“I am sure she believed that everything she did was for your good.”

“Oh no, for her good.”

Albert was silent. He thought that speaking disrespectfully of one's parents was almost as wicked as speaking disrespectfully of God.

He thought that Lehzen had too much authority in the household. I daresay he noticed that stubborn look that came into my face when her name was mentioned. Lehzen, too, made sly references to him.

She reminded me of the fun I used to have dancing.

“I remember how pleased you were when you danced till three o'clock in the morning.”

“Oh yes, I remember, Daisy. I did love it, didn't I?”

“I liked to see you so excited, so pretty you looked going off in your ball gown. You're doing a lot of reading now, my precious. You mustn't tire your eyes.”

“Albert is very interested in books.”

“You should get out into the fresh air.”

“Albert is a great believer in fresh air.”

“We don't want to grow into a sobersides. That wouldn't be my precious angel.”

“It will be, Lehzen. Whatever I am I shall always be your precious angel.”

Then she hugged me and demanded to be assured that nothing… simply nothing would change the love between us two.

Vehemently I told her that this was the case.

Then Albert mentioned my relationship with Lord Melbourne. “Perhaps it is a little too familiar,” he said.

“My blessed angel, of course it is familiar. Lord Melbourne and I are old familiars. He has been my Prime Minister ever since I came to the throne.”

“The relationship seems to be closer than one would expect between the Queen and her Prime Minister.”

“Lord Melbourne is no ordinary prime minister and, dearest Albert, I am no ordinary queen.”

I showed my gums and laughed. Albert's smile was very faint.

“You are too demonstrative, my love.”

“Why should I not be? Why shouldn't one show people when one likes them?”

“Perhaps not quite so excessively.”

“Lord Melbourne has always been my greatest friend. I have always had the greatest regard for him and I see no reason why I should hide that. I lie in terror that his place will be taken by that horrid Peel man.”

“Do you mean Sir Robert Peel?”

“I do indeed. He behaves like a dancing master and looks as though he is going to break into the minuet at any moment.” I laughed, remembering the antics of the man.

“I have been talking to Anson about him. He seems to have a high opinion of Sir Robert.”

“Oh but, Albert, Robert Peel is our enemy. He voted against your income. He tried to force his wretched Tories into my household. He is doing all he can to oust Lord M from office.”

“Naturally he would do that as he is at the head of the Opposition. I believe Sir Robert has done a great deal for England. The Police Force, instituted by him, is the envy of many another country. Not only that—I have come to the conclusion that he has the good of the country at heart. He is happily married and lives a good moral life, which is more than can be said for all politicians.”

“Dear Albert, you have recently come here. I do not like Sir Robert Peel, and I hope and pray Lord Melbourne succeeds in keeping him out.”

“The fact that you do not like him does not mean that he is not a good politician.”

I yawned. “Albert dearest, I do want to sing that lovely song of yours. And I heard you and Ernest playing Haydn this morning. I should love to hear that again.”

Albert gave me one of those looks which came my way quite often— the one of exasperated tenderness.

Oh yes, we were very different. Albert would change I was sure. It did not occur to me that I might change. I was after all the Queen.

He was even faintly critical of Lord Melbourne. He admitted that his manners were gracious and courtly, but he thought he was a little suave. He did not care for what he had heard of Lord Melbourne's past. He had discovered that he had been involved in scandals.

“Oh, it was not Lord Melbourne's fault,” I explained. “It just happened.”

“It seems rather strange that it should have happened so frequently.”

“Life is like that. Lord Melbourne is a very distinguished man. People would be attracted by him and that could make trouble for him. He has been so helpful about you, Albert. He has done everything for us. He tried so hard to get that money for you. I may tell you that Sir Robert Peel was one of your most bitter opponents.”

That rather sad faraway look came into Albert's eyes. He looked so spiritual and beautiful that I just kissed him and I said, “Come on. We will go and find Ernest.”

We could not expect Albert's family to stay with us indefinitely, and the day came for his father to leave.

He and Albert parted with protestations of affection and determination to see each other often and soon. I said there would always be a welcome for him in England. He kissed my hand and was most charming.

But when he had gone Albert broke down and wept.

I was horrified to see him so desolate. I tried to comfort him but he would not be comforted.

“You do not know what it is like to say goodbye to a father,” he told me.

“I do know,” I replied. “But, dearest Albert, we are together. I am your wife. I will comfort you.”

But he just looked melancholy and I felt a little irritated. Of course he loved his father and it was most feeling of him to care so much. It was right for people to love their fathers, and Albert would always do what was right. But he had his life with me now and that should alleviate any sorrow he felt at the parting.

It seemed to me that I was not enough for him. We had been married only a few weeks. Surely he should not feel quite so desolate…A strange little doubt crept into my mind then. I was passionately in love with Albert; but was he so deeply involved with me as I was with him?


