Garrett sat silently, thinking of what she and Danni had been through. They had served together and learned that they had more to give than they ever expected to, not only to each other but also to their patients as well. Now, their time together would be gone and the learning would have to start all over again in another place, in another world. Each one would need to learn for themselves what it was like without the other close at hand. The surgeon turned her face toward Danni’s and stared into it, memorizing this moment in time. In Garrett’s estimation it had been their finest hour, meeting the challenge of multiple casualties and winning the battle with only a single life taken.


They went through the motions that they had done what seemed like hundreds of times before, and handed off their patient to the awaiting Trauma Team. Now, it was finally over and they left the E.R. to deposit their helmets and put the equipment back in order for the next crew that it would serve.


Cowboy waited until they were done before he approached the women. He’d liked both of them and had only found out earlier that day the choice that the Flight Surgeon had made concerning her future. It pained him to see another take her place but when you were military, you got used to it. They all did and the pilot knew the mixed bag of emotions a reassignment carried with it. Eagerness to start the new job, while still having feeling of sadness at leaving the one you were familiar with. Then he thought of Danni and wondered if she, too, would be leaving to follow the surgeon, after all, a team like that was hard to walk away from.


He held out his hand to the turning woman, "Doc, it’s been a pleasure flying with you. Anytime you want, I’d be honored to have you as a team member."


Garrett smiled and extended her hand to him. "Thanks, Cowboy, you made that easy for us." She looked over to Danni to include her in the thought then felt her hand being taken in his and her body being pulled into a hug with the man. She returned the embrace that felt so much like the ones that her father had given her when she had achieved a milestone in her life.


The petite blonde watched her team members as best she could with the tears that were streaming down her face. ‘Its over, it’s really over.’ She felt at a loss for words and hoped that she would not be called on for any. She closed her eyes and felt the hand on her shoulder guiding her into the group hug. ‘You just can’t leave well enough alone, can you, Cowboy?’ But it was too late and soon all three stood close together, the man’s long reach encircling them both as the sky slowly turned a lighter shade of dark.



* * *

It was early on Sunday morning when Danni rose and started packing for her yearly two weeks of vacation. The destination didn’t matter much because of her fear of flying. The trip was usually somewhere she could travel by any other mode of transportation. This year, her destination was simple. It was the place that she had grown up feeling secure and loved. The cabin that had been her grandfather’s and she knew it well. There, she could let her wounds heal while not worrying about what others would think or say. It would give her the time that she would need to grieve the loss of her loved one.


The tall woman stopped by Danni’s room on her way back from the shower. Knocking first and then opening the door to the muffled response, Garrett watched her friend, first put a stack of clothing into her suitcase and then take it back out again. "Is it alright to come in?"


The blonde nodded and looked away. She knew that the time for good-byes was fast approaching and she was stalling for all she was worth. "Yeah, I just can’t seem to decide if I’ll need some heavier clothing for the evenings or not. It can get pretty chilly up there with nothing to keep you warm." Danni smiled weakly as images of Garrett’s long arms wrapped around the nurse’s body to stave off the chill of the night air. ‘By the gods, I wish you were going with me.’


Garrett held up her finger, "I’ve got the perfect thing." She disappeared from the doorway and returned with an old heavy sweatshirt in hand. The surgeon walked into the room and held it out for Danni to take. "I don’t think I’ll get much use out of it in Arizona. Here, you take it, that way if I ever come back this way, I’ll have something to wear."


The petite woman took it from her friend and held it out to see. "Gar, I can’t take this, it’s from your college days. Don’t you want to keep it for a remembr…"


"I’ll never wear it down there. Besides, it’s a favorite of mine, took me quite a while to get it all broken in and soft. See?" Garrett took the sleeve and rubbed it against Danni’s cheek. "I’d rather see you with it than for it to collect dust in storage."


The nurse realized what her friend was doing and held the garment next to her heart. "Thanks, Gar." She folded it and packed it neatly into the suitcase with the large, faded letters U.S.C. showing. "It will be here if you ever need it." Then clearing her throat, she sniffed back a tear letting the breath she was holding ease out of her mouth. ‘You don’t have to do this yet, Danni, stall for more time.’ "Hey, I made some coffee. Do you want me to get you a cup while you get dressed?"


"Thanks, I’d like that," the tall woman disappeared from the room.


Danni closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth. ‘Control, Danni, keep it in control. She was never yours for the taking. If she doesn’t want to stay on her own, you can’t hold her here.’ She swallowed hard and headed for the door and the pot of coffee downstairs.


As she came to the top of the staircase, Danni heard the familiar beeps of the Flight Surgeon’s pager. Curious, she turned to see Garrett coming through her bedroom door, pulling a T-shirt over her head with one hand. The other hand was holding her cellphone as she did a quick answer or two, flipped it shut, then stuck it in her pocket of her jeans.


