It all spiraled out of control. I had a few drinks with friends after work. I called Lisa to let her know that I was leaving and I’d be home soon. She was livid; she didn’t want me hanging out with friends after work.

“Hey Lisa, baby, I’m on my way home,” I said.

“I told you not to go out tonight. Have you been drinking?” Lisa asked in an accusatory tone.

“I had a couple with the guys, no big deal,” I replied assertively.

“I told you not to drink anymore, let alone hang out with those losers. Don’t fucking come home tonight!” Lisa yelled.

“Where the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight, Lisa?” I asked.

“I don’t give a shit. You’re not welcome here. Don’t come back here tonight or ever. I’m done with your bullshit and lies. You’re an asshole, and not worth the misery anymore. I’m through… we’re through!” Lisa screamed into the phone.

Click. Silence.

I quickly walked out the door, hopped in my work truck, and drove erratically towards home.

“Evening, John. Can you open the gate for me, please?” I asked.

“Sorry sir. Ms. Jackson said that you no longer live with her. I am not to let you in the front gate.”

“John, come on. You know I live here, I didn’t move. She’s just angry with me. Please,” I begged.

“Sorry, nothing I can do about it, sir, unless your name is on the lease, is it?” John asked.

“No, it’s not.” I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.

“Nothing I can do then. I can’t let you into the community if you’re no longer a resident,” John stated to me in a matter-of-fact tone, but with sadness in his eyes.

I had nowhere to go. Even though my mother lived nearby, Lisa had made sure to sever that relationship. I had to be at work tomorrow, and I needed my work clothes from the house. I pulled out of the community and parked my car on the side of the road. I needed time to think.

Where was I going to go? What was I going to do?

The alcohol was coursing through my veins and clouding my judgment. Lisa knew the consequences when she placed that call, I’d be in a panic with no alternatives. I had to find a way into the community.

I parked my truck in an empty parking lot within walking distance to the community. I walked through the darkened woods to the canal that surrounded the homes. It was thirty yards to the other side, which I knew I could swim easily. The only problem could be the alligators that were hidden by the veil of night. I swam as quickly as I could and tried not to look around. Adrenaline and alcohol were coursing through my veins and giving me stamina and strength beyond my natural abilities.

I climbed out of the water and collapsed on the bank. I stared at the stars, watched them twinkle in the sky, and caught my breath. I thought about my love for Lisa, and her ability to throw me out like a piece of garbage. My blood began to boil with anger, and it propelled my body forward. I walked with a purpose… get my clothes and get the fuck out.

I knocked on the door, but no one answered. The house was dark. I used my key to unlock the front door and enter ‘our’ home. I started thinking about all of the money, sweat, and tears that I poured into our relationship and the home we made together. My anger increased and my mind raced. I threw around some of the things that I had purchased. At what point did I snap? I’m not sure, looking back. I had been so controlled and excluded from other people in my life… she had played the last head game with me.

I couldn’t stop myself, I loved her, and she was throwing me away. I came here to grab my shit for work and leave, but I got wrapped up in my anger. I wanted her to feel my pain and became so consumed that I left behind my keys and identification. I had a long walk and swim back to my truck and time to figure out where to go, but never got the chance.

I heard sirens before my feet ever touched the water. I jumped in and moved with urgency. My hands touched the grass and I hopped out of the water and ran. I hid in the woods and evaded the police for a short time, but they caught up to me.

She reported that I entered the house unlawfully and didn’t live in her home. I was charged with burglary and trespassing. I could not convince anyone that I lived there. The police would not listen to any of my pleas. They said that my name was not on the lease; therefore I wasn’t a resident. I had a key, my mail was sent to the house, and all of my clothes were there… but they said none of it mattered when determining my legal right to enter the property.

I could understand how sometimes things go way beyond what we expected when alcohol factored into the equation. We’ve all had an experience where we’ve woken the next morning horrified by what we had done the night before.