K Darblyne - Up in the Air

The two colleagues made their way past the group of people attending to the dazed woman. The Flight Suited man stopped and gathered up the belongings that had spilled from the handbag, then set it down next to the woman. "Nothing surgical looking for us to worry about. She must have a bad heart," Rene said in passing, and headed for the elevator.

Garrett sat deep in thought, her foot resting on the chair across from her. Even though it was now several weeks out from her injury, the ankle gave her pain at times. The act of elevating her foot during the day was now in her subconscious rather than an afterthought. She looked at her ankle as she tested its range of motion, wincing when she'd gone too far. 'Yeah, Trivoli, that pothole got you good.' Her mind drifted slightly to the image of a petite blonde nurse. 'Just like she did.' The surgeon closed her eyes and sighed.

The end of May was fast approaching and here she was with a stack of letters in her hand, all of them with offers of jobs trying to win her skills for their very own purposes. They all seemed to enjoy boasting that they had the best and brightest of the new rising stars on their payroll. It was their plan to entice the surgeon with offers of money, stock options, cars, houses, and even computer dating arrangements to name a few. She had to laugh at that one and wondered just how much they knew about her, probably more than she knew about herself. 'What do I know about myself?'

It was a puzzle that Garrett had been working on for the past month or two. Each time that she thought she had it all figured out, something else would happen to make her reevaluate what she had deliberated. Her life seemed to be constantly up in the air, as did the people that surrounded her. Each one always looking at her as if this great enlightenment should be taking place any minute. Some even more than others, like Danni. How often had she seen that hopeful look in the blonde's eyes? The surgeon's heart went out to her friend but she wasn't quite sure what it was that woman wanted from her. She was trying hard at this friendship but perhaps there was something more, something that she just wasn’t getting.

The dark-haired woman was finding that her responses to some situations were even more up in the air than anything. She often wondered why Danni’s touch sent shock waves through her as if she’d touched a live wire. No one’s touch had ever done anything to her before. Then there was the time the petite nurse had squeezed by her in the doorway to her room and suddenly Garrett had felt a stimulation surging through her body that to this day just thinking about it still took her breath away. These were all feelings that she’d never had before.

It all made Garrett wonder if there wasn’t some plan that was being put in motion without her knowing about it. Fate had brought her here to Pittsburgh, obviously, for some reason. Now, somewhere in her hands was the fate for the rest of her life. She stared down at the handful of letters and wondered how and when the fates would interact with her again.

"Maybe I should cast my fate to the wind. What do you think, Danni?" She mused aloud unaware that the nurse was standing at the bottom of the stairs within earshot.

Danni noticed the letters in Garrett’s hand and her brow furrowed with consternation. She closed her eyes to stave off the tears. She’d looked at the return addresses on the corners of the envelopes as each one had been delivered to the house with Garrett’s name on them and committed them to memory. Most had been from the West Coast, big name facilities, but several were also from the South. Heck, she’d even received a letter from Hawaii. The nurse bit her lip at the thought of Garrett leaving, being so many miles away. The pain was almost unbearable.

‘A little over a month to go and I could lose her forever. I can’t lay my feelings out on the line now, she’s got too much think about as it is. I pushed her into this friendship. I want her to make this decision on her own. If she loves me, she’ll stay, we’ll work something out.’ Danni was still concerned for her friend’s career. How would her peers, patients and the power structure of the hospital that she’d work in treat a gay surgeon? These were all concerns of the nurse’s in regard to her friend. Danni knew how she would treat her, lovingly, tenderly, with kindness and consideration. The nurse would downright cherish the day that the spark of love ignited into the flame of passion between them, if only it would.

Danni pulled herself together before she spoke. The words were soft and reverent in nature. "I’d rather you let your heart rule your fate than the wind."

Garrett sat up, startled by the voice. Turning her head, she could see that same hopeful look on Danni’s face that had been haunting her for sometime now. "I…I didn’t know that you were up yet."

"I’m sorry, Gar, but I thought you were asking me a question. I didn’t mean to disturb you."

The blonde crossed the room toward the kitchen. The entire time blue eyes were on her, watching each step and savoring it. The surgeon could feel her own pulse quicken when she focused in on the gentle swaying movement of the nurse’s anatomy from side to side with each stride. Garrett closed her eyes as Danni turned the corner into the other room. ‘Was that lawyer right? Gosh, what would Danni say if she knew I was looking at her like that?’

The surgeon hung her head in disbelief. ‘Face it, Trivoli, you’re gay. You always thought that you might be. Hell, you even tried having sex with women when you were in college.’ She breathed in a cleansing breath and opened her eyes. ‘Now what do you do?’

She ran her hand through her hair as her mind brought forth scenarios of Danni interacting with the surgeon, one of denial, one of rejection, one of acceptance and one of avoiding the issue all together. The surgeon looked back down to the handful of job offers. The thought of what being involved in a gay relationship might mean to the nurse with her career and family came running through her mind until it smacked her in the face. ‘Then again, I could always just run.’

The sound of the beeper put an end to the thoughts as Garrett reached for her pager. The message scrolled across the screen, "Call command immediately." And she did.

