“Not a one.” Natalie swiveled around to sit up, holding one corner of the

blanket between her breasts. “I feel great.”

Dev thought she looked great too. Her eyes and mouth were soft in the early

morning light, her dark hair framing her face like an invitation.

She was beautiful and warm and Dev wondered why she didn’t cross the room

to her and lift the blanket away and accept what Natalie was offering.

Tenderness and shared pleasure. Natalie had asked for no promises, made no

demands.

Maybe it was because Dev liked her, really liked her in a way that she rarely

experienced because she seldom made close friends, that she didn’t. Shouldn’t

she have something to offer too? Shouldn’t there be something more than

desire?

As if reading her mind, Natalie said quietly, “Sometimes things are enough just

as they are, Dev.”

Dev poured coffee into two white ceramic mugs with I ♥ Lake George on the

side. “Black, right?”

Natalie nodded.

“Just in case you thought otherwise,” Dev said, setting Natalie’s coffee on the

maple Americana end table beside the couch, “it’s not

• 88 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

about you.” She leaned down and softly kissed Natalie. “I’m a little turned

around these days. Sorry.”

“Thanks for the coffee.” Natalie didn’t reach for her because she had a feeling if

she pushed just a little harder than she had been, Dev would relent. And it

wasn’t about having her. Not entirely. She wanted her, but not like that. Not

when she knew something inside Dev would end up hurting more. “I understand,

by the way. If you want a sounding board sometime, anytime, I’m available.”

“Thanks, but it’s something that talking won’t change. Just some old stuff that

needs to stay in the past, where it belongs.” She retrieved her own coffee and

sipped. “I know the minute you drive away, I’ll feel like an idiot.”

“Good. You should.” Natalie wrapped the blanket around herself and stood.

“I’m going to take a shower. Do you have time to wait?”

“Sure. They make a good breakfast at the lodge. How about it?”

“I’ll be ready in Þ ve.”

v

Leslie awakened just before six, relieved to see the morning. The night had been

Þ lled with fragmented dreams and disturbingly erotic half-formed images of

making love with Rachel who became Dev who became Mike who became

Leslie herself in an endless loop of increasingly frantic and unrequited desire.

More distressing still, her body thrummed heavily with lingering arousal.

Surprised, she traced her Þ ngers between her legs and discovered that she was

wet. The ER

doctor had clearly been right when he’d said hormones might be at the root of

her heart and blood pressure problems, because something was deÞ nitely

amiss with her body.

While she enjoyed sex, it wasn’t something she ordinarily paid much attention

to. Certainly thoughts of making love never occupied her conscious mind or

disturbed her concentration. She couldn’t ever remember feeling as if she

needed sex. When it occurred, it was a pleasurable interlude. Even on the

infrequent occasions when she and Rachel spent the entire night together, she

couldn’t recall waking aroused, not even with Rachel’s body against hers.

Rachel particularly enjoyed sex in the morning, so they made love then, but

Rachel always initiated it. Leslie apparently was a good partner, as Rachel

always

• 89 •

RADCLY fFE

seemed satisÞ ed. As for herself, Leslie found being intimate with Rachel

pleasant, and she almost always achieved orgasm. And then it was over and she

was free to focus on the things that did occupy her mind.

She never woke up with the urge to be touched. Not like she had right now.

“What I have,” Leslie muttered as she abolished the remaining pieces of the

dream and headed for the shower, “is way too much time on my hands.”

No wonder she never took vacations. She was mentally and physically

completely out of sync. As she twisted on the shower knobs, she spoke aloud

as if that would ensure results. “All that’s about to change. What I need is a trip

to the ofÞ ce.”

By 6:30 a.m., she was dressed in casual business attire—slacks and blouse and

low heels. Briefcase in hand, she started along the path to the lodge, intent on

regaining control of her life. When she ran into Dev and her overnight guest, she

realized that her plan might turn out to be a bit more challenging than she

anticipated. Dev’s companion had her arm loosely around Dev’s waist, and she

looked relaxed and comfortable. ConÞ dent.

Leslie greeted them both politely, surprised when Dev blushed.

Natalie reintroduced herself, although Leslie remembered her name quite well.

“Going to work?” Dev asked.

“Yes,” Leslie said as they moved on as a group. She could have walked ahead,

but why give the impression that anything about the situation bothered her? Dev

had every right to entertain women in her cabin. Why should she care who

Devon Weber slept with?

“A working vacation?” Natalie asked pleasantly.

“More like a working visit.” Hoping to divert attention from herself, Leslie

asked, “How is the season going for you?”

“It’s gotten off to a better start than most,” Natalie said, shooting a quick smile

in Dev’s direction. “With the economy the way it’s been recently, we expect

more people to opt for less expensive vacations. It’s getting busy and should

stay that way all summer.”

“Do you have time to join us for breakfast, Les?” Dev asked, slowing as they

climbed the steps to the lodge.

Leslie opened the door and held it while Natalie stepped inside.

She glanced up at Dev, who hesitated in the doorway by her side. “No,

• 90 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

thanks. I’m just going to grab some coffee and see if I can borrow my mother’s

car. Hopefully, my father’s revived it.”

