Oh. My. God, these are amazing," she groaned after taking a bite.  I watched as she made her way around the kitchen trying out the different things I'd made in the past few hours.

"God, we're going to have to have people come over and help eat all this, or I am going to become the size of a house," she said then popped a shortbread in her mouth and moaned.

"Just not Cris."

"Yeah no Cris, not until you're ready to listen."

I snorted.  "So never?"

"What'd I say? Never say never." Then she skipped out of the room.

I sighed, and looked around the kitchen, I had gone a bit overboard with the baking, but it would all be eaten.

Cris

I stormed out of the shop in search of something.  I wasn’t sure what until I ended up at the bar.  It may not have been my most brilliant idea ever.  After I don’t remember how many shots and beers, I was seeing double.  So when two Xavier's showed up on the barstool beside me, I was a bit confused.

"So you fucked up," X said.

"That I did."

"Why didn’t you ever tell her?"

I sighed.  "I don’t know if I can explain it."

"Well try, because if you ever want to get her back you'll have to explain this shit to her."

"Fine," I grumbled.  "So Ash likes to play."

"Okay," he said looking at me confused.

"Like my kind of play."

"Oh, okay got it."

I nodded a little too vigorously nearly knocking myself off the barstool.

"So?" he asked making a continue sign with his hand.

"Oh right, so I've never been in an actual relationship with one of my subs."

"And?"

"I don’t know how to be a boyfriend and a Dom."

"It's different how?"

"Uhm, I can’t show weakness."

He laughed.  "Yeah, let that go immediately."

"I can’t, a Dom can’t show weakness to their sub.  It…it demeans our ability to take care of the sub."

"Uh huh, if you say so."

"So I tell her, hey I suck because I can’t keep my business afloat so the girl who once upon a time turned down my marriage proposal is digging my ass out of the hole.  Yeah, that invokes strength.

"Or maybe Ash is with you for more than your Dom abilities, and you confessing that, though not that way, would bring you closer together in both parts of your relationship?"

"When the fuck did you become Dr. Phil?"

"Eh, there isn’t much to do on a tour bus."

I snickered.  "I can see that, you guys sitting around drinking beer and watching Dr. Phil."

"Nah, more Sex with Dr. Drew."

"That makes sense."

"Let's get you home, lush boy," he said clapping me on the shoulder and my head slammed down into the bar.  He chuckled, "You're going to hate yourself in the morning.”

“I already hurt,” I slurred, “Ash left me.” 

Ash

“So Devi, why are you hanging out with us?  I thought Seth leaves tomorrow for his tour,” Jules asked.

“He was supposed to, but they rescheduled shit.”

“They rescheduled the tour?” I asked gaping.

She giggled.  “No, they rescheduled the meetings he had.  They’re going to L.A. to meet up with their old label before going on tour, only the meeting was rescheduled.  So now he’s here until Monday.”

I looked around the room at the amazing women that were hanging out with me on a Friday night eating baked goods and watching Pitch Perfect all for me.

“So Mags, how’s married life?” Jules asked.

She groaned.  “It’d probably be better if he wasn’t injured, but Drake’s been a whiny bitch lately and to top it off, he’s bored, so all he wants to do is have sex.”

“Hey, no sex and Drake in the same sentence!” Devi yelled throwing a pillow at Mags.  She looked over at me.  “So what now?”

“Hmm?”

“So what now?  Are you going to just sit around watch movies, eat cookies until you’re ass expands?  Or are you going to for lack of a better term get back on the horse?”

“I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Well tomorrow is Saturday.”

“Uh huh.”

“So you and Jules need to go out, go to a club, get drunk, get laid and have some fun.”

“Hey why am I being volunteered?” Jules yelled.

I looked over and pouted at Jules.  Over the past year and a half, Jules and I had become close.  I knew she had some stuff going on with her ex, but she just wasn’t willing to share what that was yet.

“Sorry Ash, that’s not what I meant.”

“Well Devi and I can’t go,” grumbled Mags. “Devi’s stuck at home all weekend with Seth.  Drake needs me here, and someone has to watch the kids.”

I sighed.  “I’m not really in the mood to go clubbing.”

“It’s actually not a bad idea, Ash,” Jules said looking over at me.

I groaned.  “Fine, which club?”

“There’s that new one that just opened up, what’s it called?”

“The only new club I’ve heard about is… Oh hell no, you’re not going there.”

“Why not?” Devi fluttered her eyelashes at me.

“Because—” I was interrupted when my cell started going off.  I looked at the screen and quickly declined the call.

“Cris again?” Jules asked.

“Yep.”

“You ever going to talk to him?” asked Devi.

“Not sure yet.”

“More reason to go out.  Come on, I’ve always wanted to go to a BDSM club,” Jules whined.

“Fine, we can go,” I pointed a finger at Jules, “but you do not leave my side.  You don’t go off with anyone at all.”

She nodded.

“So I’ve been wondering how’d you get involved with that stuff?” Mags asked around a brownie.