Coming into the kitchen, Garrett looked sheepishly at the blonde woman as she was coming away from the refrigerator. "Danni, we’ll be driving in separately this morning."

"Huh?" The confusion was evident on her face. "W…why?"

"That was the Command Desk calling for Dr. McMurray. Seems like he has plans for me today. I’m not sure of what it’s all about but he wanted to make sure that you had a way home tonight."

"You don’t think something happened to Nathan or Rene do you?" Danni’s heart was quick to show its concern.

"They didn’t say." Garrett bit at her lip, "I hope not. They just told me to report to McMurray’s office as soon as I can get in."

Danni nodded her head. "I’ll drive myself in. You’d better go get your shower."

"Thanks, I’m kind of curious as to what’s up." She turned and started for the doorway into the living room.

"Gar…" Danni’s voice was soft and quivering, "you’ll let me know what’s up, won’t you?" She watched the surgeon nod in agreement then head toward the shower.

* * *

Garrett stood in the outer office waiting to be seen by Dr. McMurray. It was his summons that had brought her here. Waiting patiently, she moved along from one wall to the other gazing at the photographs of the man’s life and career. It always intrigued her how he had managed to have some pictorial archive from every aspect of his illustrious tenure in the capacity of Chief of Trauma Services. Even the fact that most of the photographs were also taken with his wife in them, kept her more in awe than she cared to openly admit.

‘I bet it’s wonderful to know that someone stands by you no matter what. I can see why he loves his wife so much.’ Garrett moved on to study the next picture in the line up and stood tilting her head from side to side, deciding just what it was about the picture that caught her eye. Absorbed in it, the surgeon hadn’t noticed the opening of the door or the advancement of her mentor into the reception area.

"I was a young snipper when that one was taken." The Ol’ Cutter stood next to her and studied the picture for the zillionth time in his life. "I was fresh out of my transitional year and ready to take on the world of surgery." He chuckled slightly. "I had a new shiny scalpel in my bag, back then we still carried them, and two dollars in my pocket. You would have thought I was a king." McMurray leaned in toward her. "Do you see anything out of place about that picture? Go on," he nudged her, "take a good look at it."

Garrett stepped closer and studied it intently. "Why, isn’t that your wife in the background?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No, technically not. I hadn’t even met her yet, let alone married to her. She just happened to be there, like she was in all of the rest of the pictures. It was like fate had dictated that we would meet and spend the rest of our lives together."

The tall woman stepped back slightly, shaken at what he had said. The surgeon’s mind jumped to the loop of her memory where she had come barreling through the front E.R. doors at the beginning of her shift on that first day, nearly running smack into Danni.

"Do you believe in fate, Dr. Trivoli?"

"I’m beginning to think so, sir. Why do you ask?"

"I think that our fates are planned out for us even before we are born. They write our story in the sands of time and it’s our obligation to live them out here on earth."

"Excuse me, Dr. McMurray," his secretary spoke up. "You have that Board Meeting at eight o’clock, remember?"

"Yes, the Board. Thank you, Stella, for reminding me." His voice was now more business-like than mystical. "Come on into the office Garrett and I’ll tell you why I asked you to stop by."

Garrett followed him in and sat in the chair that he offered to her. She didn’t know why she was there and right now she didn’t really care. All that kept running through her mind was the young "snipper" photograph and the thought of someone else being in control of her life.

The Ol' Cutter rounded his desk and sat down. Leaning forward, he began to speak. "I won't beat around the bush, Trivoli. I don't have time for that. I have a favor to ask of you."

"Anything, sir, just ask." Garrett respected her mentor and would do anything to help him out. "I’m getting kind of bored, not being able to fly and all."

"Good, I was hoping that you would be eager to help. I figured that you’d be pretty tired of doing rounds and the clinic by now. You having any trouble with that ankle…I mean…standing on it for a while?"

"I’m not using the crutches if that’s what you mean." She tested her ankle and smiled. "I think that I could manage a round of surgery or two a day. Of course, that’s without jumping up and down." She teased him to make her point.

"That’s good then. One of our former Chief Resident's is in a bind and needs some surgical bail out." He looked at her coyly. "You wouldn’t mind doing a few emergent appendectomies or anything like that, would you? I mean that if you would, I could always send somebody else…"

The woman's eyes lit up as thoughts of O.R. time was being dangled in front of her. "Me, mind a few appy’s? Never, just tell me where to go and who to talk to. I’m on my way."

"I believe you know him, too. It's David Beckman." McMurray watched the expression on her face turn cold. "Is there some problem between you and he that I'm not aware of?"

"No, sir. No problem professionally." The woman's body tensed, as she was becoming more defensive.

"Personally, then?" He eyed her suspiciously as he watched her eyebrow raise in challenge. "Did something happen the night of the dinner that I don’t know about?"

"No! I…I…it’s nothing. I assure you that nothing will get in my way of treating the patients."

"Alright then, I made arrangements for you to stay at the hospital in a call room of your own. While you are there, all of your meals will be covered by the Department of Surgery."