memory for the last time she and Rachel had talked about anything that wasn’t a

legal case, or an evening they’d spent together that had been more than a few

hours of intense sex and exhausted sleep. She couldn’t come up with one.

“I noticed you like quite a bit of cream in your coffee,” Eileen said, sliding a mug

onto the table next to Leslie before sitting down in the other chair. “Hope I got

that right.”

“Thanks.” Leslie smiled wanly. “I’ve been trying to cut down on my caffeine. I’ll

probably get clogged arteries instead.”

“Rachel’s gone?”

Leslie nodded, her throat tight.

“I didn’t see Dev last night at the party.”

“She didn’t stay long,” Leslie said softly.

“I’m sure there’s a better way to go about this, but I don’t know what it is.”

Eileen sighed. “You look terribly unhappy. What’s wrong?”

Leslie drew one leg up onto the chair and bent forward to rest her chin on her

knee. The sun had crested the trees and bathed the porch in warm morning

sunlight. “I think I’ve really screwed up my relationship with Rachel.”

There was a beat of silence, then Eileen said, “How so?”

Leslie shook her head. She wasn’t about to say that she’d had sex with Rachel

when a big part of her hadn’t really wanted to and that when she’d opened her

eyes that morning in the middle of a screaming orgasm, she’d wanted it to be

Dev who was making her come. “Never mind. God, I can’t talk about it with

you.”

“Something you think a mother couldn’t possibly understand?”

“Something like that.”

“Maybe you should talk to Dev about it.”

“Why?” Leslie said sharply.

Eileen rose and stroked Leslie’s hair. “Because now I’ve seen you with both of

them, and I haven’t changed my mind about which one you’re in love with.”

Leslie said nothing, but she feared her mother was right.

• 205 •

RADCLY fFE

v

Dev turned into the parking lot and saw Leslie piling luggage into the Jeep. The

sight made her feel as if she’d swallowed a ball of lead.

Twenty minutes ago she’d had such an intense sense of foreboding surge up out

of nowhere that she’d dropped everything at the lab and rushed back to the

lodge. The entire trip back she’d been sick thinking that Leslie had already left.

Now she wasn’t sure it was such a good idea she’d come back.

Nevertheless, she climbed out of the truck and crossed the steaming blacktop to

Leslie’s side. Leslie looked fresh in an outÞ t similar to the one she’d worn the

night before. Dev Þ gured she must look like shit because she’d slept in her

clothes. “When are you leaving?”

Leslie regarded her steadily, absurdly happy to see her, even if she had no idea

what she was going to do about anything. “In about an hour.”

“Can you take a walk with me?”

“All right.”

Silently, Dev led the way down a narrow, pine-needle-strewn footpath that led

to the lake on the opposite side of the lodge from the cabins. No one ever came

down there. On the shore, she stopped at the foot of a huge outcropping of

rocks as big as Volkswagens. She held out her hand. “The footing’s going to be

tricky in what you’ve got on.”

Wordlessly, Leslie took Dev’s hand and carefully climbed to the top. The rocks

were pitted from years of weather and strewn with patches of moss. She’d

sunbathed on these rocks when she’d been a child. She sat down next to Dev

and watched a sailboat glide by on the lake.

After a moment, Dev shifted to look into Leslie’s face. “I’m sorry about last

night, Les.”

“I was afraid it would be just like the last time,” Leslie said, feeling so weary. So

very nearly empty. “You were so angry. I was afraid you’d go off half-crazy and

get careless and hurt yourself.”

“I did.” One corner of Dev’s mouth lifted in a tired grin. “I slept on a couch that

had the consistency of a slab of granite.”

Leslie laughed softly. “You look terrible.”

“I feel terrible.” Dev lifted a hand to stroke Leslie’s cheek, then stopped a

breath away. “I…Jesus. I’m so sorry I lost my temper. Did I hurt you?”

• 206 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

“No.” There were Þ ngerprint bruises on the crest of both of Leslie’s shoulders.

She’d seen them in the mirror when she’d showered that morning. It was funny.

Rachel never noticed.

“I don’t want you to leave thinking I blame you for anything,”

Dev said, taking Leslie’s hand before she realized she’d even done it.

“What happened when we were kids—that’s long over. Seeing you again just

brought up a lot of old stuff. It kind of put me into a spin.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I need to tell you something.” Dev had woken up feeling numb, but she was

pretty sure that as soon as it hit her that Leslie was really gone, a lot of places

inside were going to hurt for a long time. But she’d promised herself she wasn’t

going to talk about that now. She’d burned up the road to get back to the lodge

because she didn’t want to let anger and pain be their last memory. This time

when they parted, she wanted the love and friendship that they’d shared to be

what they remembered.

“Yesterday you said…” Dev’s throat constricted unexpectedly and she looked

quickly away, blinking rapidly. After a second, when she was certain she could

hold it together, she met Leslie’s gaze again.

“You said I was special to you—back then.”

“You were the bravest, the strongest, the most wonderful person in my life.”

Leslie’s hands shook as she enfolded Dev’s in both of hers.

Raising Dev’s Þ ngers to her lips, she kissed them.

“Les,” Dev murmured, rubbing her thumb gently below Leslie’s eyes as tears fell

like raindrops. “Don’t do that. It’s okay now.”

