Lucy Gordon - Veretti’s Dark Vengeance

Salvatore held her in silence, but inwardly he was groaning. He wanted to beg her to stop because he couldn’t stand any more of such a nightmarish story. But in his heart he knew that the real nightmare was the way he’d lined himself up with all the others.

He was as bad as any of them; no, worse, for he’d always sensed something wrong. Instinct had told him from the first that she didn’t quite fit his image of the rapacious harlot, yet he’d blinded himself to whatever didn’t suit him. As her power over him had grown so had his anger at her for possessing such power. When he’d felt his heart touched he’d moved fast to shut it down.

‘And then there was Antonio,’ Helena said. ‘He was facing the end of his life alone, and all he asked of me was to be with him. He knew I had money of my own because he’d safeguarded it for me, so he never thought I was marrying his wealth.’

‘Don’t,’ Salvatore groaned.

‘No, I wasn’t aiming that at you. I’m just saying that he knew he could trust me, and that helped our whole relationship. I started out being fond of him, and we grew closer and closer. It was me he wanted-not my body, me! He was the only man I could ever say that about.’

Not any longer, he thought, but uncharacteristically lacked the confidence to say it.

‘He took such wonderful care of me,’ she mused.

‘You should have told me long ago,’ he murmured. ‘But then, I didn’t ask, did I? I never said one word that might have encouraged you to open yourself up to me as a person. I only thought about how madly I wanted you, and how you were leading me a merry dance.’

‘I meant to,’ she said. ‘After that first day I was so angry at the way you instinctively thought the worst of me. It never crossed your mind that I might have been sincerely fond of Antonio. I soon discovered that you knew nothing about love because you don’t believe in it.’

Suddenly she moved away slightly and turned, propping herself up on one elbow and surveying his face. ‘Shall I tell you something that’ll really annoy you?’

‘Anything that gives you pleasure,’ he said wryly.

‘I came to Venice with the fixed intention of selling you Larezzo. Antonio had told me that you’d probably make an offer and he was glad because it would give me some more financial security.’

She stopped, for Salvatore had covered his eyes and groaned.

‘And I drove you into opposing me by the way I behaved,’ he said at last. ‘I’m to blame for everything.’

‘No.’ She stroked his hair. ‘After what your grandmother told me I guess a lot of it was inevitable.’

He stared. ‘What did she tell you?’

‘About your father, and how he broke your mother’s heart with his other women.’

After a moment Salvatore asked quietly, ‘Is that all she told you?’

‘Only that your mother died suddenly.’

He sighed. ‘There’s a bit more to it than that.’

When he fell silent she moved closer and touched his face gently. ‘Do you want to tell me?’

‘Did my grandmother say that he brought his women home, and that they lived with us in a special part of the house where none of us were supposed to go?’

‘Yes, she said that.’

‘My mother encountered them sometimes. Then she’d retreat to her room and I’d hear her weeping. If I tried the door it was always locked. I wanted to comfort her, but she wouldn’t let me. I know now that there was no comfort anyone could have given her.

‘There was one woman whom my mother saw often because she wandered through the house whenever she wanted. She did it deliberately, I have no doubt of that. She wanted to be seen. She was letting everyone know that she considered herself the future mistress of the house, and my mother understood that message.

‘Then one night I stood outside her room, listening for her weeping, but it didn’t come. She never made a sound again. She’d taken her own life.

‘Since then I’ve always wondered, if I’d been more suspicious of the silence, if I’d forced the door open, would I have been in time to save her? I’ll never know.’

She was too shocked to utter comforting words where no comfort was possible. She only held him tight, stroking his head as tenderly as a mother with a child, and neither spoke for a long time.

‘How old were you when that happened?’ she whispered at last.

‘Fifteen.’

‘Sweet heaven!’

‘I grew up hating the idea of love because I’d seen what it could do. All women except my mother were monsters. It was safer to believe that. I resented you because you gave me thoughts I was ashamed of. I wanted you so badly that I’d forget everything else. All the things that had seemed important before were pushed aside, including my responsibilities to other people. In other words, I started acting like my father. I hated myself for that, and I almost hated you. But that was then. Not now.’

‘And now?’ she asked, breathless with hope.

