“I haven’t had that much time for it, between work and Carter, and my strange reluctance to come up here at all. But I’m going to stick with it tonight.”
“You’re not seeing Carter?”
“Parent-teacher deal at the academy. Besides, we don’t see each other every night.”
“Right. Only on the ones that end with Y. You look happy. He makes you happy.”
“He does. There was this little thing.”
“Oh-oh.”
“No, just a little thing. He said I might want to keep some things there. Some of my things.”
“Such as a change of clothes, a toothbrush. Mac.”
“I know. I
know. It’s logical, and it’s considerate. But I felt myself wanting to get twisted up and crazed. I didn’t, but I wanted to. And, I mean, look at my things. There are so many of them. If I start mixing them with his, how will I know where they are? And what if I leave something over there, then I need it here?”
“You do know you’re looking at this, trying to find the flaws, the barriers, the drop chutes. You know that, right?”
“Knowing I’m looking for them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. I’m just getting used to being with him—an official couple—and now he’s offering me closet space. I’m trying to deal with my own closet.”
“And doing a remarkable job of it.”
She studied the piles. “It’s a work in progress.”
“So are you. So’s your relationship with Carter. People and relationships never stop being a work in progress.”
“I know you’re right. It’s just . . . I want to get everything in place.” She blew out a breath as she scanned the piles. “I want to get my life organized and feel in control. Get some clarity. I want to know what I’m doing with that, the way I do with the work.”
“Do you love him?”
“How do people know that? I keep asking myself, and the answer keeps coming back yes. Yes, I do. But people fall in and out of love all the time. The falling-in part’s scary and exciting, but the falling-out is horrible. It’s all going really well right now, so I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Do you know how much I wish I was in love with a man who loved me?”
“I don’t think you’d be picking out your bridal bouquet.”
“You’re really wrong. If I had what you have right now? I wouldn’t be standing in the middle of chaos trying to organize my life. I’d be looking forward to making a life. If you—”
She broke off as she heard the door downstairs slam.
“Hey, Mac? You here?”
“What’s Jack doing here?” Emma wanted to know.
“Oh, I forgot. Upstairs!” she called out. “He was coming by to talk to Parker, so I told her to ask him to stop over. Confused by closet organizers, I figured why not consult an architect?”
“You want an architect—a man—
Jack—to organize your closet?”
“No, to give me a vision of what to use to organize it.”
Emma gave Mac a dubious look. “You’ve now entered Parker territory.”
“Maybe, but have you seen her closet? It’s like a layout in a magazine. It’s like what the Queen of England probably has. Without all the odd hats. Jack! Just the man I wanted to see.”
He stood in the doorway, tall, clad in jeans, work shirt, and boots—and very male. “I don’t want to come in there. You’re not supposed to touch anything at a crime scene.”
“The only crime here is that.” She pointed at her closet. “An empty closet with one stupid bar and shelf. You have to help me.”
“I told you we needed to design the closet when we altered the space.”
“I was in a hurry back then. Now I’m not. I know I need at least two bars, right—a lower one. And more shelves. Maybe some drawers.”
He glanced around. “You’re going to need a bigger boat.”
“I’m purging. Don’t start with me.”
He walked in, hooked his thumbs in his belt loops. “Roomy.”
“Yes, which is part of the problem. All that room, I’ve felt obliged to fill it. You can make it better.”
“Sure I can make it better. A kit from Home Depot would make it better.”
“I’ve looked at them. I want something more . . . More.”
“Ought to line it in cedar while we’re at it. You’ve got enough room for some built-ins here. Run a short rod on the side, maybe some box shelves there. I don’t know. I’ll think about it. I know a guy who could knock it out for you.”
She beamed a smile at him. “See, I knew you’d know what to do with it.”
“Hauling all this stuff back in’s on you.”
“Goes without saying. While you’re here—”
“You’d like me to design your broom closet?”
“No, but thanks. Male point of view.”
“I’ve got that on me.”
“What does it mean when you tell a woman she should leave some of her things at your place?”
“How did I get the concussion?”
“Typical,” Emma muttered.
“Hey, she asked.”
“It’s a woman you’re involved with exclusively. Intimately,” Mac explained.
“And now she wants to leave her strange female products in the bathroom. Then she needs a drawer. Before you know it she’s buying throw pillows for the bed, and your beer has to make room in the refrigerator for her diet drinks and low-fat yogurt. Then, wham, you’re going antiquing instead of watching the game on Sunday afternoon.”
“And that’s all it is?” Emma demanded. “Sure, she can roll around in the bed, tear up the sheets, but hell no, she can’t leave a toothbrush in
your bathroom. Or have a few inches of a drawer. That’s too pushy, that’s too much. Why not just leave the money on the dresser and call it what it is?”
“Whoa. That’s not what I—”
“Why should she be comfortable, why should she expect you to make any room in your life for her needs? God forbid she should infringe on your precious time, your sacred space. Pathetic,” she said. “Both of you.” And stormed out.
Jack stared at the empty doorway. “What was that? Why is she so pissed off at me?”
“It’s me. It started with me.”
“Next time warn me so I can dodge the ricochets. Is she . . . seeing someone who’s giving her trouble?”
“No. She’s not seeing anyone special. I am, and she’s frustrated because she thinks I don’t appreciate it—him—enough. She’s wrong. I do. But she’s right in that my thought process takes the same downward spiral you just outlined. And actually, she’s right. It is pathetic.”
