Me: Can I ask you something? If you don’t want to answer I understand.

Kayden: Shoot.

Me: What happened in your relationships to make you swear them off forever?

I hit send and grimaced as I read my question. I didn’t want to offend him or scare him off. The last week I’ve had more fun talking to him than any other person in my life. Today was navy blue day, and offending Kayden would make the day a total loss.

Kayden: It’s not an easy answer. I’ve been divorced for a long time and I finally fell in love again four years ago. We were like oil and water and it ended in disaster. She’s a crazy bitch and I swore off relationships forever.

My heart ached for him, for swearing off love forever. How bad was it? It must have been bad to make him swear off women forever. I’d only chatted with Kayden a week. I shouldn’t be as sad or concerned for him as I felt. I couldn’t rationalize my feelings with reality.

Me: Twice and you’re out?

Kayden: My ex-girlfriend, Lisa (not my ex-wife), ripped my heart out. I don’t think I could survive going through it again.

Me: Heartache can make you feel that way. You’re too young to give up on it, though. And really, you can’t stop love—sometimes it just happens.

Kayden: Not if I have my way. I’m not looking for love and I stay away from any situation where it’s even a possibility.

I furrowed my brows and pouted. Why was I bothered by his answer? Did I think he’d change his mind and that I’d be ‘the one’?

Me: I’m sorry. You’ve just picked the wrong ones. You shouldn’t give up on love, just your taste in women.

Kayden: Maybe, but for now it’s easier for me. I work seven days a week and keep myself busy. I’m happier than I’ve been in years, Sophia.

Me: I don’t believe it, but you can keep lying to yourself, Kayden.

Kayden: Tell me about your past relationships or your current one?

I bit my lower lip, thinking of a way to describe where it had all gone wrong.

Me: They’ve all been passionless, an endless sea of navy blue.

Kayden: Can I ask you a couple questions? It only seems fair.

Palm meet forehead. He’s always answered my questions, how could I say no? I swallowed hard trying to figure a way out of it, but nothing came to me.

Me: Go ahead—fair’s fair.

Kayden: Did they hold you every night and kiss you each day?

I didn’t want to admit to the mediocrity in my love life, but I didn’t have anything to lose either.

Me: No, they didn’t hold me and the kisses were short, sweet, and chaste.

Kayden: There’s problem number one. Do you like to be held?

Me: Yes, but guys just don’t seem into it.

Kayden: Maybe the guys you’ve been with. I fucking love it, one thing I miss not being in a relationship. Okay, so what about kissing? Why only short little kisses? I mean that’s how you kiss a friend.

I tapped my thumbs against my phone thinking of how to answer this.

Me: I love to kiss, just haven’t found someone that brings me to my knees with a kiss. It’s always too sloppy or too neat. I don’t even try to kiss anymore, why be disappointed?

Kayden: Ahhh… Maybe you’re the problem. Maybe you’re a bad kisser.

Me: WTF. No, I’m a damn good kisser, or at least I remember I used to be.

Kayden: I don’t know about that, has to be some reason behind it. I could tell you… if you’re good or not.

I stared at the screen with my mouth open and gulping like a fish out of water. The thought of kissing Kayden sent tingles throughout my body. Do. Not. Geek. Out. My fingers shook as I typed my reply.

Me: Oh, you’re the authority?

Kayden: I’ve never had any complaints and I’m just offering to help you out.

Me: You’re so full of shit.

Kayden: The offer stands, Sophia. When you want me to give you my honest opinion all you have to do it call me. My number is…

I quickly added his number to my contacts, not wanting to take any chance of losing it. He didn’t ask for mine, but if he would’ve asked, I would’ve given it to him.

Consumed. It’s the only word that accurately describes my thoughts over the last three weeks. Kayden has consumed my every thought, my dreams, and my fantasies. I haven’t spent as much time with Bob since I started chatting with Kayden. My conversations, although I’ve never heard his voice, were far more interesting than anything Bob had ever said.