* * *

AT FIRST I had thought that the people were absolutely delighted with my marriage. They had cheered themselves hoarse at the wedding; but they seemed to get tired of approving very quickly and were looking for trouble. Sometimes I thought people did not like to see others happy.

Trouble was more exciting and they must have it.

I was very distressed when I heard that the Duchess of Cambridge refused to stand up when Albert's health was being drunk at one of the Dowager Queen's dinners. People commented on it. It was typical of the family; they were always afraid that someone was going to take precedence over them, and I expected they were angry because I had not married their son George.

There were cartoons in the press, some depicting Albert as a cowed husband who had to do what his wife told him to; others showed him as a scheming creature congratulating himself on having replaced his miserable £2,500 a year for £30,000.

The Coburgs were represented as ambitious grasping men who were worming their way into all the royal houses of Europe.

I wanted it stopped and naturally I brought up the matter with Lord Melbourne.

“We pride ourselves on a free press,” he said, shaking his head. “The people will allow no interference with that.”

“But it is so cruel,” I protested, “and so untrue.”

“Alas,” replied Lord Melbourne, “people in high places must expect to be shot at.”

“But why?”

“Because they are easy targets. The people want to hear these things. They do not buy papers to hear that everything is just as it should be. They would find that very dull.”

“It is a very sad commentary on life.”

“Life is often sad,” said Lord Melbourne. “Forget it. They will stop in time.”

Someone had even made a parody of the national anthem and I had heard it sung in the streets. I knew it off by heart.

God save sweet Vic, mine Queen


Long live mine little Queen


God save de Queen


Albert's victorious


The Coburgs are glorious


All so notorious


God save de Queen.

Ah, Melbourne, soon arise


To get me de supplies


My means are small


Confound Peel's politics


Frustrate de Tory tricks


At dem now go like bricks


God damn dem all

The greatest gifts in store


On me be pleased to pour


And let me reign.


Mine Vic has vowed today


To honor and obey


And I will have de sway


Albert de King.

I was afraid Albert would hear it—that wicked slander and the way in which they attempted to poke fun at his accent.

Nothing it seemed could be kept long from Albert. He was so quick to notice everything. Already he had pointed out things in the household that he thought were not as efficient as they might have been.

“My dearest Albert,” I said, “you must not be hurt by these stupid people.”

“I see,” said Albert, “that they do not like me. At one moment I am an ineffectual fool who must take his orders from his wife; at another I am a scheming adventurer.”

“If they but knew how good you are! Oh, Albert, in time they will. We must be patient.”

He looked at me very steadily and said, “Oh yes, we must be patient.”

And I had an idea that he was talking more to himself than to me.


* * *

ALBERT SAID TO me one day, “Do you not find it rather dull…these evenings?”

“Why no, Albert,” I replied. “I love the evenings when we are together, don't you?”

He said, “I think we could invite more interesting people to Court.”

“But the people we see are the Court.”

“At Rosenau we would have writers, scientists, artists … people like that.”

“Oh, I do not like such people. They talk of things of which I know nothing.”

“You could learn and find them very interesting, I am sure.”

“Of course Rosenau was only a little Court. I think this is rather different.”

“Your uncle, King George the Fourth, I believe, entertained people of culture.”

“Oh, he was considered very raffish. The people did not like him, you know.”

“He must have had some very interesting gatherings.”

“I thought you were happy.”

He took my hand tenderly and kissed it. “My little one, you are charming. It is just that I miss certain interests.”

“Oh, my dear Albert, you must not miss anything.”

“You see, you have your work, your talks with your Prime Minister, your papers to study. I…I am just here. I would like to help you.”

“Oh, how good of you! But you see, I have to discuss matters of state which only the Queen can do. There are so many papers to sign. To be the Queen is not only opening things like Parliament and balls. It is not only showing oneself wearing the crown.”

“I want you to know that I am here to help you.”

“Dear Albert!”

It occurred to me then that he had not enough to do. At Rosenau, he was always busy and Albert was not a man who would look for amusement all the time. He was very serious.

Lord Melbourne came and left behind a batch of papers for my signature. I had an idea. I called to Albert.

“Dearest,” I said, “I have work here. Would you help me?”

His dear face lit up with joy.

“With the greatest of pleasure,” he said.

“That is wonderful. Come into the closet.”

He sat beside me.

“What are these papers?” he asked, and picked them up.

Gently I took them from him.

“They are merely for my signature.”

“Oh yes. I gathered that. You are giving your seal to certain documents, but what are the content of these papers?”

“I have discussed it all with Lord Melbourne. All I have to do is sign them.”

I gave him the blotting-paper.

“There, my dearest. I will sign and you shall do the blotting.”

I penned my signature and handed the papers to Albert. I could not understand his expression but I imagined there was a hint of frustration in it, and that he was holding his real feelings very much in check.


* * *

I WAS BEGINNING to feel unwell. I was sick in the mornings. Lehzen watched me with knowing eyes.