Raising my hand, the sun glinted off the buckle as the belt came down fast. The first slap of leather made my vision sputter and fade. The headache morphed into a mind-splitting migraine—my last defence against the beast inside.

Headaches were the bane of my life—but also my salvation.

Stop!

My eyes focused on the red lash across Tess’s ass—there was no chance of stopping.

I was too far gone.

Another strike and my cock jerked with delirium. This was what was missing in my life. This deliciousness. This supremacy. I’d never hit so hard. Only two strikes and already blood blisters formed.

Tess’s fingernails dug into my calf, but she didn’t make a sound. Her entire body locked into place, feeling like she’d transformed into a diamond rather than blood and bone.

I hit her again.

This time across the top of her ass. My mouth filled with eagerness to lick at the tiny crimson droplet welling from the strike. Her white skin turned into a criss-cross of pink and red.

With a fingertip, I rubbed the blood across her flesh in a smear of rust.

Tess whimpered.

Her whimper did two things to me—shattered my black-riddled heart and hurtled me faster into hell.

My headache latched onto my nervous system making me hot and jittery and sick. I wanted to throw up.

Stop!

The monster had grown from whisperer to commander. I had no way of halting. Hitting her wasn’t enough. I needed to mark her everywhere. Her ass had been claimed. It was time for other places.

Tossing the belt away, I pushed her off my legs onto the carpet. She landed on all fours, her breathing ragged, face mottled with emotion. She refused to meet my eyes. Her lips were parted, panting hard, matching my out of breath breathing.

Stalking to the side table where a red candle rested, I scooped up the lighter beside it and lit the wick. The flame burned bright, hurting the backs of my eyes.

Carrying my prize back to the chaise, Tess’s gaze locked onto the flickering fire. Tears gushed down her cheeks, tracking over her white skin in a river of grief.

I wanted sympathy, horror—some emotion that reminded me of my humanness. But I’d lost it the moment Tess gave me permission to cave. Nothing else mattered than doing what I wanted. And I wanted to burn her.

Grabbing her wrist, I plucked her upright, dragging her to the small table at the back of the couch.

“Q—please…don’t.”

I laughed, placing the candle on the edge of the wood. Picking her up, I laid her onto the piece of furniture. She winced as her flayed ass stuck to the varnish.

Pressing her sternum until she lay flat, I said, “You had the choice to say no.” Taking the candle, I smiled at the small puddle of melted wax. “You no longer have that choice.”

Holding her down with one hand, I poured a little of the wax directly onto the swell of her right breast.

She screamed, her fists clenching at the onslaught of heat. The liquid quickly hardened to solid. The slash of red looked like blood.

My cock fucking begged to climb inside her. I needed to come. Hard. I needed to sink down as far as I could until she knew just who owned her.

Stop!

My cock fucking wept. It was the monster. That piece of meat was the driving force of this whole nightmare.

Tipping the candle again, I let it splash over her left breast, licking my lips at her gasp of pain, the flash of terror in her eyes.

“God, I’m hard. So fucking hard hurting you.”

Tess turned her face away, tears flowing in a steady, uninterrupted stream. I leaned over her, licking at the delicious salt. I poured another dollop of wax right between her breasts, a large seal of blood-red fire.

Tess bit her lip, moaning in agony. “Enough! Please enough.”

What the hell was that? “Nice try, Tess. I know you’re loving this, too. I’m used to your games. Your begs won’t stop me. You gave me this power! I’ll stop when I’m good and fucking ready.”

Tess cried loudly as I tipped another spritz of wax over a nipple.

Her tears looked genuine but I knew my little minx. I knew she wanted this, just like me. She wouldn’t have agreed if she didn’t.

The instant the wax hardened, I latched my mouth around the greasy residue, biting it off. My cock lurched at the glowing burn mark left behind.

Not only did the wax look like blood but it branded her, too.

The pits of hell opened its gates at the morbid pleasure thrilling through me. Blowing out the candle, I put it down. With eager fingers, I picked at the hardened wax. Tess moaned as I peeled it from her irritated skin.

Depositing the pieces taken from her, I savoured the revealing of her burned flesh. Waves of blooming heat that I’d put there. Me. Her master.

The last piece, I dangled over Tess’s mouth. “Open.”

Her face blanched, her cheeks glistening with moisture. “You can’t be serious.”

Fuck, she was incredible. Her acting impeccable.

“Deadly. Eat it and I’ll let you up.”

Tess shook her head.

With cruel fingers, I twisted the nipple I’d burned. Her mouth opened in a silent scream. Placing the small piece of wax on her tongue, I glowered as she screwed up her face.

Raising an eyebrow, I let her make the decision of more punishment for disobeying or the end of torture by obeying.

It took a never-ending second before she grimaced and swallowed.

“Good girl.” In a fast move, I pulled her upright, before pushing her down onto all fours on the carpet. She sniffed, a small sob escaping her wracking body.

Can’t you see you’re fucking ruining her?

The sane thought came from nowhere, bringing the power of a migraine, shoving ice-picks into my temples.

Oh, fuck, what am I doing?

Pain compounded on pain. I cried out, clutching my head against the agony in my skull. I fell forward, collapsing onto one knee.

Tess tried to crawl away, the curtain of curls hiding her face but not the red punishment on her ass.

 “Where are you going?” Grabbing her ankle, I pulled her backward. “I haven’t fucking finished.” Her legs splayed; my mouth watered at the sight of her pussy.

