Madeline Sheehan - Unattainable

Hawk’s hand came down on his shoulder and squeezed. “Don’t be a fuckin’ jackass,” the man said. “You sittin’ pretty ain’t gonna win you any favors. You’re just gonna end up sittin’ alone in the end. And, brother, the way you been actin’ with the hippie, you and me both know you ain’t wanna be sittin’ alone no more.”

Both Cage and Eva watched as Hawk turned on his boot heel and stalked silently through the club. The brother was hurting bad, it was in his expression, in his voice, in the way he walked. His shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world rested upon them.

Cage turned back to Eva. “For real,” he said. “She’s gonna kick me.”

Eva shrugged. “Take a look around you, Cage. From chaos, the strongest sort of love is usually born.”

Chaos. Well, he and Tegen definitely had that shit down.

But real love, mutual love, the sort of love Eva was talking about? How did you know if you had something like that?

Time, he figured. Over time, you would know. And then it dawned on him…

Wednesday! I have to be back at work on Tuesday!

Tegen didn’t live in Miles City anymore. Tegen lived in motherfucking California. She had an apartment, a job, and probably friends. She’d spent years building a life there.

Fuck, he’d been so caught up in her, inside of her actually, he hadn’t given much thought to what was going to happen when lockdown ended.

He didn’t have time.

Cage stormed off in search of Tegen. Several short breaths later, he found her closing Danny and Ripper’s bedroom door with a bundle of clothing in her arms.

“Was that fuckin’ necessary?” he demanded, marching up to her. “Actin’ like a goddamn lunatic?”

“You have got to be kidding me,” she said. “You’re mad at me for reacting to what you did? Groping me like club ass in front of everyone! Then saying you’d need a crowbar to pry my legs back open? You’re a sick, sexist motherfucker and, what? Did you expect me to do a fuckin’ jig? Or giggle and swoon and bend over the bar so you could fuck me in front of everyone?”

Cage opened his mouth, then promptly closed it. What the fuck did he say to that? She was right. He had been doing exactly what she was accusing him of.

He just hadn’t thought…

Fuck. He hadn’t thought. Period.

Snorting, Tegen pushed past him. “You think I don’t hear half the boys talking about how I jumped beds? I know they think I’m a slut, but you know better, don’t you?”

Pausing in front of his door, she glanced over his shoulder. “You do know better, right?”

Jesus, he was not going to get into another argument about whether or not Tegen was a club whore.

“Get inside the fuckin’ room,” he demanded, stalking toward her. Grabbing her arm, he pushed open his door and shoved her inside.

“Goddammit, Cage!” she screamed as she threw her armful of clothing at him. “Stop treating me like that! Stop shoving me into rooms, stop talking about me as if I’m not right there and, seriously, stop acting like your Neanderthal father!”

“What are you going to do about Z?” he demanded, ignoring her. “You need me to make that call, or you got that shit covered?”

Tegen went still. “What?” she asked.

“You dumb?” he shot back, feeling his patience quickly waning. “You need to tell him the two of you, whatever shit you had worked out, is done with. Give him the apartment, whatever, just get it done. We can worry about gettin’ your shit outta there later.”

Tegen’s eyes flared wide and Cage got the answer he’d been seeking. She’d planned on returning home.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Tegen asked. “Why would I give ZZ my apartment?”

And stupidly, he took it one step further. “I told you I wanted you to be my fuckin’ girl. You agreed.”

“I know that!” she snapped back. “I still don’t see what any of that has to do with my apartment?”

Cage lost it. For such a smart kid, she sure as fuck turned out to be a dumbass adult.

“Because ain’t no girl of mine is gonna be livin’ three states over! Especially with another dude! What the fuck kinda shit you thinkin’, Tegen?”

“Oh, really?” Tegen sneered. “Can you tell me what else I should or shouldn’t be doing? Is there a back-of-the-bike handbook around this fucking dump that I should be reading?

“Oh, no, wait,” she continued, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I forgot. None of you fuckers even know how to read. Except ZZ.”

“If you think,” he bit out, “that you’re gonna be jumpin’ beds again after this shit with us, you are fuckin’ wrong.”

“Jumping beds?” she shrieked. “Before this weekend, we were together once, Cage! Once, for a whole two minutes after which you basically told me you wanted nothing more to do with me! I did not jump beds! I was kicked out of yours and went happily to someone else’s!”

God, fucking, shit! Why was she so damn crazy all the time? Why couldn’t she manage to scrape together more than five seconds of normalcy for him?

“Are you hell-fuckin’-bent on drivin’ me to blow your fuckin’ skull wide open?” he shouted. “What the fuck do you want from me, bitch? Fuckin’ tell me so I can give it to you and you can SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

He was hardly surprised when, out of clothing to throw, she launched herself at him. He waited a beat before quickly sidestepping her, then hooked an arm around her stomach as she blasted by him. He lifted her right off her feet and heaved her across the ten feet between him and his bed.

“Cage!” she screamed as she jackknifed into a sitting position. “Stop manhandling me!”

Cage suddenly felt drained. She was exhausting. The constant back-and-forth, he hated it. It reminded him of his father, of their fucked-up relationship, and that was the last thing he wanted this shit with Tegen to become.

“Jesus,” he said, running his hands through his hair as he turned away from her. “This is not how I want this shit to be.”

Why the fuck were women so motherfucking fucked-up?

He knew this shit wasn’t just a weekend fuck fest. He could feel that truth, knew it in his gut every time he’d been inside her, working her over, watching, feeling her body tighten and release, feeling his reaction to her, and what a motherfucking awesome reaction it was.

