Madeline Sheehan - Unattainable

Trembling, I could only stare at him. The feelings were all there, the need, the ache, but the words wouldn’t come. I couldn’t say it.

“Fucking shit, Tegen!” Cage yelled, backing away from me. “What do I gotta do?”

His arms dropped to his sides and his fists clenched into tight balls. Our eyes met and his nostrils began flaring. There was no doubt in my mind in that moment; he was truly his father’s son.

And I was my mother’s daughter. Weak. Desperate. In love with the wrong man.

“Try. This. Shit. With. Me,” he said, growling through his clenched teeth.

Ohh. My heart broke. It took all of my willpower not to run to him. He knew everything about ZZ and yet he was back, had literally beat down my door and shot up my apartment to get to me. This is what I’d always wanted, right? My dream come true, my every fantasy.

“I don’t want to be like my mother!” I screamed.

“Good!” he bellowed. “’Cause I ain’t in fuckin’ love with your damn mother!”

My chest heaving, my heart exploding, I pointed at him with a shaking finger. “You’re a fucking whore, Cage! You’re not going to change!”

“FUCK YOU!” he bellowed. “I know I haven’t given you a goddamn reason to trust me, but FUCK YOU, BITCH, you haven’t given me a fuckin’ chance to give you a fuckin’ reason!”

“You’re going to hurt me again!” I screamed. “You’re going to make me say it and then you’re going to say it back to me and I’m going to do whatever you want me to do and in the end you’re going to fuck me over. AGAIN! And I’m going to be pathetic and stupid, watching you hook up with girls ten times more beautiful than I will ever be! AGAIN!”

Cage’s eyes darkened and the muscles in his arms began to twitch and jump under his skin.

“Bitch,” he hissed. “What the fuck do you want to hear? I ain’t gonna tell you that I’m not gonna fuck up and I ain’t gonna tell you that you’re the most beautiful fuckin’ woman in the entire world! Yeah, you’re too fuckin’ skinny, you ain’t got shit for tits, and you look like a goddamn motherfuckin’ hippie!”

My lower lip started to tremble as I fought back my blossoming tears. Seeing this, Cage closed his eyes and let out a long, frustrated sigh.

“Tegen,” he said and took a long step forward. Wrapping his hands around my upper arms, he bent his head, bringing us face-to-face.

“But, babe, you’re the most beautiful woman in the whole goddamn world, to me. You’re all I fuckin’ want, Teacup. You got the hottest pair of eyes I’ve ever fuckin’ seen and your tattoos, babe, they’re sexy as all hell, and your goddamn hipbones, fuckin’ shit, me grabbin’ on to them, fuckin’ you slow, drives me straight-up crazy.”

Air exploded from my lungs in the form of a whimper and my body, suddenly exhausted, slumped forward against Cage’s. I couldn’t hold back my tears now; they were streaming freely down my cheeks.

“You know what else I fuckin’ love?” he asked in a growling whisper. “I love your dirty fuckin’ mouth. I love the fact that you don’t hold back, that you’re tough as fuckin’ nails on the outside, but on the inside you’re still my Teacup.”

“St-stop,” I whispered, unable to contain all the emotion welling up inside of me.

“No,” he growled. “You need to hear this shit. You need to fuckin’ get it through your thick fuckin’ skull that I want those skinny-ass legs wrapped around me, I want your tiny fuckin’ tits in my hands and in my goddamn mouth, and I don’t give a fuck what you’re lookin’ like as long as you’re lookin’ like it by my fuckin’ side.”

Then Cage tilted my head back and grinned down at me. “You fuckin’ feel me, babe?” he said, mimicking his father.

I stopped crying and started glaring. “Don’t you dare act like your father!”

Cage crushed me to him and burst out laughing. “Reel it in, Teacup. Reel it the fuck in.”

• • •

Cage held Tegen tightly to him and breathed out a sigh of relief.

She was a hot fucking mess. She was crying, trembling in his arms, yet still glaring up at him with the combined anger of a thousand spurned women alight in her eyes. But he didn’t care. She was his hot mess.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, I’m on the road for a fuckin’ month and this is what I’m comin’ home to?”

