I was passing out. I couldn’t breathe. His hand moved just before I lost consciousness. I gasped and sputtered for air. Then he was on me, his weight crushing my already air deprived lungs. He was tearing the last of my clothes and under garments, my body screaming in pain as the elastic on my bra cut into my skin. Then he was biting me, not the way he used to when he would make love to me, but literally sinking his teeth into skin. I was crying and pleading for him to stop. I was saying his name over and over, hoping it would shake him out of his inhuman state before he did the unthinkable.

It was too late. I screamed out in pain as his body tore into mine. I wasn’t prepared for his entrance and even if I had been, his aim was skewed and my body seemed to split under the punching drive of his hips. His massive hands were gripping my shoulders too hard and it felt as if he had bruised every inch of my body has he raped me on the floor.

I was convulsing with sobs, as the violence slowed. The rage was releasing its hold over him and he began to call out my name. He was becoming controlled as he found his rhythm inside me. “Leese, Leese, I’m sorry,” he cried, tears now coursing down his face as he continued to bring himself back to the human side. “I love you, baby-I’m so sorry-I need you so badly-please, please don’t cry.” He lifted slightly as he looked into my bloody, shocked face. His mouth came down again, but this time softly, kissing my eyes and my cheeks, my chin and my mouth.

My body was starting to respond to what was now turning gentle. I didn’t want to let my physical side win this battle, because that was what it had been, but the needs I’d had stored away for so long were now being brought to life.

His mouth was begging me to part my lips and respond. With tears rolling down my cheeks, I accepted the kiss; the taste of my blood mixing with the flavor of the alcohol. His hips were grinding so deliberately and I couldn’t fight the feeling any longer as I cried out and thrust my hips upward to meet his strokes. He cried out at the same moment and we crested together.

I didn’t want to open my eyes and look at him as he observed the damage he’d done to me. “God, Leese, why did it have to be this way?” he said with a stunned, choked sob, “I never meant… I didn’t want to hurt-”

At that moment, I heard the sound of the Javelin and terror flooded me. Micah raised himself, pulling up and refastening his jeans. His human side simply vanished as his eyes went blank; he reached in his jacket and pulled out his pistol.

“No,” I begged, gripping his arm, the gun pointing dangerously toward me, “Don’t hurt him, Micah. I swear if you hurt him then you might as well kill me right now.”

His eyes were still blank as I heard the engine turn off. He looked up and then looked back at me.

I grabbed the barrel and pressed it to my chest. “Go ahead,” I choked, “pull the trigger, Micah, because I won’t live if you hurt him.”

“I-I can’t.”

My finger went into the trigger guard and I was poised to finish this.

“Don’t Leese,” he said pushing the safety back on with his other hand, “He’s not worth it, is he?”

“He’s worth every breath left in my body. Take his life and you’ve ended mine, too.”

I could hear as the key was turning in the lock. Micah was up and away from me in an instant, the gun still gripped in his hand. The scream strangled in my throat as Ryan opened the door and Micah jerked him inside and slammed him against the wall so hard I thought he would knock him out.

Ryan’s eyes blinked a couple times, not really understanding what had just happened. The gun went against his head as Micah spewed out the two most bitter words I’d ever heard in my life.

“Your turn,” he growled, then slammed his shoulder into Ryan’s chest, knocking the air out of him and then letting him fall to the floor. Micah was out the door. A car cranked and I heard it screech away from the house.

“Leese?” he coughed and gasped out my name.

I was so relieved that Micah hadn’t killed him that I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move from where I’d been drilled to the floor; my body beginning to cramp and burn and ache.

Ryan rose, shaking his head as if he was trying to bring his brain back to life. He looked toward the couch and he saw me. I think he thought at the moment I was dead, because the look on his face was horror struck. He rushed to my side as the ability to sob returned to me. I didn’t want him to see me stripped down naked, but there was nothing left of my clothes to cover me.

“Oh, God, baby girl, oh, God-what the hell did he do to you?” he said reaching under me as gently as possible and picking me up from the floor. He carried me to the bedroom, tears pouring down his face as he laid me down and used the corner of the sheet to cover my body.

“That son-of-a-bitch is going to jail,” he snarled, grabbing his cell and flipping it open.

“No,” I choked, reaching out and stopping him, “No cops-please, I don’t want anyone to know,”

“You’ve… God, Leese, you’ve got to go to the hospital. You’re bleeding, baby girl, pretty bad. I-I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll be okay-I just need-”

“Leese, I’m freaking out here-I don’t know what to do to help you.”

“I-I-need to wash off and get some clothes. Can you help me to the bathroom?” I pleaded, the pain growing stronger and I was starting to double over.

He removed the sheet and reached underneath me as I wrapped my arms feebly around his neck. He lowered me into the tub and turned on the warm water, allowing the tub to fill as he used a washcloth to clean my face and neck. He was crying his eyes out as he washed each cut, bruise, and bite mark. He worked lower, but I took the washcloth away from his trembling hand and I washed my most private area. It stung so badly to clean the tear. He drained the pink water and helped me stand as he wrapped me in a towel and carried me back to the bed, placing me on the opposite side to avoid the stained sheets and then went to the dresser.

He returned with a button up the front top and a pair of underwear.

“I need a-a pad. Would you get me one from under the bathroom sink?”

He returned and helped me swing my legs over the side of the bed as I slipped on the underwear and placed the pad inside and pulled them up. He took the bloody sheet away and came back with a fresh blanket and covered me up, crawling in behind me and trying to find a way to hold me that wouldn’t cause me any further pain.

