“I don’t…I don’t understand.” Leslie didn’t understand anything.

She didn’t understand why, when she’d looked up to see Dev watching Rachel

kiss her, everything inside of her had grown cold. Why the entire room had

disappeared until all she could see was Dev’s face and the pain in her eyes.

Why she’d made a feeble excuse about needing to check on her father and had

run out into the night after Dev. But she couldn’t just let her walk away. Could

she?

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“I’ve been in love with you all my life,” Dev said, “and it wasn’t until this summer

that I realized I was just holding on to a dream that had died a long time ago.”

Dev shook with bitterness and anger. “You walked away, Leslie. You made a

life, disappeared from mine, and I still couldn’t let you go. Now that’s crazy.”

“Dev,” Leslie said desperately. “It’s not that I didn’t care.”

“I loved you,” Dev said, her voice breaking. “Oh, God, I loved you with my

whole soul.” She turned her face away, refusing to let Leslie see the tears that

streaked her cheeks, but her body trembled as the next words tore their way

out from deep inside her. “And you left me.”

“Oh my God,” Leslie whispered, crying herself. “You don’t know how it killed

me to lose you.”

Dev’s head snapped around, her body rigid. “No. I don’t know.

Because you were gone.” Her hands tightened into Þ sts at her side.

“And you’re still gone. Go back to your lover.”

“But I love y—”

“No! Don’t say that. Don’t!” Dev gripped Leslie’s shoulders and shook her

hard enough to make her gasp. “I’m done dreaming.”

Leslie cried out and Dev realized her Þ ngers had to be bruising Leslie’s

shoulders. She pulled her hands away as if they burned and stumbled back a

step. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m all right.”

Dev shook her head. “I’m sorry for all of it.” Then she escaped into the dark,

leaving the dream to fade away on the hot summer air.

Leslie called her name, but Dev didn’t stop. Running, her legs cramping and her

breath little more than a sob by the time she reached her cabin, she still took the

stairs two at a time. Inside, she quickly scooped up her keys. Then she was

racing down the path to the parking lot. She wasn’t spending the night in the

cabin with Leslie and her lover next door. She didn’t trust herself to see them

together again. Right now she was numb, but she didn’t know how long it would

last. And her anger was even more frightening than the pain.

• 199 •

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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

As Leslie threaded her way through the waning crowd toward Rachel, she gave

silent thanks for the dim lighting. She didn’t want Rachel to know she’d been

crying. How would she ever be able to explain what had just happened? She

never talked about her past with Rachel. Rachel didn’t know anything about

Dev, or Mike, or what had happened. Rachel would think she’d had some kind

of a breakdown if she told her she was crying over a teenage love affair that she

hadn’t even realized was happening at the time. Except her tears had been for

more than the loss of that innocent love. She was losing Dev, and she couldn’t

think about that right now. Not with Rachel here, and her shoulders still burning

where Dev had gripped her. She needed some space from both of them, to

think her way through what had happened.

Once she was home, back on familiar ground, she’d make sense of it all.

Taking a deep breath, Leslie edged up to Rachel. “I’m back. Did I miss

anything?”

“Nothing that looked quite as entertaining as what I have planned for you,”

Rachel murmured, kissing Leslie lightly below the ear. “Have we made enough

of an appearance that we can sneak out?”

“I’m sorry, you must be tired,” Leslie said. “Of course, let’s go.”

“Thank you, darling.”

Once outside, Leslie took Rachel’s hand to lead her along the path.

Rachel stopped her in a moonless spot and nuzzled her neck.

“Did I mention I’ve been desperate for you for days?”

“Do you know that bears can smell pheromones?” Leslie asked lightly, edging

away.

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RADCLY fFE

Rachel laughed. “Then get me home, darling, or we’ll be in real danger.”

Leslie had left the porch light on in her cabin, and she had no difÞ culty leading

them to it. She searched the trees around Dev’s cabin for any sign of her, but

there was only darkness and an eerie sense of emptiness. Leslie couldn’t help

but remember the last time Dev had left a party at the boathouse hurt and angry.

That night she’d nearly died.

But Dev was an adult now, and sober, and Leslie wanted desperately to believe

that she hadn’t hurt Dev that badly again. Leslie forced her attention back to

Rachel as they climbed the stairs to the cabin.

“I can certainly see how staying here for any length of time would be relaxing,”

Rachel said wryly as she walked in.

“What do you mean?”

“It barely feels as if we’re in the twenty-Þ rst century. I half expect to Þ nd you

handing me a candle and directing me to the outhouse.”

Leslie laughed and turned on a table lamp. “Voilà. All the modern

conveniences.”

Rachel turned in a small circle, eyebrows raised as she surveyed the living room.

“Internet? Cable?”

“Ah, no cable. Wireless if the wind blows in the right direction.”

“Well,” Rachel’s voice dropped as she took Leslie’s hand and pulled her into

her arms, “we’ll have to Þ nd something else to occupy our time.”

Rachel moved so quickly, Leslie had no time to anticipate the kiss.

They’d made love countless times and the pressure of Rachel’s mouth, the

possessive sweep of her hands down Leslie’s back to cup her hips, the

demanding thrust of her tongue were all so familiar. Rachel was a skillful lover,

and Leslie’s body responded automatically, accustomed to the knowing touch.

