Ella Frank - Veiled Innocence

“This picture isn’t important,” he explains and throws it on the floor. He’s more animated than I’ve ever seen him. “Yet, it gets more of a reaction out of you than I’ve seen in days. You, Addy! You are what’s important. Not what happened back then. Yesterday is done. What are you going to do with today?”

My eyes focus on him, and I feel the urgency building. There’s a craving he’s ignited inside of me.

“I don’t want to be in here anymore.”

“I know. So what are you going to do about it?”

The answer is obvious. It’s been there all along. “I’m going to fight.”

A grin appears on Doc’s face. “And?”

I grin back at him. “I’m going to win.”

* * *

Past…

“Dude, get your hands off her!”

Fuck, was the only word coming to mind as Brandon sized up the situation.

“Hey, he wasn’t doing—”

“He was grabbing you, Addy,” he accused.

Brandon was right, I had been grabbing her, and I wanted to grab her again. Instead, I fell into my self-righteous teacher mode. What a fucking joke.

“Don’t you need to go to lunch?”

“No, I need to report your ass. Why the fuck are you touching her anyway?”

“Brandon!” Addison shouted, and I could tell by the way she had her arms wrapped around her waist that she was trying to hold herself together. I knew that, because I was scrambling to do the same.

“What? No teacher is supposed to lay a hand on a student. And they certainly shouldn’t be grabbing one. Wasn’t that why I was suspended?” he asked, getting up in my face.

I took a step back and reminded myself that this was a student, not someone I could punch in the jaw and demand he shut the fuck up.

“Mr. Williams, I think you’re mistaken with what you saw.”

What am I saying? I couldn’t believe I was stooping this fucking low.

“Am I?”

“Yes, you are. What the hell is the matter with you?” I questioned.

Sure, compound the issue by being a dick—my father would be so proud.

“I think you know,” he inferred, looking from me to Addison who, when I glanced over at her, seemed wounded and broken—once again damaged and this time by me.

There was nothing I could do about that now, I was in too deep and couldn’t stop—not after what Brandon had seen.

“I’m getting sick of your mouth. I think you should start walking before you say something you’ll regret.”

“That I regret?” He mocked. “I don’t think so.”

“Brandon, just go. You’re making this worse,” Addison pleaded, drawing our eyes back to her.

“What am I making worse, Addy? Jess says she left you in the parking lot last week and you were fine, but she saw him talking to you before she drove away. Now there’s a rumor you got your busted lip that same day. It wasn’t Jess, so who was it, huh? Mr. McKendrick?”

That was not an accusation I’d expected, and it almost knocked me off my feet. I tried to wrap my mind around what he’d just hurled at me.

“Are you implying that I hit Addison? Because if you are, that is one hell of an allegation.”

“Well, you have to admit, it doesn’t look so good does it, sir? Do you like to touch all of your students?”

“What the fuck?” Addison sputtered, sounding as perplexed as I was.

“Shut up, Addy,” Brandon ordered, pointing a finger at her. I wanted to hit him, just for that.

“Alright, that’s it! I’ve had it.”

“Oh, yeah?” he challenged, and I could feel my anger reaching its boiling point. I clenched my fists by my sides and willed myself to calm the fuck down.

“Yes. You need to leave or we’re going to the front office right now, where you can kiss your track scholarship good-bye.”

That’s when Brandon pulled his arm back, balled his hand into a fist and launched it forward, punching me in the side of my face. I grabbed my jaw and pushed my tongue to the inside of my cheek, tasting blood.

“Brandon Williams!”

Oh fantastic, just what I fucking needed—Helene to join this circus.

Glaring at my attacker, my student, I warned, “I suggest you back up, before I really lose my temper.”

He seemed to realize what he’d just done because he slowly backed away and shook out his fingers.

“You’re about to visit with Principal Thomas and you can explain to him why I have a bleeding lip. You do know that’s cause for expulsion, yes?”

“What on earth is going on here?” Helene demanded of the three of us, and after what Addison had been alluding to earlier, I had to wonder what my fellow employee was thinking.

Before Brandon had a chance to speak, I made sure to pin him with an unrelenting stare and invited, “Do you want to tell her, or should I?”

He didn’t bother answering as he turned on Addison, who seemed to have shrunk into the wall. Her head was down, her shoulders were shaking, and her fingers were white as she dug them into her sides.

I wanted to reach out and comfort her, but that was what got us in this situation in the first place. Why I wanted to yell at Helene for doing what I couldn’t made absolutely no sense at all.

She placed a hand on Addison’s shoulder and I’d never seen such a violent reaction from her. Addison pulled away as if Helene would infect her and aimed an icy look her way.

“Addy? Are you okay?” Helene urged gently.

Addison pivoted toward me, and her eyes took on a look I hadn’t seen since the night by her brother’s grave.

My Addison was gone, and as she fell apart in front of me, she raised her arm and pressed her watch to her ear as a tear slipped free and rolled down her cheek.

The ticking was back.

We were over.

Time was no longer standing still.

Past…

God, how long would this take?

I’d just given my false recap of what happened between Brandon and me, and as predicted, he would be expelled. He’d have to finish the school year at a different high school.

