Trisha Ashley - Twelve Days of Christmas

I gave Liam another hastily-packed jam jar full of sweets as a reciprocal present for his father, though I’d also done one for him, so the gesture wouldn’t seem too particular — I was feeling flattered but cautious! I’d now run out of my stockpile of goodies and Liam’s were the Jelly Babies (my particular weakness) that I’d bought for myself.

‘Could I hitch a ride with you as far as the lodge?’ I asked. ‘I can get a mobile signal there and I want to phone my friend to wish her Happy Christmas. But I’ll walk back, I need the exercise.’

‘It’s going to be dark soon,’ Guy pointed out.

‘I can hardly miss my way back though, can I? And I’ll take Merlin with me for company, if that’s all right with you, Liam? I won’t be long.’

‘We’ll see to the horses while you’re out,’ Becca said, ‘won’t we, Jess?’

‘Or I can do it, Becca, if you’d like a rest?’ Jude offered.

‘No, that’s all right — you can do it in the morning and give us both a lie-in!’

‘I’ll give you the key to the lodge, if you wouldn’t mind just checking that everything is fine again?’ asked Noël.

‘Of course, and perhaps I could collect one or two things that we’ve nearly run out of from the kitchen while I’m there?’ I wasn’t quite sure what he thought might go wrong at the lodge, apart from a burst pipe or the abominable snowman taking up residence. . which he wouldn’t be doing, because he was already living here, at Old Place!

And as that thought crossed my mind, my eyes met Jude’s dark ones, disconcertingly and broodingly fixed on me again with his brow furrowed. Perhaps he thought I might ransack the lodge for family silver while there?

I had to wear my long winter coat instead of the warm hooded anorak I would have preferred: one of the penalties of putting on a dress in winter. But it was that or risk frostbite in my extremities.

Richard and Old Nan were temporarily revived by air so cold that you could feel it penetrating right into all the little branchy bits of your lungs, like extreme Mentholyptus inhalation, but they’d dozed off again by the time Liam dropped me and Merlin at the lodge.

Everything was fine and I ransacked the kitchen cupboards and filled my rucksack with more ground almonds, dried fruit and other odds and ends that I might need if the Big Freeze continued. Then I locked up carefully and walked a few yards down the side of the road, my feet scrunching on virgin snow, until the signal showed strongly on my mobile.

It took quite a while for Laura to answer, probably because the noisy family party going on in the background made it hard for her to hear her phone, but when she did, she said she was fine.

‘Stone cold sober, of course — oh, the joys of pregnancy! Just you wait.’

‘Yes — speaking of pregnancy, I unwrapped that book you gave me right in front of everyone else this morning!’

She laughed. ‘Sorry about that, but I forgot you wouldn’t be alone. Did they see it? They’ll think you’ve got a bun in your oven if they did!’

‘I hid it quickly and only Jude seemed to be looking at me at the time. He was right the other side of the room, though, so he’d need eyes like a hawk to read the title. He has been giving me some funny looks ever since but that’s nothing new: a brooding stare seems to be his natural fall-back expression.’

‘Ah yes, how is the lord and master, apart from the brooding, Heathcliff stare and deep, sexy voice?’

‘We’ve sort of come to a bit of a truce, but he’s still wary and he seemed very suspicious when I was asking Noël a few questions about Ned Martland earlier. Just because I’m tall and dark, like most of the Martlands, I think he might have started to worry that I’m a family by-blow, wanting a share of the inheritance. And come to that, I might be a family by-blow, or the daughter of one, but I don’t want to be.’

‘I take it you haven’t got far enough in the journals to find out for sure, yet?’

‘No, though it’s not exactly looking promising.’

‘Well, let me know. And I hoped Jude would turn out to be nicer than you thought and you’d get to really like each other,’ she said optimistically. ‘Is he good-looking?’

I considered this. ‘He’s dark, but not handsome like his brother Guy, because his face is too rugged and he has a square jaw that makes him look a bit grim. But he does have a very attractive smile, when he bothers to use it.’

‘He must have used it, or you wouldn’t know! And isn’t he tall as well as dark? Handsome isn’t everything!’

‘Yes, he must be a good six-foot-six tall and very broad across the shoulders, though he tapers right down to really slim hips — in fact, he’s pretty fit without his clothes on!’ I added teasingly.

‘Holly!’

‘Don’t get excited, I just ran into him on my way to hang up Jess’s stocking last night and he was only wearing pyjama bottoms.’

‘He sounds to me as if he has a lot going for him, if you can get past your first dislike. I mean, if he’s way taller than you are, that has to be good, right?’

‘But I’m not used to a man towering over me and making me feel small, so I’m finding it a bit disconcerting, to be honest. He kissed me under the mistletoe too, even though he doesn’t like me — but it was something and nothing, so I don’t know why he bothered. Men are so odd!’

‘Hmmm. .’ she said thoughtfully. ‘How about the other men?’

‘I’m getting to really like Michael Whiston, he’s such a nice man and he also likes to cook, but I’m not attracted to Guy the love-rat in the least, because apparently he bears a huge resemblance to his Uncle Ned.’

‘And also, presumably, because you know he’s a love-rat?’

‘There is that, though I do find myself quite liking him sometimes against my better judgement: he has a lot of charm. He and Jude have made up their argument, but he’s still clearly jealous of his brother, which isn’t a nice trait, and he’s been totally fickle and heartless with Coco. I’m starting to feel a bit sorry for her, actually,’ I added.

