Lindsay Delagair - Unforgivable

He and the owner watched the cameras as Sadarius began rehearsing the song ‘Beautiful’ by Akon.

“Capture that,” the owner said quickly, pointing to camera twenty-seven.

Cedric brought the camera view to full screen as he watched what had intrigued the owner, actually it would intrigue anyone with an ounce of sex drive. Leese had begun to dance backstage as the music pumped through the studio. She was wearing a pair of straight-leg jeans with high heels and a button up the front white cotton shirt with the first three buttons undone and a nice view of her cleavage. She was laughing and smiling, running her fingers through her hair as her body swung and swayed to the beat of the music. She was dancing like some kind of lithe nymph high on life. Sadarius was, of course, oblivious as to what was happening backstage, but every time he would sing the repetitive verse, “You’re so beautiful, so damn beautiful,” the two men watching would reflexively moan their approval.

“I want that playing on the screen behind Sadarius when he sings tomorrow night. Work your magic on it so the backstage is blended out and it’s mostly just her.”

“Boss, I don’t know if that’s gonna be cool with Sadarius. I mean it’s his song and she’s going to be stealing the spotlight.”

He could tell from the look on the owner’s face that he didn’t care what Sadarius would think about it.

“Don’t you have something else to do, right now?”

The hint was quickly taken that the boss wanted to watch her privately so Cedric left the room.

“You are beautiful,” the man replied as he watched his personal dancer, “So damn beautiful.”

It was a sold out live show as the men took to the stage to sing. There were full bands tonight to enhance the performances, and Sadarius had drawn the final slot for the night. Leese sat with the other women, although she was about to come out of her seat as the music began; she loved the song.

The audience was having quite a reaction as they cheered and screamed while he perfectly executed the lyrics.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Kitkat exclaimed.

Leese looked up and suddenly realized what was taking everyone by surprise. There she was, full screen behind Sadarius dancing to the song.

“Ah, crap!” she exclaimed, but there was nothing she could do about it.

They called the women on stage for the voting results from Tuesday’s show, and Nicole had the least amount of votes and was eliminated. The women’s final four had been determined.

The show ended as everyone met back stage, and it didn’t take long for Sadarius to find Don. “Hey man, that was not too cool to put my competition looking sharp behind me when I’m singing.”

Don would have told Sadarius that he absolutely agreed, but he had nothing to do with it. Producers may run the show, but the money that pays the producers calls the shots. “You did a great job and I don’t think her performance is going to lower your votes, if anything I think she’ll give you a boost.

About that moment, Leese approached the two of them. “Sadarius, I had no idea they filmed me yesterday, I’m so sorry-”

“It’s okay, baby-doll,” he said as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in for a light hug, “I didn’t figure you had anything to do with it. And damn, girl, the only problem it caused for me was the fact that I kept wanting to turn around and watch you dance,” he smirked.

“Don, did you plan this?”

“No, Leese. But, you signed the contract allowing us to film you and who knows, this may work out well for both of you,” he stated trying to keep a positive spin on things.

Later that night Cedric finished the install of the hidden camera in Leese’s dressing room, making sure it was angled properly for the widest possible shot. He thought about running the feed to his panel as well and simply keeping it turned off except for times when he knew the boss wasn’t around, but getting caught was a very unpleasant thought. The feed went to the boss’s office as instructed.

The next week was country week, and I prepared to sing my song for Ryan. I told him from the start there was a song that expressed how I felt about him. He already knew my feelings, as I thought about the intimate kiss I gave him when I told him that I loved him, but he didn’t know the song. I was back on a plane to Tennessee, but this time I was headed to Pigeon Forge.

I had one more surprise for him. I mailed him an envelope with explicit instructions he wasn’t to open it until after my stage performance, and it would be best to open it in private.

When Tuesday night came, I knew the judges expected to see me sing some top forty country hit, but what I had chosen was a very old song. This time I wasn’t thinking about Micah’s face. The song could have just as easily have been for him, but this was for Ryan.

I looked deeply into the camera with all the honesty I possessed as I sang the Dolly Parton version of ‘I Will Always Love You.’ I couldn’t stop the soft tears as I sang the final words.

The judges liked my performance although they were commenting on the fact they would have chosen something more current, but my reviews were still positive.

I went back to the contestant area and waited as Kitkat finished the last song of the night. I wished the whole while I could have my cell phone to find out what Ryan thought about my gift, but it would have to wait. I made the decision, since I told him I’d never give him the final kiss, I would pay him (so to speak) for it. He had told me to stop blowing money on him, but I owed him that kiss and found it hard to put a price tag on it.

I was in the limo riding back to the mansion, and my cell was softly vibrating in my purse. When I pulled it out, I had six new messages all from Ryan’s cell. I didn’t really want to call him with all the ladies in the car, but I was anxious to talk to him, so I hit the speed dial and took a breath.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” was all he said when he answered the phone.

“Well, considering what the price was, I thought it was a fairly even trade.”

“Leese, I…” His voice cracked as he paused. “I loved the song, but you didn’t need to buy the house for me.”

“The lease is going to end in less than a year and then you’d either have to re-up or find some place new and I hate to think of someone else owning our first place.” The line was silent so I continued, “Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m against you selling, if you and Candace decide you want to live somewhere else.”

“You aren’t moving again, are you? The whole business in the song about, ‘so I’ll go’ you aren’t trying to tell me anything, are you?”