Tegen froze in his arms and he glanced over his shoulder. The man standing less than fifteen feet away, a man he’d known his entire life, was almost unrecognizable to him. His dark hair was much longer than it had ever been, greasy, pulled back in a ponytail, and he’d aged a good ten years in the few he’d been gone. He looked tired, beaten down, and extremely angry.

“This what you been doin’ on your trips home, Tegen?” ZZ said, lifting his chin in Cage’s direction. “Fuckin’ brothers?”

Cage released Tegen and turned around. Keeping his eye on ZZ, he wasn’t feeling the guy’s body language, so he bent down and grabbed Tegen’s clothing off the floor.

“Get dressed,” he said, shoving the clothes in her direction.

ZZ’s mouth curved into a cruel grin. “You’re kiddin’ me, right? Been up inside that more times than I can count. Bitch is in my fuckin’ bed. Or didn’t you know that?”

Cage’s already tense body tightened further. “Yeah, I fuckin’ knew. And she ain’t in your bed no more.”

ZZ’s grin only grew. “Yeah? She in yours now?”

“Z,” Tegen said, tripping over her jeans as she awkwardly tried to get dressed. “I tried to call you a million times.”

ZZ’s eyes shot to Tegen and he lost his grin. “You tryin’ to tell me somethin’?” he asked darkly.

Cage stepped in front of Tegen before she could answer. “I’m tryin’ to tell you somethin’,” he said. “Don’t fuckin’ look at her.”

“Shut up, Cage,” Tegen said, pushing out from behind him. Fully dressed, she stepped forward. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “This was not how this was supposed to happen.”

Cage watched as his old friend’s eyes grew hard, cold, and unfocused. “You’re one dumb bitch,” ZZ spat and Cage went rigid. “If you’re thinkin’ he gives two fucks about you. Fucker is just like his sister and they’re both just like their old man.”

“Don’t bring my sister into this shit,” Cage gritted out.

ZZ laughed coldly. “Your fuckin’ whore of a sister tossed my ass to the curb like I was week-old garbage she couldn’t get rid of quick enough.

“And you,” he said, turning back to Tegen. “So that’s fuckin’ it? Me and you, these past years, it meant jack-fuckin’-shit to you?”

Cage looked to Tegen who was staring openmouthed at ZZ, her shock plain as day. “Z,” she whispered. “I didn’t think…it wasn’t…we weren’t that…”

ZZ smiled bitterly. “Yeah,” he said coldly. “I guess fuckin’ not. But you are so fuckin’ wrong if you think this asshole ain’t gonna put your whorin’ ass on the curb, just like his sister did to me.”

Cage had been feeling sort of bad for the guy, because Danny had done him wrong. But first the fucker called his sister a whore, then his woman, and not only that he accused him of not really caring about Tegen…

He lost his last shred of self-control. “Get the fuck out!” he bellowed, reaching for his gun as he stormed forward. He wasn’t going to shoot ZZ, just scare him the fuck out of here.

“Cage!” Tegen shrieked from behind him.

Cage stumbled backward as searing pain shot through his chest. Another crack and more pain exploded throughout his body. He stared dumbly at ZZ, at the gun still pointed at him as he lost his footing. Then he was staring at the floor as it came rushing up to meet his face and for a moment everything went blurry.

“Cage! Cage! CAGE!”

He blinked furiously, trying to rid the cloudiness that had overcome his vision, and could sort of make out Tegen beside him. He could feel her gripping his arm, trying to roll him over; he could hear her screaming, sobbing, and crying; and off in the distance, he could hear sirens.

They weren’t going to make it in time. He was trying to hang on but warm blood was flooding his mouth, a stark contrast to the freezing cold taking root inside his veins.

“Cage,” she sobbed. “Please wake up, Cage. Please, please, wake up!”

