She was explaining some of it to John, when he came to talk to her before she made any firm decision to take Teddy away on vacation. He had been busy for days, but he still tried to drop by almost daily. His agents were gone from her home by then, and the police, and most of the servants were gone too. And she and Teddy were looking for an apartment.

“I thought we were going to talk before you made any serious moves.' He'd been in the press constantly since the trial, as the hero who found the Patterson baby. And other than that, he'd had his hands full with the case against Malcolm and Brigitte, and all their minions. There was a total of twenty-two people involved, all charged with various offenses. “And what's this about Vermont?” He looked worried and hurt. He hated the thought of her leaving, even for a few months. He wanted to keep her near him.

“I thought we could use some country air.” Particularly before she went through another month of trial. But this time she was prepared, and John would be with her. But she looked at him cautiously as she said it. She had a lot to say to him. But the right time hadn't come yet.

“Are you really moving?” He eyed her hopefully. In some ways, things had worked out better than he'd planned. She had the boy back, and she was free of Malcolm. The question was, what was he going to do? His eyes met hers now as he asked her if she was really moving out of the Patterson mansion. And she nodded slowly. She wouldn't be sorry to leave this house. The only happy memories she had there were of Teddy, and he was coming with her. “The house is Malcolm's.” Their eyes met and there were a thousand questions he wanted to ask her. “All we need is a small apartment,” she said softly.

“And what else? What do you want from me now?” He knew he had to ask her. He knew what he wanted, but he was afraid he couldn't have it. He wanted her. Forever.

“Your friendship”…your love…your life. But she knew that she had no right to say that.

“Is that all?” His eyes were sad as he asked her. For weeks now he'd been putting off this conversation because he was afraid of what she'd say if he told her just how much he loved her. They had promised each other they'd wait until after the trial, before they let themselves think of what they wanted from each other. And now the time was here, and she had made her decision. She didn't want to be responsible for destroying his marriage. “What do you want from me, Marielle?” he repeated to her. “What will you let me give you?”

“The gift of time. The time to heal, and enjoy my son. But I owe you more than that, John… I owe you everything…” She smiled at him. She owed him still more, and they both knew it, or at least she did. “I owe you not to take anything away from you, not to destroy what you have… to steal you from your home, your wife, your children. What would you really have if you left them?” Her eyes were big and deep and sad as she asked. And he knew she was wiser than he was.

“I'd have you and Teddy…” he said softly.

“And guilt, and regret…and maybe one day you'd hate me for it.”

“I could never hate you.”

Malcolm had hated her eventually, and Charles for a time. She knew what it was like. And she valued John Taylor too much to lose him. She'd loved him more than he knew, more than she was ever going to tell him.

“You're not going to let me run away with you, are you?” He looked at her sadly, touching her hand, and wanting to kiss her. It was part of why she wanted to go away, to get away from him and how much she loved him, but she didn't tell him. She knew she loved him too much to be near him and not to get involved with him, and she cared too much about him to interfere with his marriage, or his children.

She whispered to him gently as he took her in his arms. “You need them. And they need you.” But so did she, and other than Teddy, she had no one.

“I need you too,” he said urgently. He had never known anyone like her, and for a mad moment he had told himself that he could make her go away with him. He could force her to if he had to, but as he looked at her, he knew he wouldn't.

She had a right to what she wanted. A time of solitude and peace and healing. And maybe she was even right about Debbie. “I don't want to lose you, Marielle,” or what they had had, the promise of so much more to come, and now that promise was over.

“You won't lose me. I'll always be here.” Her eyes tortured him with their tenderness and their wisdom.

“And when you're not there anymore? When you belong to someone else?” he said sadly, because he knew that day would come, better than she did. Because she deserved it, more than anyone, and much more than he did.

“We'll still be friends. I told you…you won't ever lose me.” And then she smiled again, “Unless you want to.” She kissed him gently on the lips then and he held her close, and they talked for a long time, and finally, hating to go, he left her and went home, wondering if she was very wise or very foolish. It would be years before they'd know. And yet he had always known that their worlds were just too different. It was something she had never acknowledged, but he knew he had to.

He felt lonely without her for days, and it amused him at times to take it out on suspects in the Patterson interrogations. But she felt lonely without him too. It wasn't as though she couldn't call. She knew she could. But for his sake, she was trying not to. And she was busy getting ready for the move to Vermont with Teddy. They had finally rented a house, sight unseen, and there were supposedly cows and chickens and a sheepdog. And Teddy looked more like himself again at last. He had gained weight, and he looked healthy and happy and clean, and most of the brown dye had come out of his hair, except in a few spots, but he still got anxious at night, and he had terrible nightmares. He was sleeping in Marielle's bed, and she took care of him herself. Haverford was the only one left and he was leaving them for good in a few days, and he was enjoying helping her with Teddy.

In fact, he was helping Teddy to a bowl of ice cream when Charles came to say good-bye to her and Teddy. He was going back to Europe in the morning.

“Spain again?” she asked as he followed her into the kitchen.

“Not now.” He was thinking of going to England to enlist, but after all that had happened, he knew he wasn't ready and he wanted to go back to Paris before he went to war again. “We're going to the South of France first, just for the summer.” He blushed, as though embarrassed by the indulgence, but they both knew that he had earned it. But something he had said amused Marielle, and she couldn't resist teasing him, as Teddy offered him part of the huge bowl of chocolate ice cream as they stood in the Patterson kitchen. He and the boy were almost friends, although Teddy was still confused about how he knew his mother.

