Susan Phillips - What I Did for Love

“You can think later.”

He started to reach for the phone again, but she jammed her hand over it. “The marriage-the annulment-will be a matter of public record.” She plowed her free hand through her tangled hair. “Within twenty-four hours, everyone will know. There’ll be a media circus complete with helicopters and car chases.”

“You’re used to it.”

Her fingers were icy, her stomach nauseated. “I’m not going through another scandal. If I even stumble on the sidewalk, somebody reports that I tried to kill myself. Imagine what they’ll do with this.”

“Not my problem. You brought it on yourself by marrying The Loser.”

“Will you stop calling him that?”

“He dumped you. What do you care?”

“Why do you hate him so much?”

“I don’t hate him for me,” he said caustically. “I hate him for you, since you don’t seem to be able to do it for yourself. The guy’s a mama’s boy.” Instead of pushing her away from the phone, he bent down and snatched up his shoe, then started looking around for his socks. “I’m going to find that bitch who drugged us.”

She followed him into the bedroom, still not quite believing that he wasn’t on the phone with his lawyer. “You can’t leave until we come up with a story.”

He found his socks and sat on the side of the bed to pull them on. “I have my story.” He yanked on the first sock. “You’re a desperate, pathetic woman. I married you out of pity, and-”

“You will not say that.”

He yanked on the other sock. “-and now that I’m sober, I realize I’m not cut out for a life of misery.”

“I’ll sue you. I swear.”

“Get a sense of humor, will you?” Displaying not even a trace of humor himself, he shoved his foot into one shoe and went back into the living room to get the other. “We’ll make a joke out of it. Say we had too many drinks and started watching Skip and Scooter reruns. We were swept away by nostalgia, and it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

That would be fine for him, but not for her. No one would believe her if she told the truth about the drugged drinks. For the rest of her life, she’d be branded as both a loser and a loony. She was trapped, and she couldn’t let her bitterest enemy see that she was at his mercy. She shoved her fists into the pockets of her robe. “We’re going to retrace our steps from last night. There have to be some clues about where we were. Do you remember anything?”

“Does ‘Give it to me, big boy’ count?”

“At least pretend to be decent.”

“I’m not that good an actor.”

“You know all kinds of shady characters. Surely you know someone who can make the record of our marriage disappear?”

She expected him to brush her off. Instead, his fingers stalled on a shirt button. “There’s this guy I met a couple of times. A former councilman. He loves hobnobbing with celebrities. It’s a long shot, but we can pay him a call.”

She didn’t have a better idea, so she agreed.

He dug into his pocket. “Apparently this belongs to you.” He opened his palm and held out a cheap metal ring with a plastic “diamond” solitaire. “You can’t say I don’t have taste.”

As he tossed it at her, she thought of the two-carat engagement diamond locked in her safe-deposit box. Lance had told her to keep it, as if her engagement ring was something she’d still want to wear.

She shoved the plastic diamond in her pocket. “Nothing says ‘I love you’ like fake jewelry.”

She’d hitched a flight to Vegas on a private jet, so they needed to use Bram’s car. While she showered, he arranged a discreet exit from the hotel. She pulled on her gray cotton slacks and a wraparound white top, the least conspicuous clothes she’d brought with her. “They have my car waiting in the back,” he said when she came out of the bedroom.

“We’ll take the service elevator down.” She rubbed her forehead. “This is like Ross and Rachel all over again. The exact same thing happened to them at the end of season-”

“Except Ross and Rachel don’t really exist!”

Neither of them spoke while they rode the elevator to the first floor. She didn’t even bother telling him that he’d buttoned his shirt wrong.

They entered a service hallway and headed for the exit. As Bram held the door open, a blast of afternoon heat swept over them. She squinted against the sun and stepped outside.

A camera snapped in her face.

Mel Duffy, the Darth Vader of the paparazzi, trapped them in his lens. Georgie experienced the odd sensation of floating out of her body and taking in the whole disaster from a spot somewhere above her head.

“Congratulations,” Duffy said, clicking away. “In the words of my Irish grandmother, ‘May you be poor in misfortunes and rich in blessings.’”

Bram just stood there, his hand on the door, his shirt buttoned wrong, and his jaw wired shut. He was leaving it up to her. This time she wouldn’t let the jackals get the best of her, and she plastered on her Scooter Brown smile. “It’s nice to have your grandmother’s blessing. But what for?”

Duffy was overweight, with ruddy skin and an unkempt beard. “I’ve seen a copy of your marriage license, and I talked with the guy who performed the ceremony. He looks like a seedy Justin Timber-lake.” Duffy continued to shoot as he spoke. “It’ll be all over the wires within an hour, so you might as well give me the story. I promise I’ll send you a great wedding present.” He shifted his angle again. “How long have you been-”

“There’s no story.” Bram whipped an arm around Georgie’s waist and yanked her back into the building.

Ignoring trespassing laws, Duffy caught the door before it closed and followed them in. “Have you talked to Lance? Does he know about this?”

“Back off,” Bram said.

“Come on, Shepard. You know the score as well as I do. This is the biggest celebrity story of the year.”

“I said back off.” Bram lunged for Duffy’s camera.

Georgie, with the ounce of sanity she had left, grabbed his arm and held on. “Don’t do it!”

Duffy quickly stepped back, took one final shot, and ducked out the door. “No hard feelings.”

Bram shook her off and started after him.