“If not, you can take my truck.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it, but I can always rent a car.”

“The offer’s open anytime.” Dev glanced after Natalie, who had settled at a

table on the far side of the room. “What about the other?”

“The other?” Leslie frowned, then realized Dev was asking about her health and

the yet-to-be-scheduled tests. “Oh. That. Just as soon as I check in with the ofÞ

ce up here. I’m not really sure how long I’ll be staying, so if I don’t see you

again, have a good summer.”

“I got the impression you were going to be here a few weeks.”

“The peace and quiet are starting to get to me.”

“Leslie, if it’s me—”

“It’s not you, Dev,” Leslie said sharply. How many more times could she let

Dev accept the responsibility for the pain they couldn’t seem to stop causing one

another? “Really. I need to get on the road before trafÞ c gets heavy.” She

gestured toward Natalie with a slight tip of her chin. “Your friend is waiting.”

Dev grabbed Leslie’s hand before she could move away. “Your mother has my

cell phone number. Call me if you need my truck. Or anything.”

Leslie closed her eyes and sighed. “Dev. You always were way too nice.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve grown out of that.”

“I don’t think so.” Gently, Leslie drew her hand away. “Take care, Dev.”

Dev followed Leslie with her eyes as Leslie disappeared into the kitchen. After

pouring a cup of coffee from the large urn on the sideboard, she joined Natalie.

“Ready to hit the buffet?”

“DeÞ nitely.” As they waited for the few people ahead of them to Þ ll their

plates, Natalie said, “Looks like you and Leslie have history.”

“We went to high school together. How did you know?”

“You can always tell. The way you look at each other, the shorthand sentences.

You know the sort of thing.”

Actually, Dev didn’t. She hadn’t had any friends other than Leslie in high school,

and since then, the people whose acquaintances she’d made were just that.

Acquaintances. But she didn’t comment. She was thinking that Leslie looked

even more run down and pale than she had

• 91 •

RADCLY fFE

when she’d Þ rst arrived. And she was willing to bet money that Leslie wouldn’t

schedule the tests that she was supposed to get.

Just then, Leslie came out of the kitchen, travel mug in hand, and strode briskly

through the dining room and out the front door. Dev wanted to go after her.

Leslie had said she might be leaving soon. That thought left Dev feeling hollow,

until she reminded herself she was being ridiculous. In fact, Leslie leaving was

the best thing that could possibly happen. Then they could both get on with their

lives without constantly reminding one another of something that had happened

long ago, but that still apparently had the power to hurt them both. Leslie was

doing the right thing. Making the correct choice. Dev took a deep breath,

absorbing that simple realization and enjoying the peace that went with it.

“Do you happen to have my permits for camping on the island?”

Dev asked.

Natalie looked startled at the abrupt change in subject, but nodded.

“That and the gear you’ll need to stay for four or Þ ve days. Everything should

be set for you by tomorrow.”

“Good. Then I’ll head out the day after tomorrow.” Getting away from

Lakeview and the memories that had sprung to life around her was just what she

needed, especially if Leslie was leaving. With any luck, she could get back to

work without constantly seeing Leslie’s face in her mind or hearing her voice or

just…remembering.

“Thursday. Hell,” Natalie said. “I have to be in meetings almost all day. But I

can get someone else to run you out—”

“No problem. I’m pretty sure Paul Harris will be able to do it.”

Dev touched Natalie’s shoulder. “Believe me, you’ve been a huge help already.”

“It’s no hardship.” Natalie reached under the table and brushed her Þ ngers

along Dev’s thigh. “I told you that the Þ rst day. Remember?”

“I do seem to recall something like that.”

Natalie stopped her teasing caress just short of Dev’s crotch. She wasn’t usually

so blatant in her seduction tactics, but Dev got to her in ways that other women

didn’t. As much as Dev held back physically, she didn’t hide what she was

feeling. Or maybe she couldn’t. Natalie had seen the way Dev looked at Leslie

Harris, and watching Dev’s face when Leslie had disappeared out the front

door, she’d Þ nally understood the phrase wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Dev probably

• 92 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

didn’t realize it, but when she looked at Leslie, her eyes were Þ lled with

helpless longing.

“Were you out in high school?” Natalie asked, suddenly getting the picture. But

Dev couldn’t possibly be carrying a torch all these years, could she?

“No,” Dev said, her voice hoarse. “I didn’t know anyone who was gay. I didn’t

really understand myself, what I was feeling, not for sure until…” The night I

kissed her.

The pain in Dev’s face was so naked, Natalie ached. Obviously she’d been

wrong about the importance of whatever Dev had felt back then. Impulsively,

she covered Dev’s hand where it rested on the tablecloth. “Never mind. Water

under the bridge, right?”

“Absolutely,” Dev said, thinking that until a few days before, she’d believed that.

She drained her coffee and pushed her uneaten plate of food away. “Thanks for

last night. It was just what I needed.”

Natalie held Dev’s eyes and let Dev see what was in hers. Her interest. Her

desire. Last night had been great. What she might as well admit was that she

wanted more than kisses. She wanted more than a night or two of pleasure with

Dev’s great body. She wanted to be the one to erase the hurt in her eyes. And