“We?” she asked. “Are you taking a friend?” But she already suspected. She had seen them out walking together more than once, and Marielle was pleased. Perhaps more than anyone, they deserved it.

“All right, all right,” he laughed. He knew that she had already guessed. He knew how wise she was, and the odd thing was, he still loved her.

“Anyone I know?” After so many years apart, it was odd to be so friendly again, except she knew now that they would never really be apart again. Suddenly, it was all so different.

“I'm taking Bea to Paris with me.”

“You should. You owe her at least that,” Marielle teased, and he laughed.

“She was awfully good to me during the trial.” And even better to him since then. He stayed for a little while, and Marielle kissed him when he left, but he caused her no pain and she wished him well. She was free of him now. But she still loved him.

The one she didn't love was Malcolm. She feared what would happen after his trial. Somehow, she knew that, because of his connections, if he was hurt at all,- it wouldn't be for long, and she wanted to be as far away from him as she could be. She didn't want him anywhere near Teddy. But John Taylor had promised her unlimited protection. But she knew that she couldn't run away forever either. At some point, she would have to stand and face him. But the FBI had sworn that Malcolm would never again take Teddy. He had pushed her for so long, had been so cruel, and had been so coldhearted in the terrible things he had done that he would even be denied visitation.

Sometimes she wondered if she would ever love and trust anyone again, except Teddy. He was everything that mattered. He was the joy and the life and the spirit that she lived for.

The day before they left for Vermont, she packed the rest of her things. She could hardly wait to leave Malcolm's home. They were taking all of their things with them. She had told Malcolm the house would be vacant when he got back with Brigitte. And Marielle was more than willing to stay at a hotel with Teddy. For her, the house was now haunted and she didn't want to be there.

It had been difficult explaining it to Teddy. He still didn't know that it was his father who had had him kidnapped. And instinctively, he had sensed something was wrong, and he had heard whispers here and there, but he was still so young, he didn't really understand it. Marielle had told him that Malcolm was away for a long, long time, and it was unlikely they would see him. Teddy was surprised, but not sad, and he seemed happy just being with his mother.

The doorbell rang the night before they left, and Haverford came to tell her it was Tom Armour. She was surprised he had come to see her. Charles was gone by then, and she hadn't seen Tom since the trial, but he had heard from John Taylor that she was leaving.

She walked slowly down the stairs to meet him. And he looked very handsome and young, and a little ill at ease as he stood there. Marielle was friendly and warm, as she greeted him, acting as though his visit had been expected.

“I heard in court today that you're leaving,” he said awkwardly, as she shook his hand, and Haverford disappeared to make coffee. He had been meaning to come and see her for a while, but he'd been putting it off, till he could get up his courage. He'd wanted to come and say good-bye to her himself. He had wanted to say something to her ever since the end of the trial, and with everything that had happened, he had never had the chance to. “You're going to Vermont?” That was all that Taylor had told him, but his eyes told their own tale, and for an instant, Tom had wondered what had happened.

She nodded with a smile, as they sat down in the library, where, in recent months, so much had happened. She wondered why he had come by. But she was happy to see him. He had done a good job for Charles, and she had always liked him. He had been decent to her when she was on the stand, and she had always sensed his strength and innate kindness.

“Teddy and I need to get away,” she explained, as Haverford appeared with the coffee, and then disappeared just as quickly.

“How is he now?” He inquired about the boy, as he looked around. It was a magnificent home, and he couldn't help wondering if she was sorry to leave it. But she smiled as she watched his face. She knew what he was thinking, and she had no regrets. She couldn't wait to leave now.

“He's fine. He still has nightmares sometimes, and he doesn't like to talk about what happened.”

“Understandably.” They both knew it was going to mark him forever. And he still had no idea that the kidnapping had been masterminded by his father. Marielle was hoping she wouldn't have to tell him for years, which Tom thought was incredibly decent of her, but from what he'd seen of her during the trial, it didn't surprise him.

She seemed peaceful now, very calm and subdued, and her eyes were serious, but in a quiet way, she looked happy.

“And you?” he asked gently, as he looked at her. “You're all right? No more headaches?”

She smiled in answer. She hadn't had one since the trial. For the first time in years, she felt totally healthy. It was as though she had survived some terrible test, and having come through it the ghosts had finally been laid to rest, and she was much stronger. “I'm fine.” She wanted to thank him for his kindness during the trial, but she wasn't quite sure how to do it, and she tried not to notice how handsome he looked in white slacks, a blazer, and red tie, but he was a good-looking man, and she blushed as she turned away to straighten a book on the table.

“Marielle…” He knew it would have to come from him. But he didn't want her to leave town before he had spoken to her. “I…I'd like to call you when you're in Vermont…” She looked at him with wide eyes, surprised by what he had said, and suddenly wondering if he was representing Malcolm. But he saw the look in her eyes and he gently touched her hand to reassure her. “I'm not sure I'm making myself clear…I'm making a terrible botch of this.” He suddenly looked embarrassed and boyish, and they both felt like two children. “It's been a long time since I've done anything like this.” It had been a long time since he'd met anyone even remotely like her. She reminded him so much of his late wife. And yet, she was also very different. Marielle had more integrity than any woman he'd ever known, more strength, more fortitude, possibly more kindness. And she hadn't been very lucky in the last ten years. When she came back from Vermont, he was hoping to change that. “Will you have a phone in Vermont?” He was still stumbling around, trying to talk to her about the future, and suddenly Marielle laughed. She thought she understood, but it was difficult to believe it. He had always been so businesslike, so cool, and yet beneath the serious air ran powerful emotions.