‘But I thought you loathed her at first sight?’

‘I did. But the thing is, she’s twenty-four going on five years old and has clearly been Mummy and Daddy’s little princess all her life, so she can’t seem to cope with not getting her way in everything. She bursts into tears, or sulks. Michael and Noël are the only ones who’ve been really kind to her, because they’re both very soft-hearted. But now she’s showing signs of setting her sights on Michael, so he probably wishes he hadn’t been so nice!’

‘Oh?’ she said interestedly. ‘Does he fancy you instead, then?’

I laughed. ‘No, not at all — and I’m sure Guy doesn’t either, though he tries to flirt with me. But Michael and I are getting to be good friends.’

She sighed. ‘All these men and you don’t fancy a single one of them, not even a tiny bit?’

‘Don’t forget my real admirer, George.’

‘George?’

‘The slightly-weatherbeaten blond hunk of a farmer. He sent me a present today, a beautifully carved walking stick. Apparently it’s a great honour to be given one, though I suspect from something Liam let slip while driving me down to the lodge that he also hedged his bets by giving one to Oriel Comfort at the village shop, too.’

‘Do you really fancy him, then, Holly?’

‘A bit. . he’s very attractive in his way, but I can’t see myself as a farmer’s wife. Or anyone’s wife — not again. Been there, done that, and I’m not looking to find another husband, I’m just going to go it alone, as planned.’

‘You won’t be alone if you go ahead with the AI and it works,’ she pointed out. ‘Look, why not give it six months first, Holly? Go out with a few men and —’

‘I went out with Sam, and that didn’t work.’

She sighed again. ‘Once, which is hardly giving it a chance, and you haven’t been out with anyone else, have you? If men show any interest, you back off.’

‘But not many of them do, or they’re not serious, like Guy, so you might as well give me up as a lost cause. I met my soulmate and losing him hurt too much to want to try again, even if I believed there was another Mr Right out there, which I don’t.’

‘You’re hopeless!’ she said, but affectionately. ‘The children loved their presents, by the way.’

‘So they should, when you told me exactly what they wanted!’

‘But I didn’t tell you what I wanted, and that was lovely too.’

‘Easy! I remembered when the saleswoman in Debenhams sprayed that perfume on your wrist and I thought you were never going to wash your arm again! And I adore my scarf, by the way — I’m wearing it now. Light but very warm.’

‘The family send their love and wish you were here with us.’

‘It’s probably better that I’m not, I’d only be a reminder that Alan wasn’t there.’

‘Don’t be daft, you know he’s always in our thoughts anyway, especially around this time of year. But we’ve accepted what happened and moved on with our lives, even though we miss him terribly — and since your gran died, I’m getting the feeling that you’re finally beginning to do the same.’

‘Yes, I realised I’d dealt with Alan’s death by closing the door on it, rather than properly grieving. But now I keep thinking of him and remembering the happy times we had, especially at Christmas.’

‘You were twice as brisk and bossy once you’d moved to the country and started working for Ellen, but now you sound much more like the old Holly, though with a bit of extra bite.’

‘Thanks.’

‘I expect being pitchforked into having to cope with Christmas has done you a power of good.’

‘You’re probably right, but I still feel guilty about forgetting the anniversary of Alan’s death.’

‘No, that was a very healthy sign and you shouldn’t feel guilty in the least.’

‘There’s so much to do every day at Old Place that I hardly have a minute to myself and certainly no time to brood over the past — or if I do, it’s over Gran’s past, because I’m dying to find out what happened.’

‘But if there’s loads to do, then even if the roads thaw, Jude might want you to stay on?’ she suggested.

‘Actually, I have agreed to stay and cook right over Christmas — there weren’t really a lot of alternatives. After that, we’ll see. At least there are other people now to look after the horses and sort out the generator if our electricity goes off again.’

‘That “our” sounds very proprietary!’

‘I’ve put in so much hard work on Old Place, I feel I have an interest in it,’ I said. ‘I’ve got really attached to Merlin, too — and Lady is a sweetie. She makes this blowing noise down her nose whenever she sees me, but that might be because I keep giving her chunks of carrot. Actually, I’m rather missing helping to look after her now that Becca has taken over,’ I admitted. ‘She used to shove her nose down the back of my neck when I was mucking her out and it was all velvety.’

‘What, Becca?’

‘No, you imbecile, Lady!’

By now it was quite dark and really too bitterly cold to stand there much longer. My feet seemed to have turned to ice despite having Merlin sitting on them (he’s not daft), so I said my goodbyes and headed for home.

I was just trudging back up the drive through the dark stand of trees above the lodge when a huge menacing figure suddenly stepped right out in front of me.

The adrenaline was pumping and I had my heavy, rubber-coated torch raised ready in my hand to defend myself with, by the time it occurred to me that Merlin wasn’t in the least alarmed. I upended it and clicked on the beam, following him as he bounded forward and greeted Jude, who must have been lurking at the end of the path that led to his studio.

‘Hello, you fickle old fool,’ he said, fondling Merlin’s ears, then he looked up apologetically, squinting into the light in a way that did little to aid his beauty. ‘Sorry, did I startle you? I felt like some fresh air and thought I might as well go down to the mill and maybe walk back with you. I didn’t like the idea of you wandering about alone in the dark and snow.’