“Stop it!” Georgie blocked the door with her body. “What good will smashing his camera do now?”

“It’ll make me feel better.”

“That’s so you. Still trying to solve problems with your fists.”

“As opposed to smiling at any asshole who points a lens in your direction and pretending life’s just peachy?” He narrowed his eyes at her. “The next time I decide to deck somebody, stay out of my way.”

A busboy came into the hallway, forcing her to stifle a hot retort. They headed for the service elevator and rode up in furious silence. When they reached the suite, he kicked the door open, then whipped his cell from his pocket.

“No!” She snatched it from his hand and raced with it to the bathroom.

He rushed after her. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

She tossed the cell in the toilet before he could grab it back. He pushed her aside and stared down into the tank. “I cannot believe you did that.”

Scooter had once accidentally dropped Mother Scofield’s ancestral photo album into the garden fountain, then spent the rest of the show trying to cover her tracks. In the end, Skip had saved her by taking the blame. That so wasn’t going to happen this time. “You’re not calling anybody until we figure this out together,” she said.

“Is that right?”

Her chest heaved, and she focused all her anger on him. “Do not screw with me. I’m an American icon, remember. Lance barely got away with it, and he was Mr. Squeaky Clean. You’re not, and you won’t.”

His clenched-jaw reflection in the mirror wasn’t reassuring. “We’re going with my original plan,” he said. “In exactly one hour, your publicist and the one I’m about to hire are going to release a statement. Too much liquor, too much nostalgia, remain good friends, bullshit, bullshit.” He stalked out of the bathroom.

She went after him as she’d never gone after Lance. “A bubble-headed pop star might be able to get away with a Vegas marriage that lasts less than twenty-four hours, but I can’t, and neither can you. Give me some time to think.”

“No amount of thinking is going to make this little scrape go away.” He headed for the phone next to the couch.

“Five minutes! That’s all I need.” She pointed toward the television. “You can watch porn while you’re waiting.”

“You watch porn. I’m finding a publicist.”

She tore around the couch and once again slapped her hands over the phone. “Do not make me toss this one in the toilet, too.”

“Do not make me tie you up, lock you in a closet, and toss in a match!”

Right now that didn’t sound so horrible. And then-

An impossible idea came to her.

An idea so much worse than any murderous plot he could come up with…

An idea so unbearable, so revolting…

She backed away from the phone. “I need alcohol.”

He jabbed the receiver in the general direction of her head. “Kerosene burns hotter and faster.” She must have looked as sick as she felt because he didn’t immediately start to dial. “What’s wrong? You’re not going to throw up, are you?”

If only it were that simple. She gulped. “J-just hear me out, okay?”

“Make it quick.”

“Oh, God…” Her legs had begun to buckle, and she sank into the chair on the other side of the couch. “There’s a…” The room started to spin around her. “There might be…a-a way out of this.”

“You’re right. And I promise, I’ll have fresh flowers delivered to your grave once a month. Plus your birthday and Christmas.”

She absolutely could not look at him, so she stared at the creases of her gray slacks. “We could…” She cleared her throat. Swallowed. “We could s-stay married.”

Thick silence filled the room, followed by the piercing bleat of a telephone left too long off its cradle.

Her palms were sweating, and her cheeks burned. He set the phone back on its hook. “What did you say?”

She swallowed again and tried to pull herself together. “Just for-for a year. We stay married for a year.” Her words sounded wheezy, as if she was squeezing them through a kazoo. “A-a year from today, we announce that-that we’ve decided we’re better friends than lovers, and we’re getting a divorce. But that we’ll love each other forever. And-Here’s the important part.” Her thoughts tumbled over one another, then focused. “We-we make sure we’re seen together in public after that. Always laughing and having a good time together so neither of us gets painted as a”-she caught herself just before she said “victim”-“so neither of us gets painted as a villain.”

The bits and pieces came together in her mind like a sitcom episode on crack. “Slowly, we let the story leak that I’ve started fixing you up with some of my girlfriends and that you’re fixing me up with a few of those cretins you hang out with. Everything incredibly friendly. All Bruce and Demi. No drama, no scandal.”

And no pity. That was the important part, the only way she’d be able to keep it together. No more pity for pathetic, heartbroken Georgie York who couldn’t hold on to love.

Bram was still stuck at the beginning. “We stay married? You and me?”

“Just for a year. It’s-I know it’s not a perfect plan”-a mind-numbing understatement-“but given the circumstances, I think it’s the best we can do.”

“We hate each other!”

She couldn’t fold now. Everything was at stake. Her reputation, her career, and most of all, her battered pride…

Except it was more than pride. Pride was a surface emotion, and this went deeper-all the way to her sense of identity. She faced the painful truth that she’d lived her entire life without making a single important decision of her own. Her father had guided every step of her career and her personal life, from the jobs she took to how she looked. He’d even introduced her to Lance, who’d dictated when they’d get married, where they’d live, and a thousand other things. Lance had announced they’d have no children, and he was the one who’d delivered the verdict that had ended her marriage. For thirty-one years, she’d let other people chart her destiny, and she was sick of it. She could either continue to live by the dictates of others, or she could set her own path, however bizarre.

A frightening-almost exhilarating-sense of purpose came over her. “I’ll pay you.”

That got his attention. “Pay me?”

“Fifty thousand for every month we stay together. That’s over half a million dollars, in case you can’t add.”

“I can add.”

“A post prenup,” she said.