Shaking her head, Leslie took a shuddering breath. “No one has ever known me

the way you did.”

“Loving you is the best thing I ever did. Being special to you is what made me

strong.” Dev got to her knees and cradled Leslie’s face gently between her

hands. She leaned down and kissed her softly, a gentle lingering kiss that spoke

of all the things she’d feared to say when she’d been young, and had never

wanted to say to anyone else. “I love you, and I’ll never be sorry for that.”

Leslie wrapped her arms around Dev’s shoulders, one hand stroking her hair,

the other her back. She knew this woman, this body, this heart in a place deep

inside that no one else had ever touched.

“I love you too,” Leslie whispered, brushing her mouth over Dev’s neck to seal

the taste of her in her heart.

Dev slid down off the rock and held out her arms. Leslie grasped

• 207 •

RADCLY fFE

her hands and climbed down beside her, then linked Þ ngers as they stood

together by the lake that had been the backdrop to all their precious moments.

After a minute, Dev said, “Whenever I see the lake at dawn, or walk in the

woods in the moonlight, or wake up in the morning to birdsong, I’m going to

think about you.” She stroked Leslie’s cheek, then kissed her one last time.

“Look me up if you ever get tired of Manhattan.”

“I will,” Leslie whispered, backing away until their hands no longer touched. She

left Dev standing by the lake and went back to her life.

• 208 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Leslie’s BlackBerry vibrated just as she stepped off the elevator into the parking

garage. She was tempted to ignore it because it was almost 8 p.m. and Rachel

was due at her apartment in thirty minutes. She’d just left the ofÞ ce, and if it

was anything important, whoever it was could e-mail her. Still, maybe it was

Rachel calling to cancel. She pulled the BlackBerry from her briefcase and her

heart gave a sudden lurch when she saw the number for the lodge on the

readout. Maybe it was Dev.

“Hello?”

“Hi, honey,” Eileen said. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, I was just leaving the ofÞ ce,” Leslie said, feeling foolish and disappointed

in equal measure. Why would Dev call her? They’d said everything there was to

say when they’d said goodbye.

“Still working late, I see.”

“This is pretty much the norm. Is everything okay?”

“Oh…yes. I hadn’t heard from you, and I just…I should let you go if you’re on

your way home.”

“No. It’s Þ ne. I meant to call, but it’s just been crazy since I got back.” Leslie

unlocked her car, tossed her briefcase onto the passenger seat, and put the key

in the ignition. It had taken her the better part of a week to catch up and another

to get ahead of the game. If she was going to take time off at the end of the

summer to go home again, she had to plan for it now. Besides, two weeks of

nonstop work had helped take her mind off everything that happened at the

lake, at least for a few hours at a time. As soon as she was alone and not

working, though, she


thought about Dev. Sadness washed through her and she focused on the call.

“How’s Daddy?”

“Grumpy.”

Leslie laughed. “Can’t you Þ nd something for him to do? He must be driving

you nuts.”

“He is, but he’s Þ nally able to get down to the boathouse, and that helps.”

There was a beat of silence, then Eileen said casually, “How’s Rachel?”

“Fine, I think.” Leslie started the car and switched to the hands-free mic. “She

got back in town last week but we’ve both been too busy to get together. In

fact, she should be on her way over to my place right now.”

“Well then, I deÞ nitely don’t want to keep you.”

Leslie felt a quick clench of anxiety and just as quickly forced it away. Maybe

she should talk it over with her mother. No, she’d thought things through, and

she was sure. It wouldn’t be easy, but she’d done harder things in her life. At

least, she wanted to tell herself she had.

“How’s Dev?” Leslie asked, slowing so she could run her ID card through the

box at the security gate.

“I haven’t seen her very much since you left. Every now and then I’ll catch her

at breakfast or dinner. She looks tired. I guess she’s working hard too.”

Leslie considered how she would phrase the next question. “How is the tourist

business? Has Natalie said anything about the campsites being full?”

“I haven’t had much chance to talk to her, either. I’ve seen her once or twice

with Dev.”

“At the lodge?” Leslie probed. For dinner? For breakfast?

“Mmm. Are you driving right now?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then I’m going to go. You need to pay attention to what you’re doing, Leslie.”

Leslie smiled. “I know, Mom. I’m trying.”

“All right, then. Call sometime. I miss you.”

“Me too,” Leslie said softly.


“Let me see if I understand this correctly,” Rachel said, appraising Leslie

steadily over the top of her wineglass. Sitting forward on Leslie’s sofa, she took

another sip of her Pinot Noir, then cradled the crystal goblet between her long,

elegant Þ ngers. “You’re telling me you want to change the terms of our

relationship, but you’re not involved with anyone else?”

“That’s right,” Leslie said quietly.

Rachel tapped a Þ nger on her glass. “You’re not sleeping with anyone else, but

you want to stop sleeping with me.”

“Yes.”

“Forgive me if I’m being dense,” Rachel said, “because I was under the

impression that we got along very well, in and out of the bedroom. But most

deÞ nitely in the bedroom.”

“We do.” Leslie knew this was going to be difÞ cult to explain.

Not because she expected Rachel to lose her temper or create a scene, but

because Leslie had never indicated that she wanted her relationship with Rachel

to be more than what it was. And she hadn’t, not until she’d felt what love was