"Danni, forget the coffee. I got to get to the hospital. They need another surgeon for a Trauma patient." Garrett walked up to the petite woman and gathered her up in her arms. "Thanks, for everything this last year. I guess you’ll be gone by the time I get home." The surgeon felt the grip of the small woman tighten for a second and then let go. Bending her head down, the surgeon kissed the top of Danni’s head. "I’ll send you my address when I get settled." Her grip released and she was striding toward the door with the same determination that she had when she came into the nurse’s life.


"Good-bye." The words were mere whispers on either side of the door as it shut. The surgeon headed toward her Blazer while a lost soul floundering in the sea of life still stood on the steps to the second floor.


Danni had wanted to say so much more, and there she stood saying nothing, just giving her heart with that short embrace. Slowly sinking down to sit on the top step, the nurse heard the sound of the Blazer as it pulled hurriedly out of its space and took off down the street. There was an empty feeling in her heart as well as the pit of her stomach. Garrett was gone, and now she was left alone. ‘You are such a coward, Bossard. Why didn’t you tell her?’


The tears flowed freely now and the petite woman got up and walked down to the desk in the hall. Taking out a piece of stationery, she picked up the pen and poured her heart out into words that she hoped the surgeon would accept. Done after only a few minutes, Danni folded it noticing the few tearstains that had been left on it. She placed it next to Garrett’s mail for the surgeon to find.


She returned to her room, finished packing, and left. There would be no need to stall for more time now. What she dreaded for so many months was over and done with. It was time for healing, and then she would have to move on with her life, if she could.


Chapter 13

The last week of her Fellowship year slid by before Garrett Trivoli knew it. The days were filled with rounds, answering trauma calls, and occasional cases in the O.R. Things that she loved doing, but somehow now, without the bubbling, blonde nurse, the surgeon was just passing time with. She couldn’t believe how much one person had changed her whole outlook on life.


Often during a free moment, the surgeon thought about how she had left so abruptly, saying good-bye to Danni with nothing more than a hug and a few mumbled words of thanks for all that the nurse had done and been to her. She was ashamed for it, knowing that the blonde-haired nurse with the heart of gold deserved more. The surgeon had found the note placed by her mail slot when she had returned home later that night. It made her think that Danni had more on her mind to say when they parted than she had been allotted time for. Maybe that was why the surgeon kept putting off reading the note that Danni had left, afraid that it would blast her for it. Then Garrett would reason out that Danni could never do anything of the like. In fact, that knowledge made her not want to read the letter at all, at least not while she was still in Pittsburgh. That was why she left it in her mail slot, to be taken out with the last of her belongings.


It was Thursday and nearing the end of the day when Garrett received word during an appendectomy case that Dr. McMurray would like to see her. The surgeon planned to finish her case and once her patient was in the Recovery Room, she’d stop by her mentor’s office. ‘He probably wants to wish me well,’ she reasoned, knowing that he was headed out for a long weekend with his wife. She continued on with her procedure in the sterile environment.



* * *

McMurray was standing, his back to the door when he heard the brisk knocking on it. "Come in," he yelled never taking his eyes from the sights outside of his window. He pondered how to approach the subject that was on his mind. He thought about how well the surgeon performed her job with the petite nurse at her side. They were a crack Flight Team; why wouldn’t that extend to their personal lives? They always seemed to look out for one another, taking on the other’s battle as if it were their own. He could see the love in their eyes when they were together. ‘Just like the love that I still see in my wife’s eyes when she looks at me now.’ The Ol’ Cutter couldn’t understand why the surgeon wanted to leave. She could have it all and keep contact with the friends that she had made. ‘It’s almost like you’re leaving for another reason. Perhaps to distance yourself from someone?’


The door slowly opened, revealing the tall surgeon. "You wanted to see me, sir?" After closing the door behind her, she strode into the room, taking up a position near the desk. She wondered if he had heard her enter, he never moved a muscle, just stood there staring out of the window.


After a few moments, he nodded his head, as if in deep thought, then turned to address her. "Dr. Trivoli…Garrett," his eyes softened when they met hers. "Have you ever felt like you were caught between a rock and a hard place?"


Her eyes narrowed as she regarded his question. "Yes, sir, I have." Her eyebrow rose as she continued. "I’ve found either way you are damned if you do or damned if you don’t." She could sense that something was on his mind. She was pretty sure that whatever it was involved her.


Sighing, he nodded in agreement to her statement, as his fingers absently played with the picture frame on his desk. He made his mind up; he saw no reason to beat around the bush. McMurray had always thought of the skilled surgeon as a straightforward person and would treat her in the same manner. "You’re really set on heading to Arizona aren’t you? I suppose that they offered you everything under the sun and then some."


"It met my needs." The woman answered without batting an eye. ‘Far enough away and with enough work to keep my mind off of Danni.’


He took in a breath. Without allowing her time to answer further, he began speaking again. "You know in another 4 or 5 years, I’ll be looking for someone to take my place as Chairman of Trauma Services. We could’ve illuminated your career during the next few years, making you one of the most renowned authorities on trauma. That way no one would be able to dispute you replacing me when the time came. That is, if you would have chosen to stay here, under me." He looked her straight in the eye and waited for her reply.