K. Robinson - Twisted Ties

I knew I should just keep walking and spend the night with my hot date, the librarian. What I knew and what I wanted to do were two completely different things. I wanted to grab Emma and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. I wanted to rip off her clothes. I wanted to feel her body pressed up against mine, skin to skin. I wanted to flip her onto her stomach and take her from behind while she screamed out my name.

I shook my head, trying to push away the image of a naked Emma coming undone underneath me. Andy was no longer my friend, but I felt like I was betraying him just by thinking about Emma that way. He’d betrayed me, too, though. He had known she was mine, yet he had still taken her from me. He got to hold her and kiss her every damn day while all I had were memories.

I turned and started walking toward the library. There was nothing left to save between Emma and me. I had to let her go.

I made it all of ten feet before I turned around and started following her. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, but I guessed I would find out. She was several feet ahead of me now, and I had to hurry to catch up. I stayed back a bit, afraid that she would disappear if she saw me.

She entered one of the dorms, and I waited outside for a second before I followed her. I had to talk to her. I couldn’t let her keep thinking that I’d slept with Ally. Even if she was with Andy now, I couldn’t stand the thought of her thinking the worst of me. It would change nothing between Emma and me, and I knew that. I knew Ally would never forgive me for telling Emma the truth, but I’d deal with her later.

Emma disappeared into the stairwell just as I walked into the dorm. I followed, still staying far enough away that she wouldn’t notice. There were a few people going up the stairs between us but not enough to hide me if she turned around. She never looked behind her as she continued up to her floor. She stepped out of the stairwell and walked down a hallway. I watched her through the glass in the door separating the hallway from the stairs to see which door she went in.

Once she was inside her room, I started moving down the hallway. When I reached her door, I raised my hand to knock. I stopped just before my fist connected with it. If I was going to go through with this, it might not go the way I wanted it to. I knew she was angry with me, and she might not listen to anything that I had to say. She might kick my ass right back into the hallway—if she even let me get past the door. Realistically, she’d probably slam the door in my face as soon as she saw it was me.

I stood there with my hand raised, looking like a complete idiot. Several women were in the hallway, and they were all giving me strange looks. Of course they were because I was lurking outside of Emma’s door. I knocked on her door before I lost my nerve again or before someone decided to call security on my ass. Now, I had to go through with this.

Emma opened the door a second later. Surprise registered on her face when she saw me standing there.

“Hey,” I said lamely.

“Hey.”

She raised an eyebrow when I didn’t say anything. “Did you need something?”

“Uh, yeah. Can we talk?”

“I thought that’s what we were doing.”

“Can we talk inside your room?” I looked around at the women who were still staring at me. “It’s kind of hard to talk privately out here.”

She stepped back. “Sure, come on in.”

I walked past her and into the room. I was surprised to see that there was only one bed. I thought it was a dorm rite of passage to get stuck with a sucky roommate. The room reminded me a lot of her room back home. This one was a lot smaller, but it was still just as bare as her old one. There were no pictures, no posters, nothing. There was a bed, a desk, and a closet. That was it.

I turned back to face her. “I think we need to talk.”

“I don’t.”

I knew she wouldn’t make this easy.

“I really think we do.”

She stepped closer to me, and I took a step back. The backs of my legs hit her bed, and I went down. As soon as I landed on the mattress, she was on top of me. Her lips were on mine before I could even process what was happening. I had no idea what was going on, and I really didn’t care. She was kissing me, and that was all that mattered.

No, I needed to talk to her. No matter how much I liked what she was doing, we needed to talk before anything like that could happen.

I put my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her off of me. “Emma, we need to talk.”

“I don’t think we do.” She smiled down at me. “I can think of something else I’d rather be doing with you.”

She reached down and began pushing up my shirt. Surprised, I let go of her. She fell back down onto me and started kissing me again. I groaned as her tongue teased my lips until I opened them. As soon as I did, her tongue slipped inside to caress mine. She ran her fingers across my stomach, causing me to jump.

She smiled as she sat up and started tugging on my shirt. “Take this off.”

I sat up and pulled my shirt over my head. She grabbed the bottom of her shirt and lifted it over her head as I threw mine aside. She tossed hers down onto the floor and reached behind her to unclasp her bra. As soon as she had it free, she slipped it off and threw it somewhere behind her.

“Shit,” I groaned as I stared up at her.

I leaned up and ran my tongue across her nipple. She arched her back to give me better access. I sucked one nipple into my mouth as I started tweaking her other with my fingers. I lifted her and laid her on the bed beside me before climbing on top of her.

“I’ve missed you so much,” I whispered.

“I missed you, too. Please, Jesse, it’s been so long. I can’t wait any longer. I need you inside me.”

Emma snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Jesse. Hello?”

I blinked. After I realized that I’d just imagined that, I wanted to beat my head against the wall.

“What?” I asked.

“You said you wanted to talk, so start talking. Where did you just go?”

“Nowhere. I was just thinking.”

“Okay…why are you here?” she asked.