“Mr. McKendrick, if that’s all, you may leave. We’ll take it from here.”

I stood, pushing the chair back and then looked at the boy—and that’s what he was, just a boy—slumped down in his seat. Brandon glared at me, and I felt the full weight of my negligence.

This boy had trusted me—I’d let him down.

“I hope things turn around for you, Mr. Williams.”

I offered my hand to him, but instead of taking it, his eyes took on a hard glint—I’d put that there. No, he’d already had an edge. I’d just sharpened it.

Raising his gaze from my hand, his top lip curled as he told me, “You better go and find Anne.”

Anne? What was he...? And then I remembered my lesson on King Henry’s wives.

… Many believe he chased Anne and was drawn to her because she resisted his attempts…

He didn’t know how wrong he was. I hadn’t chased Addison, but I was about to. I needed to find her.

I left the office without saying another word. My lip was throbbing and my head was starting to pound but that didn’t stop me from heading straight for the parking lot.

Addison couldn’t leave because if she did, her parents would be called, and she wouldn’t want that. I looked at my watch and knew I had the period free, so I headed across the track and through the gate. I spotted her car in the lot and made my way over.

I peered through the window and saw nothing. It was empty.

Straightening, I surveyed the lot. There was no one around. I was about to go and check inside, when I spotted something.

Over by my truck, I saw white material peeking out from underneath and knew immediately that it was her. I jogged over to where I’d parked and rounded the tail of my truck bed—and there she was. Sitting up against the huge tire on the driver’s side, she seemed so small and fragile.

As the loose gravel crunched under my shoes, she turned to see me walking toward her. She had her knees bent and pulled into her chest with her arms wrapped around them.

“Addison,” I whispered softly.

She looked like a trapped animal. Trapped inside her mind.

Her hair was a mess, probably from dragging her hands through it, and I could see her fingers tapping on her knee—one, two, three. One, two, three.

I kept my distance and crouched down until we were on the same level. “Addison.”

She raised her head and I had to clasp my hands in my lap so I wouldn’t follow my instinct to reach out and touch.

“Talk to me,” I coaxed gently.

Nothing. I got nothing from her. She’d withdrawn inside herself.

Pulling my legs out from under me, I planted my ass firmly on the ground and placed a foot on either side of her, careful not to touch.

“What’s going on? I thought—”

“What?” her voice was faint when she finally spoke up. Her eyes held me in place and for once, I felt at a loss for words. “What did you think?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I thought I could make you feel better.”

She brought an arm up and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

“Yeah, let’s make sure I’m better. God, now you’re thinking just like them.”

Before I knew what I was doing, I crawled over until I was kneeling by her side.

“No. I’m nothing like them,” I told her emphatically. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

How could I have ever thought she was what was wrong in my life? She was the only thing that made any sense, and when she was broken and hurting, so was I.

My dad was right—if I wanted her heart, I had to take it. If I was doing this out of love, it was beyond good and evil.

“Addison.”

She continued staring past my shoulder, so I took her chin in my hand and made her look at me.

“Addison, look at me.” As her eyes focused on mine, I repeated the same words she’d once told me. “Look at all of me.”

Her hand cupped my throbbing cheek, and as her thumb gently swept over the stubble and bruise I knew was forming, fresh tears welled in her eyes. I released her chin and brushed my hand over her hair, pushing it back from her face.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, hmm?”

With a shaky breath, she finally admitted, “I’m broken.”

I shook my head. “No, Addison. Just perfectly imperfect. None of us are perfect.”

Her bottom lip jutted out, and as tears ran down her cheeks, I couldn’t help myself, I leaned forward and put my lips to them. Her cheek was cool and the tears warm as I lifted my mouth. I brushed my nose with hers and whispered what I could no longer deny. “I love you.”

She pressed her forehead to mine and replied so softly I almost missed it, “You shouldn’t.”

Her answer made my heart ache and my head swirl.

I knew she was right, it didn’t make any sense. I shouldn’t love her. It couldn’t end well, and I’d already lost the only other person who meant anything to me. This was just setting myself up for heartbreak. But as I took this broken girl in my arms and she crawled up into my lap, there was no way I could deny she had my heart firmly in her hands.

* * *

Present…

“I thought I might find you here.”

I turn to see Doc stepping into the library where I’m studying.

“Yeah, I needed to find a poet for the English portion of the test.”

“Oh,” Doc says as he pulls out the chair beside me and sits down. “Who did you decide on?”

I slide the book I’m reading over to him.

“Aleksandr Pushkin.”

“He’s Russian.”

“I never would have guessed,” Doc replies dryly. “Which poem? He has so many.”

I wait until he looks up from the page before I tell him, “I chose ‘Farewell.’ It seemed fitting.”

Doc returns his attention to the book and locates the poem. Before he has a chance to say anything, I clearly recite Pushkin’s words. I’m finally at peace with the decision to fight, move on, and perhaps even let go.

“It’s the last time, when I dare

To cradle your image in my mind…”

Doc closes the book as I continue the poem word for word, and when I finish, he says softly, “That’s beautiful, Addy. I’m proud of you. It is time to say farewell to the past. I’m glad you recognize that. Keep up the good work here. The big test is just around the corner.”