I took a small breath, “Someday, but for right now, no.”

“That someday better be far, far away, because I’m not ready to have you go-not right now, anyway.”

“I’ve got one free day on Friday, since they’re making us miss Thanksgiving-is Candace working?

“It’s Black Friday, so she is working an extended shift eight to four-unless you want me to come out there?”

“No, I think she’d kill you. I’ll see you sometime Friday morning.”

“By eight,” he added. She’d be at work by seven-forty-five and he wasn’t going to waste any time.

They wouldn’t give the results of the women’s or men’s eliminations during the Thanksgiving show, but would make everyone wait until Tuesday when we did our first combined show. I would have to spend the weekend wondering if I made it or not, but that was okay.

Saturday afternoon I had a big practice in L.A. for my next song, but I would relish the opportunity to sleep in his arms for the few hours we were able.

He was at the airport waiting for me when I landed because my little Aero was parked in the garage at home. I climbed into the Javelin and hugged his neck long and hard. I had gone two weeks without my Ryan-fix and I needed him like I needed a breath of fresh air.

The only problem was the excitement of seeing him was canceling out the sleep I actually needed to get.

“I could use another one of your tee-shirts,” I whispered as he cuddled against my back in the bed. “I’ve just about drained every ounce of you out of the other one.” I gave a light laugh as I pulled his tattooed arm tighter around my waist. He put a slow kiss on my neck, sending tingles to my belly button.

“Close your eyes and go to sleep, we only have about five more hours.” His voice was deep and throaty, it almost didn’t sound like him.

“I’m trying,” I said earnestly, “I’m just glad to be home.”

“Stop talking,” he breathed into my hair.

I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing. I became so still I could feel the beat of his heart. The next thing I remember was him gently waking me. Our time had ended and he was going to meet Candace at home and bring her back to my place for a little while. He pulled off his tee-shirt and tucked it into my hands, then slipped on his jacket and was gone. I actually fell back asleep with his shirt pressed to my cheek. I woke to the doorbell, they were back.

“Hey,” Candace was saying as she came through the door with a box in her hand. “Miss Naomi said she couldn’t stand the idea of you not getting a Thanksgiving dinner so she made you up a big take-out box.” It was more than enough food for all three of us.

Saturday morning I was the only person who got to rehearse in the studio and on stage with my group. Tuesday’s show was music from the 70’s and I chose to do a remake of Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band’s ‘Old Time Rock and Roll.’ The fun part was that I decided to do it in Tom Cruise fashion. It was a little scary at first as I took off running and then slid, in my socked feet, onto the stage gripping an electric guitar. Slipping and falling would be a disaster, but after a couple tries I knew my balance was good enough to keep me upright. It would look like I was only in a man’s dress shirt and socks, but I had a white bikini on underneath.

The song had a gritty kind of quality that was difficult to master and by the time I was finished my vocal cords were a little strained, but I got the essence (even if I did think it sounded much better when Bob Seger sang it).

The pace of the show was now feverish as everyone had two songs a week to perform. On Thursday, the theme was the 80’s and I worked with Foreigner to do the song, ‘I Wanna Know What Love Is,’ and then the next it was working with Aerosmith for Tuesday’s show and I sang ‘I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing.’

When the Christian/Gospel night theme arrived, I felt like I was finally in my true element. I decided to sing ‘Praise You In This Storm,’ by Casting Crowns and everything was set for my practice when Sadarius approached me and asked for a favor. He decided to sing ‘Born Again,’ by Third Day, but he wanted to keep the female part in the song and he asked if I would be willing to accompany him. Don wasn’t real keen on the idea, saying that one of us might suffer votes because of it, but, if we really wanted to, we could do it as a duet. I would be the person with the majority of the stress because it meant I had to perform twice that night. If it had been anything other than Christian music, I would have really struggled, but this was easy for me.

The only tricky part was using a falsetto for the needed high pitched female part in the duet. We practiced with Third Day and Lacey Moseley from Flyleaf until we felt we had it right.

We were down to the final four: Sadarius, Kitkat, Lexington, and me. The last week would be rock for two days, and then the last show would be a two hour results show. The final three contestants would sing for the first hour, phone lines would open for one hour of voting, and the two finalists would be announced to return two days before Christmas for the final contest.

The duet went perfectly. Sadarius and I sang the uplifting lyrics as images of baptisms, crosses, infants, and breath-taking scenery played in the background. But, what had been a spiritual and uplifting evening ended up appearing on the cover of the tabloids saying I had dumped Ryan and was now dating Sadarius.

The last week I sang ‘Kryptonite’ by Three Doors Down, and the last song for the two hour results show was ‘When You’re Gone,’ by Avril Lavigne. The final three were Lexington, Sadarius and me. They played a montage of all the songs we had sung up to this night as the three of us waited nervously to see who would be the final two. When the results were tabulated, the finalists were Sadarius and me.

The show was pulling in the biggest ratings of the whole year, and a celebration party was planned for the Saturday before the last episode. I dreaded going alone and also dreaded what the next round of tabloid news would be spreading about me. I was coming home the Friday before the party, and I finally accepted Ryan’s offer to come out to L.A. I had turned him down every time to prevent problems between him and Candace, but I wanted him to attend the party with me. I needed the tabloids to get off the kick about Sadarius. I had to get Ryan back in the picture before it looked like he was out of my life.