“To talk.”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you being an ass on purpose? Or does it just come naturally?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be an ass. I came here to talk about what’s going on between Ally and me.”

Her eyes grew hard. “I really don’t need to know the details. I took sex education. I know how babies are made.”

“It’s not what you think—” I started.

But she held up her hand. “Look, we’re not together anymore. You don’t owe me an explanation. You can stick your you-know-what wherever you please. It’s not my concern anymore, and it hasn’t been for a long time.”

“So, I guess I should feel the same about Andy and you.”

Her eyes widened. I’d struck a nerve.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I got the gist of it. I have to admit, I never saw that one coming.” I knew I should shut up, but I couldn’t seem to get the message to my mouth. “At least you waited until I left to fuck him. I appreciate that.”

“Shut up, Jesse.”

“Why? It’s okay for you to fuck Andy, but you can’t talk about it? Come on, I thought we were having a nice conversation.”

“Fuck you!”

“You already did,” I shot back.

I instantly regretted my words as tears filled her eyes. I was the biggest asshole alive.

“I knew she’d tell you,” she whispered. “She would do anything to make you hate me. It was an accident. We never meant to have—”

“She didn’t tell me,” I cut her off. I didn’t need to know how it had happened. “She just confirmed what I suspected after I saw you two together the first time.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Emma, I’m not stupid. I knew you were together as soon as he hit me. It wasn’t that hard to figure out. How did you two end up together anyway? I have to admit I’m curious about that part. Did you guys do it just to get back at me after I left, and then you both realized that you actually liked each other? Or did you already know something was there before I even left? At least I know you well enough to know that you’d never cheat on me while we were together.”

I couldn’t understand why I kept saying every hurtful thing that I could think of. I knew I was hurting her, but I couldn’t seem to stop. I’d come here to make her feel better, and I’d done the exact opposite.

“What about you? Don’t tell me that the first time you slept with Ally, you got her pregnant. You know what they say—practice makes perfect.”

“I didn’t—” I stopped myself.

I’d already screwed up my chances of keeping Emma from hating me. After what I’d just said to her about Andy, nothing I told her would make her hate me any less. I wouldn’t give away Ally’s secret. I couldn’t. If I hadn’t fucked up royally five minutes ago, I might have. But now, there was nothing left to save here. I’d destroyed it all.

“I should go.”

“I think that is the best thing you’ve said since you walked in here,” Emma said as she stomped to the door and threw it open.

I walked by without looking at her. I had just ruined any chance of us even being friends.

“Jesse?”

I turned to look at her. “Yeah?”

“Stay the fuck away from me.”

I slammed the door in his face. There was a whole five seconds where I felt empowered before I slowly slid down the door and curled up on the floor. Tears ran down my cheeks as I thought about everything he’d just said to me.

He’d used every single thing he could think of to degrade me and make me feel like trash. He’d even used my friendship with Andy against me. Jesse thought Andy and I were together. I had no idea how Jesse had come to that conclusion, but if I had to guess, I would bet that Ally had something to do with it. He’d said she’d only confirmed what he’d guessed, so that meant that they’d talked about Andy and me being together. She’d probably told him that Andy and I had slept together, so he would think the worst of me. I’d tried to explain to Jesse that Andy and I weren’t together, but Jesse had refused to give me the chance. It was obvious that he had already made up his mind about Andy and me.

I knew I’d screwed up with Andy after Jesse left, but I couldn’t believe Jesse would think that I’d end up with his best friend.

Doesn’t Jesse realize that every time I look at Andy, I think of him?

Lucy and I had started to grow apart long before I left, and Andy had stepped in and filled her place without either of us realizing what was happening. He was like family to me despite what had happened, and I could never think of him that way. He’d never stopped his man-whore ways either, so I knew there was no chance that he felt that way about me either.

“You smell so good,” I panted.

“You taste good,” he muttered before running his tongue across my skin.

Goose bumps erupted across my skin as he continued to kiss and lick his way across my skin. He raised me up long enough to pull my shirt over my head before pushing me back down onto the couch. His hands skimmed across my stomach, causing my muscles to jump. His kisses felt like fire as he kissed between my breasts and down my stomach. I wiggled my hips, trying to feel his thickness against me.

He held my hips down as he kissed back up my body. His arms pushed underneath me, and he undid the clasp on my bra. A voice in the back of my head was screaming at me, telling me that this was a bad idea, but I pushed it away. I just wanted to feel his hands on me. I needed to feel wanted.

“We need to go to my room in case anyone comes home,” he whispered in my ear as my bra fell away.

He stood and picked me up. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he carried me to his room. I ran my tongue along his jaw before sucking on his neck. If it bothered him, he didn’t complain.

He dropped me down onto his mattress and climbed back on top of me. He pulled his shirt off and threw it down beside the bed. I reached up and ran my hands across his chest. I leaned forward and kissed a trail across his chest. He shuddered as he pushed me back down and started kissing me again. He sat up and reached for my shorts. I lifted my hips, allowing him to slip them along with my underwear off. His shorts and his boxers came off next.