“It’s not a downward spiral, necessarily. Maybe you want the yogurt or the antiquing. It depends.”
“On what?”
“Who’s leaving their stuff in your drawer. Got any beer?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s go have a beer. I’ll sketch something out. If you like it, I’ll have the guy I know come over and measure, knock it out.”
“That’s worth a beer.”
“So, you and Carter Maguire.”
“Me and Carter Maguire,” she said as they started down. “Is it weird?”
“Why would it be?”
“I don’t know. Maybe since we sort of knew each other in high school when I was going through my artistic free spirit phase and he was a nerd. And he was tutoring Del when I had my obligatory crush on Del.”
“You had a crush on Del?”
“Obligatory five-minute one,” she repeated as she got out the beer. “In fact, I think it only lasted three. Emma made the five.”
“Emma had . . . hmm.”
“And my attention sort of skimmed over him. Carter, I mean. The oh, there’s that guy, the smart one. Then fast-forward to now, and it’s like
oh, there’s that guy! Funny.”
“It looks good on you.”
“Feels good, most of the time.” She handed him the beer, tapped hers to it. “When it’s not scary. I’ve never been in love before. In lust, in serious like, but love’s a whole new level of good and scary. He’s got a school thing tonight, which is another strange and funny thing. Me, falling for a teacher. The PhD. I’m the only one of us who didn’t go to college. Photography courses, business courses, but not the dorms and campus and the whole shot. And I’m wrapped up in a guy who grades term papers, gives homework, leads discussions on Shakespeare.
“You’d make more sense, come to think of it.”
“Me?” Jack blinked at her. “I would?”
“No need to wear the panic face. I’m just saying you’d be a more logical choice. We both think in images, in concepts. We need to visualize to create. We both run our own businesses, work with clients. We have divorced parents and half sibs, though your parents are really nice. We have a close circle of mutual friends, are commitment phobic. And we like the occasional beer.
“Plus,” she realized, “our names rhyme.”
“You’re right. Let’s go have sex.”
She laughed. “Missed that boat.”
“I guess we did.”
Amused at both of them, she tipped up her beer. “You never made the move.”
“If I’d made the move, Del would’ve beaten me to death with a shovel. Nobody messes with his girls.”
“He does know we’ve all had sex.”
“He prefers to pretend otherwise, but none of you have had sex with me. To my misfortune. That’s key.”
“I guess you’re right about that. Besides, while logically we may seem suited, we’d end up fighting over drawer space and hating each other. Carter makes room. He’s got the innate ability to open up and accept.”
“Got the starry eyes on you,” Jack commented. “So how does it work? Who takes the wedding photographer’s pictures when she walks down the aisle?”
“Aisle?” She choked on her beer. “I never said anything about aisle. I’m not—we’re not. What makes you think we’re thinking about getting married? Where’d that come from?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” He swiveled on his stool, gestured at the walls lined with wedding photos. “Being surrounded maybe, added to the starry eyes.”
“That’s business. Those are business. Just because I think about weddings doesn’t mean I’m thinking about a wedding.”
“Okay, no need to go to Crazytown.”
“I’m not. I’m just—” She sucked in a breath. Marching to her desk, she came back with a large pad and a pencil. “Sketch. Earn the beer.”
SHE SPENT THE REST OF THE EVENING STICKING WITH THE PLAN. AS the hills and piles became more manageable, her stress level decreased, and a sense of accomplishment rose. She’d have her living space back, and better than ever in no time, she thought. She’d feel more in control then.
It was nice to have the evening alone, to deal with her own business, to have her own space. She could do that and miss Carter at the same time. In fact, doing that meant she was handling the relationship.
Love him, love being with him, but be perfectly content to spend time on her own. Unlike—
When the phone rang, she checked the readout.
Linda.
Mac closed her eyes, reminded herself she couldn’t avoid speaking to her mother forever. Avoiding calls was childish. Confront and stand your ground, she told herself.
“Yes, Mom.”
“Mackensie, you have to come! Please, please, come right away.”
Alarm ripped straight through annoyance, and had Mac’s heartbeat jagged with fear. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Hurry. Oh, you have to come. I don’t know what to do.”
“Are you hurt? Have you—”
“Yes. Yes, I’m hurt. Please help me. I need you. Please help me.”
“Call nine-one-one. I’m on my way.”
She flew out of the house, grabbing a coat on the fly. Dozens of images, each worse than the last rushed through her mind. A suicide attempt, an accident, a break-in.
Icy, treacherous roads, she thought as she risked life and limb and punched the speed through the nasty fall of freezing rain. A careless driver in the best of circumstances, Linda could’ve wrecked that toy car of hers, and—
No, no, she’d called from home, not the cell. She was home.
Mac fought to keep control of the wheel, gripped it with hands that wanted to shake, as she rounded a curve too fast for safety.
She fishtailed to the curb in front of her mother’s dollhouse Cape Cod, ran up the slippery walk to the door. She found it unlocked. The thought of break-in shoved through the door with her.
Had she been raped? Beaten?
She leaped over a shattered vase of roses, into the living room where Linda lay curled on the floor, weeping.
“Mom! Mom, I’m here.” She dropped to the floor beside Linda, frantically checking for injuries. “Where are you hurt? What did he do? Did you call the police, an ambulance?”
“Oh! I want to die!” Linda turned her ravaged, tear-streaked face into Mac’s shoulder. “I can’t bear it.”
“No, don’t say that. It’s not your fault. I’ll call for help, and we’ll—”
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