When her mind caught up to her body, she tensed, feeling unexpectedly uneasy.

“Wait a minute, Rach,” Leslie said, pulling back from the embrace.

“I don’t want to get carried away out here. Let’s go in the bedroom.”

“Why,” Rachel murmured, nipping her way down Leslie’s neck to the base of

her throat. She insinuated one hand between them and skimmed her Þ ngertips

over Leslie’s breast. “There’s no one to see.”

Leslie gasped involuntarily as her nipple tightened instantly.

“Mmm, I love exciting you.” Rachel ß icked open the top button of Leslie’s

blouse and slid her hand beneath it, her Þ ngertips gliding under

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the edge of Leslie’s satin bra. “You have wonderful breasts, darling. So

responsive.”

Rachel tugged Leslie’s nipple as she massaged her breast in Þ rm, sensuous

circles.

“Oh God,” Leslie whispered, closing her eyes as tendrils of pleasure snaked

downward, burying themselves deep inside. Somewhere in her rapidly blurring

consciousness, she was aware that something felt wrong, but the sensations

racing through her body screamed otherwise.

Trembling, the intoxicating burn very close to claiming her, she steadied herself

with a hand against Rachel’s shoulder and pushed her gently away. “Please,

Rach. Not out here.”

Rachel’s green eyes were hazy, her breath coming in short, quick pants.

Grasping Leslie’s hand, Rachel pulled her toward the bedroom.

“Then hurry, darling. I’m ready to explode.”

Aroused, confused, Leslie couldn’t make sense of her jumbled emotions. This

was Rachel, her lover, and they weren’t doing anything they hadn’t done dozens

of times before. The strangeness, the frightening disconnection, was just because

they’d been apart. She undressed methodically. Rachel threw off her clothes

and then impatiently pushed aside the last of Leslie’s. When Rachel pulled her

down on the bed and immediately rolled on top of her, moaning Leslie’s name

and frantically grinding against her thigh, Leslie blocked the unsettling thoughts.

Whatever was happening, whatever was wrong, was none of Rachel’s doing.

And Rachel needed her right now.

Leslie cupped the back of Rachel’s neck in her palm, holding Rachel’s head to

her breasts, and arched to meet her thrusts. Rachel would come quickly this

way, and then they could sleep, and tomorrow it would all make sense.

Rachel shuddered and cried out. After a few minutes, her breathing steadied and

she slid off Leslie’s body, laughing softly. “Sorry, darling.

I’ve been wound up for days and I just couldn’t last.”

“I know, it’s okay,” Leslie said quietly, pulling the sheet over them.

“You need to get some sleep. You’ve got that early ß ight tomorrow.”

“You didn’t come yet,” Rachel whispered, caressing Leslie’s stomach.

Leslie caught her hand. She was aroused. She could feel the wetness on her

thighs and the tightness in the pit of her stomach. But she didn’t want to come.

Instead, she had the terrible feeling she was

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RADCLY fFE

going to cry. She pulled Rachel’s arm around her and turned on her side into the

curve of Rachel’s body. “I don’t need to. I’m still not feeling all that great. Just

hold me now.”

“You sure?” Rachel asked drowsily, stroking Leslie’s hair. “In the morning,

then.”

“Just go to sleep, Rachel.” Leslie closed her eyes, but she lay awake long after

Rachel’s breathing had dropped into the slow rhythm of exhausted sleep. Rachel

wasn’t the stranger in her bed.

She was.

v

Leslie braced her arm along the roof of the sedan and leaned down to the open

window. “Be careful driving. You’ve got plenty of time.”

“Sorry to leave so early,” Rachel said, propping the travel cup Þ lled with coffee

that Eileen had just given her into the space in the console. “I just want to check

my e-mail and take care of a few things at that Internet place in the airport

before my ß ight.”

“Good luck in Detroit. They won’t know what hit them.”

Rachel grinned, looking relaxed and conÞ dent, and Leslie knew it was only

partly Rachel’s exhilaration about the upcoming legal challenge. Rachel had

awakened Leslie at Þ rst light, caressing her into awareness and fondling her to

a shattering orgasm just as Leslie had come fully awake. While Leslie was still

reeling with aftershocks, Rachel had urgently guided Leslie’s Þ ngers into her,

coming hard before rising hurriedly to shower. Rachel made love like she did

everything else, expertly and efÞ ciently.

“It will be quick, but not necessarily painless.” Rachel’s eyes gleamed as she

checked her watch. “I’ve got to run, but this little side trip was just what I

needed. You were wonderful.” She started the car and Leslie stepped back.

“I’ll call you later this week and let you know my schedule. Bye, darling.”

“Goodbye,” Leslie said softly.

Rachel wheeled rapidly out of the parking lot, and Leslie slowly climbed the

path back to the lodge. Through the screen door, she heard her mother setting

out the buffet in the dining room, but she didn’t go inside. Eileen had offered her

breakfast earlier when she and Rachel had stopped by the kitchen for coffee,

but she wasn’t hungry then. She still wasn’t. Instead, she sat down in the same

wicker chair where she’d

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WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

waited for Rachel the evening before. It didn’t seem possible that it had only

been twelve hours ago. Her mind was on overload trying to process everything

that had happened.

It didn’t seem possible that it had taken her all this time to discover that sex and

work were the only two things that connected her to Rachel. She searched her