He was so into her; she was so fucking into him. You couldn’t fake that kind of shit. He’d been with far too many women, he knew what was what.

And yet she was still acting like a nut job.

Jesus, this bitch was fucking him up. Had him thinking one thing and then another and then another and then he was back at the beginning again feeling all sorts of confused. His brain felt like it had been tied to a whipping post.

From chaos, the strongest sort of love is usually born.

When did Eva become motherfucking Buddha? But…coming from the woman who’d reined in his old man, he figured there just might be some truth in that statement.

When Tegen had yet to respond with another smartass comment, Cage turned around and found her standing only inches away from him. She went instantly up on her tiptoes and slung her arms around his neck, bringing his face down to hers.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, kissing him softly. Her tongue slid inside his mouth and tangled with his own as her hands dropped from his neck to his shoulders and then traveled lower, over his chest and stomach and then…

“Wait,” he said, grabbing her wrists and holding her hands still. Startled, she glanced up at him.

“Did you just say…you’re sorry?”

Her forehead wrinkled. “Yeah.”

He gaped at her. “You, Tegen Louise Matthews, just said…you were sorry?”

Her upper lip curled. “Yes,” she bit out. “I figured if the world’s most renowned man whore can apologize, so can I.”

It was his turn to grimace. He was really sick of all her digs in reference to his sexual history but he didn’t want to fight anymore, so he kept his mouth shut and let it slide.

“Can I resume taking your pants off now?” she asked.

“If I let you, will you wipe that dirty fuckin’ look off your face?”

“Maybe.”

“Babe, I’m gonna need a guarantee or it’s a no-go. I can’t be fuckin’ some bitch who’s lookin’ like she’d rather be doin’ laundry. Not sure my man-whorin’ ego could take a blow like that.”

It started out with just a mere twitch of her lips but quickly escalated, and Cage found himself staring dumbfounded at the woman in front of him. She was giggling.

Tegen.

Giggling.

He went insta-hard.

“Keep laughin’,” he growled, walking her backward. “That shit looks good on you.”

“Shut up,” she said, grinning. “And fuck me.”

He shoved her back on the bed and jumped on over her.

“Way ahead of you, Teacup,” he said, fumbling with his zipper. “While you been bein’ crazy, I’ve been fuckin’ you for the past twenty minutes at least, might even finish before I get up inside that hungry pussy of yours. And I ain’t the little engine that could; when my shit is outta fuel, that bastard is in for the night. So, fuckin’ sucks to be you.”

Giggles turned into full-on hysterics and Cage stopped what he was doing and just watched her laugh. Hell, she looked young. Her nose scrunched up, pink-faced, and trying to breathe in between bouts of full-bellied laughter.

No scowl. No angry lines. No narrowed eyes or flat lips. She looked young, fresh, and fucking beautiful.

Cage propelled himself into action. Not knowing when he was going to get a chance like this again, he wasn’t going to miss it. After undressing her as fast as he could, he reached over, grabbed a condom off the nightstand and—

Tegen gasped at his harsh entry. Then her surprise bled quickly into a smile.

“Better, babe?” he asked, grinning down at her.

“Your dick should become a United Nations dignitary,” she said. “That fucker could put the smackdown on the world peace holdup.”

Cage’s body shook with laughter.

“I love you, Teacup,” he said, smiling. “Always have,” he said. “Just didn’t realize it until now.”

Her surprised whimper made him grin.

“Now, about that fuckin’ apartment in Cali?”

Beneath him, Tegen’s body trembled violently. When her chin began to shake, he cupped the side of her face and held her still.

“Babe?” he asked gently.

“What am I going to do here?” she whispered.

“You know exactly what you’re gonna fuckin’ do here,” he whispered back, pulling out of her slowly and then sliding just as slowly back inside.

“You’re gonna put your skinny ass on the back of my bike, you’re gonna move into my fuckin’ house, you’re gonna cook and you’re gonna clean and you’re gonna fuck me whenever the fuck I want it.”

When her eyes flared with anger, he growled, “Shut up.” After a pause, during which he managed to glare tenderly at her, he continued. “Other than that, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Get a fuckin’ job, or fuckin’ don’t, or start writin’ those books you were always talkin’ about.”

For a moment neither of them moved, then Tegen’s mouth opened and Cage internally winced, waiting for her to lay into him. But instead of speaking, her breath shuddered heavily from her chest and her mouth closed. Opened again. Closed.

“Okay,” she whispered and he could see the fear in her green eyes. It matched the fear inside of him, the fear that he was making the wrong decision, that they didn’t work together, that this would end up in a catastrophe of fucking and fighting.

Only thing was…the happiness he felt far outweighed his fears.

Muttering curses, Deuce continued quickly down the back hall until he reached Jase’s room. Grabbing the knob, he twisted and pushed open the door. As soon as it closed behind him, he shrugged out of his cut and pulled his T-shirt over his head, then flung both garments across the room. Still cursing, he reached for his belt buckle, stopping when a pair of small, soft hands covered his own.

Eva’s big gray eyes met his. “Baby,” she said softly. “You need to calm down.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, pushing her hands away. “Not gonna happen, babe. I’m the stupid fuck who knocked your ass up again. Already got enough fuckin’ problems, don’t need to add losin’ you to my fuckin’ list.”

“You wanted more kids.”

Shoving down his jeans, Deuce stepped out of them and, turning away from his wife, headed for the bathroom.

“Yeah,” he mumbled to himself. “’Cause I fuckin’ look at your ass and get hard. Fact remains that you shouldn’t be havin’ babies.”