“You can’t let him just get away with this,” he whispered, smoothing my hair away from my temple. “You’ve got to turn him in.”

“No-I know you won’t understand this, but something was wrong. He wasn’t himself.”

“Leese, I think you’re wrong-I think you just met the real Micah.”

“No,” I sobbed, refusing to believe him. “I know him well enough, he didn’t intend for this to happen.”

“Don’t say another word. Don’t cover for what he did. I want to kill him bad enough at the moment; we’ve got to stop talking about him.”

He held me for a while and I began to drift. When I woke up, I was alone and I heard voices. All I could hope and pray was that he hadn’t called the police.

“Ryan?” I called out.

He entered the room with Candace, “I had to have someone, Leese. I can’t handle this.”

Candace sat gently on the edge of the bed and by the expression on her face I must have looked pretty bad.

She pulled back the covers to see the rest of me and I could see her flinch. “He’s got to go to jail,” she stated matter-of-factly.

I touched her hand as I shook my head, no.

“Leese, this was worse than a beating, he-he raped you.”

“No,” I whispered. “No one except the three of us is going to know anything about this-I couldn’t take it if this got to the press. My mom…” I choked up, but stopped before the tears spilt over my lashes.

“We can’t leave you here like this.”

“I’m staying,” Ryan stated with a hard edge. “I won’t be coming home until she’s-”

“Bring her to our house,” Candace said gently. “You said the crazy son-of-a-bitch pulled a gun on you, and I don’t want the two of you here and have him show back up.”

“No!” Ryan snapped back at her. “I don’t want to take a chance of him showing up with you around. I want you to go stay at your dad’s for a few-”

“No, Ryan, I-”

“Please, Candace. This is bad enough. I couldn’t take it if something happened to you, too.”

I could see his concern for her safety washed over her like a wave of love, and then the tough exterior peeled away and she began to cry, “I don’t want anything to happen to you either.”

He dried her tears and held her close, “Don’t worry, please. I’ll turn on the alarm and I’ll call the police if I even suspect that he’s around. Stay at your dad’s-for me-Candace, please.”

She finally left and he went around and locked every door and window, set the alarm and crawled in beside me. I had drawn my knees up which made it difficult for him to hold me the way he normally did, so he let his hand rest on my shoulder as I fell back asleep.

The next day the cramping was worse and I was still incredibly sore. My body looked hideous like I’d been tossed over a mountainside and had rolled all the way to the bottom. Ryan tried to get me to eat, but I honestly didn’t want anything. By noon he said he was going to go get me something for the pain, but he would be back as quickly as possible. Within thirty minutes, he sat beside the bed with a glass of dark amber liquid.

“Sit up, baby girl,” he was trying to help me up from under the covers.

“No, wait. I don’t have my shirt on,” I said looking for wherever it went. It felt like it was cutting into my bruises last night and I had pulled it off, now all I had was a bra that Candace helped me get on before she left the day before.

“Leese, you were absolutely naked yesterday. I can handle your bra and underwear. Drink some of this.”

I was in so much pain that I was cringing as he propped the pillows behind me. He brought the glass to my face; the strong aroma of alcohol hit me. I pushed his hand away, “No-what is that?”

“Brandy. Drink it.”

“No,” I refused.

“Leese, when I was little I’d get terrible stomach aches and my dad would give me sips of brandy to ease the pain. It always worked. Please, drink it-I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

I knew that as I allowed him to bring it back to my mouth. It was strong, yet had a strange, smooth quality that warmed my throat and stomach immediately. “I can’t drink all of this,” I protested.

“It’s like seven or eight ounces; it’s not that much and it will help.”

He encouraged me to continue as I sipped until nothing remained in the glass. I was warm all over, but not the same as when David doped me with ecstasy. This was a different kind of warm. The cramps seemed to blend away in the heat and my eyelids drooped heavily as I realized I had consumed enough to pass out. The last thing I remembered was moaning softly that I wanted to sleep as he slid me down in the bed.

“I’m sorry,” I heard him whisper as he kissed my forehead, but I was too sleepy to care what he was apologizing for as I drifted away.

I woke eight hours later to the sound of my cell phone going off. “Who is it?” I asked weakly.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Ryan, who is it?”

“It’s Don-at least I think it’s Don unless Micah is using his phone.”

I put out my hand.

“No.”

“Give it to me. He’s calling about Wednesday.”

Reluctantly he handed it to me as I caught it before it had gone to voicemail.

“Leese,” came Don’s panicked voice, “you were supposed to be back in L.A. last night. We’ve got-”

“I can’t-I can’t get back for the special Wednesday. I’ve-”

“Can’t! We’re talking the finale, here! What do you mean can’t?!”

“I was in a-a-car accident,” I began. The line was silent so I continued, “I’m really banged up and I can’t go on stage looking like this. I can barely stand up for that matter.”

“I’m sorry, Leese, I didn’t know. What happened? Was anyone else hurt?”

“No-no-it was a deer in the road,” I lied. “It went right through the windshield. I’ve got cuts and bruises everywhere.”

“Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll either get the network to run a Christmas special or Remake reruns. I’ll let you know as soon as I work it out.”

The next day, he was standing at my bedside, “Geez, a deer did this? It looks more like a grizzly. Are those bite marks?” he said looking at my shoulder.

I pulled the blanket up to cover the mark, “No, just lots of glass.”

“Well, you’re lucky it didn’t take your head off. That little Aero must be tougher than it looks.”