There was so much to talk about. Albert loved music. We would sing together. Duets were so pleasurable. Dash—dear, discriminating Dashy—selected Albert for his special attention and Albert played with him enchantingly. Everything Albert did was done with such grace. He had brought his greyhound with him. Its name was Eos.

He said, “We could not be parted.”

Oh, what feeling! How I understood his love for Eos. It was exactly like that which I had for dear Dash.

I was looking forward to the next day and could hardly sleep at all. I got up early and wrote a letter to Uncle Leopold. I owed him that for sending me this most superb of cousins.

“Ernest is grown quite handsome,” I wrote. “Albert's beauty is more striking and he is so amiable and unaffected … in short he is very fascinating …”

I could have gone on writing of Albert's perfections but I forced myself to stop.

I smiled as I sealed the letter. Uncle Leopold would be very pleased indeed.

That day we went riding. It was so exciting. I knew that I looked my best in the saddle. Then people could not see how short I was. I rode well and my riding clothes, I believe, became me more than any other except ball gowns and such. I loved my horses and they reciprocated my affection, so we got on well together.

I rode between the two princes, but I was hardly aware of Ernest, although he was very charming, of course. Lord Melbourne was of the party, and on this occasion, instead of riding beside me, he was a little way behind.

Soon I would talk to him alone. I would discuss with him my opinion of Albert … of both princes… but just for a while I wanted to keep my thoughts to myself. I was bemused and yet certain. There would never be anyone quite so perfect as Albert. I had no doubt of it. Uncle Leopold was so clever; he had known who would be just the right one for me.

Albert and his brother spoke English well. Clever Uncle Leopold had insisted on their being proficient in that language. Of course they had German accents but that did not prevent their being understood perfectly.

We talked of many things during that ride but chiefly of music. Albert had composed a little. How clever of him! It was just what I would have expected. And I was longing to hear some of his very own music. He also spoke most lovingly of Rosenau, the place where he had been born, and which had been the home he loved best, which showed genuine sentiment and sensitivity.

He made me long to see it.

I returned to the castle more in love than ever. There I had my first talk, after the arrival of the cousins, with Lord Melbourne.

I said, “I want to tell you what I think of my cousins.”

Lord Melbourne smiled at me very tenderly. “I can make a good guess,” he said. “Your Majesty was never one to conceal her feelings.”

“Do you think Albert is handsome?”

“Undoubtedly. Very handsome. And his brother has fine dark eyes.”

“Albert's are blue.”

“That is absolutely true.”

“And he is much more handsome than his brother. At least I think so.”

“I did note Your Majesty's opinion. I think Ernest is a very clever young man from what I have been able to observe so far.”

“Oh, but not as clever as Albert.”

“I should think Ernest possibly has the better brain.”

I turned on him angrily and saw the glint in his eyes. He was teasing me, of course. But he really should not do so on such a serious matter.

“I see that Your Majesty has changed her mind a little regarding marriage,” he said.

I smiled at him. “Yes, dear Lord M, I have.”

He nodded. “That was my inference. I daresay you will not wish to delay the marriage.”

“I see no reason for delay. Do you?”

“None whatever. As Your Majesty has made up her mind and is so well satisfied, the sooner the marriage takes place the better. I take it the Prince will be of the same mind as ourselves.”

I was silent and Lord Melbourne went on, “Oh, is he not yet aware of his happy fate?”

“It presents a certain difficulty. Albert would never act rashly, nor would he disregard etiquette.”

“But of course Your Majesty does not always follow it…if I may be so bold as to say so.”

“You have never hesitated to say what you mean, my dear Lord M. That is why our association has been of such value to me.”

He bowed his head slightly. “You will agree that there will have to be a proposal.”

“I see you understand the difficulty.”

“Indeed I do, and I am sure Your Majesty will overcome it. Then we shall have a royal wedding. That is just what is needed now. The people will love it.”

“They are not exactly in love with me just now.”

“All the world is in love with a bride…particularly a royal one. Let us have a wedding and you will see.”

“I no longer feel the same about the people. I shall never forget how cruel they were to me… and they threw a stone at my carriage.”

“They will throw kisses and cheers on your wedding day.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

I smiled at him lovingly. What a comfort he was! But he was looking a little tired and I had not realized how old he looked. Of course he was old.

I suppose I was comparing him with Albert and his radiant youth and beauty.

Dear Lord M! I should always love him and cherish the memory of those years when we had been together. But already I was moving away from him. I should have another with whom I would discuss my difficulties, another who would share my personal burdens as well as those of state.

How wonderful it was to be in love! And what a change it was going to make.


* * *

I HAD MADE up my mind. There was one thing to do. Albert dared not ask me to marry him because I was a queen and he was only a prince of a minor dukedom … and not even his father's eldest son. I must propose to him.

It was the twelfth of October. Another memorable day. We had been out hunting and when we came back to the castle I asked him to come into the Blue Closet. He came in expectantly. He must have guessed what was going to happen.