He couldn’t answer her. He tried but nothing happened; nothing was working.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!” she screamed. “No! NO! Fuck! Don’t leave me! FUCK YOU, CAGE! Please don’t leave me, you stupid fucker! I fucking love you and you can’t leave me!”

He tried to smile; maybe he did, he didn’t know.

Then everything went dark.

“How many times do we have to go over this?” I screamed.

The two police detectives, a man and a woman both dressed in plain clothes, glanced at each other before glancing back down at me.

“Ms. Matthews,” the man said calmly. “I know you’re upset, but what you’re telling us doesn’t make any sense. Now, which one of the men are you romantically involved with?”

Shrieking, I buried my face in my hands.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Ms. Matthews,” the woman said. “I understand how hard this is right now, but we need to know everything that happened.”

Of course they did. They had to know right this motherfucking second. Who cared that Cage was bleeding out all over an operating table? Not them. They’d taken one look at the leather cut the doctors had handed them, read the words “Hell’s Horsemen,” and immediately thought the worst of him.

Who cared that I just watched the man I loved get shot twice in the chest, cough and wheeze and spit blood all over himself? Who cared that I watched as his eyes rolled back and his body went limp, or that I had to stand by and watch as the paramedics jammed a tube into his lungs to help him breathe, or that he was now in surgery as trauma surgeons attempted to remove the bullets and repair the damage to his lungs?

These fuckers didn’t care.

“Cage,” I hissed, jerking my head up. “I am involved with Cage.”

“And Mr. Jeffries?” the man asked. “What was your relationship with him?”

“ZZ,” I said. “And he was my roommate. And just FYI, if you go around asking about Zachary Jeffries, no one is going to know who the fuck you are talking about!”

“ZZ, then,” the woman said, squeezing my shoulder. “Were you ever involved with him? Is that why he shot Cage?”

Embarrassed, I closed my eyes. “Yes,” I whispered.

God, this was all my fault. All of it. Why couldn’t I do anything right? What the fuck was so wrong with me that I couldn’t even coexist like a normal fucking human being?

“Tegen!”

At the sound of my mother’s voice, my body spurred into action. Shaking off the detective, I jumped out of my seat and went running toward the reception area where my mother met me halfway and threw her arms around me. Suddenly, I was roughly yanked out of her arms and Deuce was gripping my arm painfully tight and bearing down on me, his blue eyes burning. “Where is he?” he growled.

“I-I…” I swallowed hard and tried again. “He’s in surgery,” I finished quickly.

“Not Cage!” he shouted, shaking me. “Where the fuck is ZZ?”

My eyes filled. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “He just left…he shot him and left.”

“Deuce,” Eva said quietly, appearing beside us. “Let her go.”

Deuce ignored her and continued to glare down at me. “This is your fuckin’ fault, you stupid fuckin’ bitch, and if my kid dies in there, you’re fuckin’ next, you feel me?”

My stomach seized and my tears spilled over.

“Let her go!” my mother cried.

“Dammit!” Eva yelled, trying to pry Deuce off of me. “You’re hurting her! Let her go!”

“Is there a problem here?” Both detectives had joined the fray and were both frowning heavily at Deuce.

“You fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” he barked in their direction. “My kid is who the fuck knows where with holes in him and you pantsuit-wearin’ motherfucks are askin’ me if there’s a motherfuckin’ problem?”

Again, the two detectives glanced at each other.

“Cole West,” the male said, his voice flat, his expression clearly repulsed.

“Yeah,” he snarled. “You wanna fuckin’ autograph?”

“Either you release Ms. Matthews,” the female warned, “or I will arrest you for assault.”

“Baby,” Eva said softly, running her hand up his arm and gripping his bicep. “This isn’t Tegen’s fault and even if it was, this isn’t helping Cage at all.”

Nostrils flaring, glaring down at me, Deuce yanked me roughly forward and up onto my tiptoes.

“Get the fuck outta this hospital,” he gritted out. “Stay the fuck away from my boy and my fuckin’ club. I see you, Tegen, I fuckin’ so much as smell you, I will crack your fuckin’ skull wide open.”