I wanted to taste. I wanted to fuck.

Don’t do this!

Climbing over her, I pushed her onto her stomach. Locking a leg around hers, I kept her thighs completely open. Exposed.

My fingers slid up her thigh, aching to touch her.

The monster licked his lips at the thought of finally having satisfaction. Of finally taking her like I’d always wanted—rough, against her will—ruthless.

Every inch I travelled, she didn’t say a word. Not a peep or sound as she buried her face in the carpet.

The migraine made my mouth go dry; the sun became my worst fucking enemy. Too bright; digging into my eyes, ruining me further.

This is wrong!

I’m past caring.

It felt so good to finally let go. To drop my barriers. Tess wanted it. She’d encouraged me.

I couldn’t wait any longer. My fingers latched around my cock, guiding it to her pussy.

“I’m going to take you. I’m going to come so deep inside you.”

I thrust against her, wanting to lodge myself inside with one impale.

She cried out, her back bowing with agony.

I rocked forward, unable to understand why I couldn’t enter her. Come on! I needed to be inside.

Reaching between us, my forefinger stroked her clit, dropping to where the head of my cock pressed against her folds.

My world screeched to a fucking halt.

What—?  

The beast froze, giving me one clear, untainted moment.

She wasn’t wet.

Not at all.

Fuck. This can’t…no…

A surge of agony hit me like a baseball bat. My migraine shoved the monster back into its cage. Beating it with hatred, yelling, cursing, threatening to murder everything awful inside.

What have I done?

I scrambled backward, dry-retching with horror. “No. No. Fuck, no.”

Tess was the driest I’d ever felt. She isn’t wet. Everything I’d let my foggy fucked-up brain conclude had been a lie. She was drier than the Sahara.

Low moans sounded as Tess panted hard. She hadn’t moved, lying unprotestingly and ready—ready for me to fucking rape her.

My heart broke into a bazillion fractured fragments. My ears filled with screeching from the horror in my soul. “What have I done?”

Fuck.

Fucking fuck!

I could barely function. My body crashed from its high of sadist animalistic needs, leaving a junky who’d never be fixed.

“Tess—oh, my God.”

Blinking away the pain of my headache, I gathered her freezing body off the floor. Rocking back, I sat and leaned against the table leg, cocooning her on my lap.

Her body wracked with shivers, shuddering with every ragged breath.

Shit. What have I done? What have I done!

Silence echoed horribly loud. A minute ticked past. Then another. I didn’t know what to say. I had no clue how to fix the atrocity of what I’d committed.

I wanted to carve out my sick, sick brain and beg for forgiveness. But this—this was unforgivable.

Then Tess hiccupped, turning her face into my chest. Her trembling arms slowly wrapped around my neck, spreading the slickness of her tears. They turned from seeping to raging, soaking into my worthless flesh, staining my soul forever.

My fractured heart oozed with corruption and terror. Everything she’d said was a lie. She’d made me hurt her against her consent.

I’d spun the worst kind of lies by listening to the darkness inside me.

I howled silently, slamming the cage into place, locking it forever. Never again would I let myself be swayed. Never again would I believe what Tess said.

Lies had the power to tear apart a relationship—it also had the power to kill.

How much further would I have gone?

I never wanted to know the answer.

My eyes smarted with rage—rage so hot and torrid I wanted to kill myself for being so fucked up. Then the rage dissolved under the colossal weight of guilt—rock after rock—burying me alive.

“Why?” I whispered. “Why did you let me do it?” My arms banded tighter, completely terrified she’d walk out the door.

How could she ever stand to look at me again? Nothing could fix what I’d done. No apology or heartfelt note could ever excuse almost raping the woman I would die for.

I couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t breathe with the enormity of what I’d become.

Burying my face in her hair, I gave myself over to despair. “Tess, je suis tellement désolé.” I'm so unbelievably sorry.

She hunched in on herself, but her arms wrapped tighter around my neck. My migraine pressed me further into the depths of hell. I suffocated on her hair. I’d never be able to look into her eyes again.

I was scum. Fucking awful terrible scum.

“Why? Why, Tess?” How could you let me do this—after everything?

She sniffed, raising her head. I gripped her harder, forcing her to stay, shaking until my teeth clacked together.

Pushing me a little, she sat upright, snuggling closer in my arms. “Because I love you, and I didn’t want to let you down.”

I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it.

I squeezed my eyes, unable to look at her. I was the worst kind of villain. Once a devil always a devil. I’d finally shown my true form. I’d shown Tess just how heinous I truly was. I’d lost my soul.

 “Let me down? Fuck, Tess, you’ve just destroyed me. You let me do that against your will.”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t against my will. I let it happen. I gave myself to you because I love you.”

A cavernous hole opened in my chest, sucking me down and down. I didn’t deserve her love. I deserved nothing. Nothing.

 “You can’t love me. Not now.”

Her face shone with tears but the strength I’d needed so badly shone in her gaze. “Yes. I do.”

I couldn’t bear to look at her anymore. Bowing my head, I concentrated on the sickness rampaging my body. I threw myself into the pit of pain knowing it was all I ever deserved.

“Q—” Her hand landed on my cheek. “Look at me.”

I couldn’t.

“Q—it’s okay.”

Rage.

She’d made me become this…this monster by being the perfect submissive. She’d drawn out the part of me I’d forever kept dormant. There was nothing okay about that.