I said to him, “Albert, I think you must be aware of the reason for my asking you to come. It would make me very happy if you would consent to what I wish, and I believe you do… and that is for us to marry.”

Dear Albert! His joy was intense; and there was relief in it too. Uncle Leopold had been right when he had said Albert was uncertain of me.

Well, he need be so no longer.

Albert forgot his English then and I was glad. He told me in German how happy he was, and that above all things he wanted to spend his life with me.

We embraced with the utmost tenderness.

I had never been so happy in the whole of my life, and when we left the Blue Closet, I was betrothed to Albert.


* * *

WHAT GLORIOUS DAYS they were! We rode together, walked, sang, and danced. Our voices blended perfectly and I loved to sing those songs—all with such beautiful sentiments—which Albert had composed himself. I could see that we were going to be very happy together. We discussed the wedding which could not take place immediately, but we thought it might do so early in the New Year. Albert had to return with his brother to Saxe-Coburg, and because of the importance of a marriage like ours there was a great deal to be settled before the actual ceremony.

Albert was, of course, more restrained than I, but I felt no inclination to pretend that I felt anything but love for this supreme being. I would come up behind him when he was sitting and kiss the top of his head; and when we parted call him back for one more kiss. My love seemed to be overflowing and I saw no reason for stemming it.

Lehzen thought I was too effusive. Poor Lehzen! Was she a little jealous? I often caught a half-smiling look in Lord Melbourne's eyes, and I knew he was a little amused by my exuberance.

Well, I was as I was, and it was not in my nature to hide my feelings. I think Albert, at times, was faintly embarrassed—when we were with others—at my displays of affection. Dear Albert, he was a little bemused by his good fortune, I think. I was three months older than he was and a queen. My rank must have been the reason why I behaved naturally and did not have to worry so much about what people were thinking of me. My uncles had done what they liked and what was natural to them; that was why some of them had been called eccentric. I was not exactly that. I merely betrayed my feelings—and I could see no wrong in doing that.

There came the sad day when Albert had to say goodbye.

“It will not be for long,” I assured him. “Then we shall be together for the rest of our lives.”

The days seemed flat without him; but there was so much to do for the wedding.

Lord Melbourne said he would draw up a Declaration for me to read to the Privy Council, so that they could all be told formally of my intentions.

It was rather comforting to be sitting with Lord Melbourne in the Blue Closet, which would never be the same again because within its walls I had proposed to Albert.

I could not resist telling Lord Melbourne about it and how it had been a rather embarrassing thing to do. “But poor Albert would never have proposed to me. Someone had to do it.”

“I told you you would, did I not?”

“Oh yes, you did. There may be other occasions when similar situations arise. Albert will have to remember that I am the Queen.”

Lord Melbourne gave me one of those wry side glances and said, “I am sure Albert will remember that because he will not be allowed to forget.”

“There are times, Lord M,” I said, “when I feel you do not have enough appreciation for Albert.”

Lord Melbourne was silent and I stamped my foot and insisted, “Am I right, Lord Melbourne?”

“Dare I tell Your Majesty that I think he is very young and perhaps inexperienced.”

“Everyone is inexperienced at first. Albert will support me with all his might. He is so good.”

“Oh yes, he is indeed a very virtuous young man.”

“And we shall have you at hand, my dearest Lord M.”

Then he gave me that sad look which meant that he was thinking of the Tories.

“Dear Lord M,” I said, “I am afraid I have been absentminded, a little gruffish, lately.”

He smiled at me sweetly. “It is natural,” he said.

“I have a little miniature that Ross did of Albert. I am having it put into a bracelet, which I shall wear always.”

“I hope it is a good likeness.”

“It does not do him justice. I remember what you said about Ross's liking to make people worse because it was such fun. I don't think it is fun at all. I think it is rather silly. But nobody could have painted a picture of Albert that would have been half good enough.”

He regarded me with his head on one side and with that tenderness that always moved me. Dear Lord Melbourne! Although I loved Albert, there would always be a place in my heart for my Prime Minister.


* * *

HOW DELIGHTED I was to read Uncle Leopold's letter! His joy shone out of every line.

My dearest Victoria,

Nothing could have given me greater pleasure than your dear letter. I had, when I saw your decision, almost the feeling of Zacharias—‘Now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace.'

You will find in Albert just the very qualities and dispositions which are indispensable for your happiness and will suit your own character, temper, and mode of life…Albert's position will be a difficult one but much, I may say, will depend on your affection for him.

Lord Melbourne has shown himself the amiable and excellent man I always took him for. Another man in his position, instead of your happiness might have merely looked to his own personal views and imaginary interests. Not so our good friend; he saw what was best for you, and I feel it deeply to his praise…

I was so delighted with the letter, and as it was so complimentary to Lord Melbourne, I showed it to him. He had always been a little suspicious of Uncle Leopold, so I thought it a good idea to let him see that my uncle at least had a very good opinion of him.

Lord Melbourne's comment was, “Simeon, I believe… not Zacharias.”

“What?” I demanded.

“Lord now lettest Thou Thy servant…”

I smiled at him. That was so like him.