‘Now I can say to you what I swear I’ve never said to any other woman: I love you. I thought I’d never say those words because I was sure they’d never mean anything to me. And I was content with that. I didn’t want to know. The world was safer without love. I was safer, and now I think I’ve always been seeking that safety, ever since the night I stood outside my mother’s silent room, and the world disintegrated.’

She almost said, ‘Safety-you?’ The mere thought of this powerful man knowing fear and uncertainty was incongruous. But she understood him now. He’d allowed her to see through the armour he wore against the rest of the world, into the wilderness, the place where that shattered fifteen-year-old boy still lived, cowering, begging for it not to be true.

She tightened her arms lovingly about him.

‘I didn’t see it then,’ he continued, ‘but I see it now. With you I found another world, one where there was love but no safety, and I think that’s why I was against you from the start.’

He gave a wry, self-mocking smile as he said, ‘I was afraid. That’s another thing I’ve never said before, but I can say it now. You were the unknown, and I didn’t have the courage to face it, until you took my hand and showed me the way. I can’t promise you an easy love, because it’s so new to me that I’m clumsy and ignorant. But I can promise you a faithful love, for all my life, and yours.’

She couldn’t speak. Tears stung her eyes.

‘And if you can’t love me in return,’ he said huskily, ‘then-’ a tremor went through him ‘-then I guess I’ll just have to be patient and persuade you slowly.’

‘No need,’ she assured him. ‘You and I have played games about this from the start, but the time for games is over. I love you-and I’ll always love you, through good times and bad. And there will be bad times, I know that. But they’ll pass as long as we have each other.’

He nodded, stroking her face gently, whispering, ‘How can you possibly love me?’

‘I can’t imagine. It defies explanation, but the best things usually do.’

‘After all I’ve done, I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me.’

‘Let me show you,’ she said.

This loving was different from all others, slow and gentle, their eyes meeting constantly, but also their hearts and minds. With tender gestures she reassured him, reaching out to the heart that he’d revealed to her and to nobody else in the world.

She knew that if she betrayed his trust she would destroy him. From now on his fate was in her hands and she would defend him with all the strength of her love.

Love. For the first time the word did not sound strange.

Salvatore awoke to find himself in darkness and her gone from his arms. For a moment he wanted to cry out with desolation, but then he saw her standing naked at the window, looking out over the lagoon, to where Venice could just be seen in the distance. So near, and so far.

‘I thought you’d gone away from me,’ he murmured, coming up behind her, and nuzzling her neck. ‘You could have made that phone call.’

‘I did. I found my phone and called my friends in England to say that I missed the plane but there was nothing to worry about. I’ll have to go over for a week to fulfil my contract, but I’ll be back soon.’

‘With a fortune to spend on Larezzo?’

‘That’s right.’

‘Since we’re talking business, I have a proposition for you. I’ll make you an interest-free loan, then you’ll have all the cash you need to invest.’

‘Interest-free, huh? And what do you get in return?’

‘You-as my wife. Then I can keep an eye on what sharp practices you’re up to.’

‘But of course. No business deal can succeed without a binding contract.’

‘It’s a pleasure to find a woman who understands business.’

‘You realise that where that’s concerned I’ll still fight you?’ she said.

‘I’d expect nothing else.’

‘No holds barred.’

‘Exactly,’ he agreed. ‘And let’s be frank, it won’t just be business where no holds are barred. This isn’t going to be a peaceful marriage.’

‘So I should hope.’

For a long time after that they didn’t move, but stood contentedly leaning against each other.

Strangely the thought of Antonio came to her now. Or perhaps it wasn’t so strange, for he’d promised to take care of her, and by throwing her together with Salvatore he’d done it very thoroughly.

Not that he could have known this would happen. Of course he couldn’t.

But somewhere in the distance she imagined she could hear his laughter, and his kindly, mocking voice saying, ‘Fooled you, cara.’

And when she looked across the lagoon the sun was just breaking out, heralding the glorious new day.

Lucy Gordon cut her writing teeth on magazine journalism, interviewing many of the world’s most interesting men, including Warren Beatty, Richard Chamberlain, Sir Roger Moore, Sir Alec Guinness, and Sir John Gielgud. She also camped out with lions in Africa and had many other unusual experiences which have often provided the background for her books. She is married to a Venetian, whom she met while on holiday in Venice. They got engaged within two days.