face with her other hand. She grinned with satisfaction, watching Dev Þ ght for

breath. Dev was covered in sweat, her body gleaming in the lamplight.

“You’re so beautiful, Dev.” Leslie stared at the scar that ran from Dev’s

hipbone down the outside of her thigh. She kissed the damaged skin. “I love

you.”

“Come up here.” Dev struggled to sit up, extending one hand. “Let me hold

you.”

“Lie down. You’re supposed to be basking.”

“I’ll bask when I can hold you.”

Leslie settled against Dev’s side, her head on Dev’s shoulder.

Languidly, she stroked Dev’s chest and abdomen. “You make me feel sexy.”

Dev laughed incredulously. “I make you feel sexy? After that little display? I

didn’t do anything except let you have your way with me.”

“Mmm, that’s what I mean.” Leslie tilted her head and kissed Dev’s neck. “I

feel a hundred feet tall when I make you come.”

“I know,” Dev said, kissing Leslie’s forehead. “It’s the same for me when I

touch you.”

“It’s addicting.” Leslie propped her head in her hand, idly teasing Dev’s nipple

with a Þ ngertip. “I want you again.”

Dev hissed in her breath. “I might not survive the night.”

“You better.”

“Oh yeah?” Dev tapped Leslie’s chin. “Are you a morning girl?”

Leslie grew still, thinking that she really had no idea. She’d never been this way

with anyone. She’d never wanted so intensely, never hungered with an ache that

felt as if it would never be Þ lled. She’d never wanted to possess anyone this

way. “I think with you I’m a 24-7

kind of girl. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Not in this lifetime.”

Dev rolled onto her side until she faced Leslie. She kissed her, and what she’d

meant to be a kiss of reassurance rapidly turned into one of desire. She kept

kissing her as she slipped her Þ ngers between Leslie’s legs, knowing she hadn’t

come. Knowing she must still need to. When Leslie moaned, Dev guided her

onto her back, stroking inside her mouth with the same sure, steady rhythm as

between her legs.

Leslie whimpered, her tongue probing, her Þ ngers digging into Dev’s shoulders.


Feeling Leslie tense, her pelvis thrusting against Dev’s hand, Dev slid inside her.

She stayed motionless, buried deep within, letting Leslie set the pace. As Leslie

came, she jerked her head away, Þ nally breaking the kiss and releasing a long,

thin cry of pleasure.

“Oh God,” Leslie Þ nally gasped. “That’s it. You’re cut off until I have food.”

She nuzzled Dev’s neck drowsily. “We didn’t have dinner, remember?”

“So you’re going to stand me up for food?” Dev grinned, kissed Leslie lightly on

the tip of the nose, and jumped from bed.

“Where are you going?” Leslie sat up, pulling the sheets up to her waist. “Dev?”

Dev rummaged in the desk and returned with a leather folder in her hand. She

pulled the phone closer to the bed as she climbed back in next to Leslie. “Room

service.”

“Sweetheart, it’s four thirty in the morning.”

“So?” Dev found the menu and ß ipped to the all-night section.

“We’re in New York City. The kitchens never close.” She studied the page as

Leslie curled up in her lap. “How about burgers and champagne?

Will that do?”

“Dev,” Leslie said quietly.

“Hmm?” Dev curled one arm around Leslie’s shoulders and propped the menu

on her raised knee. “And maybe some chocolate cake.”

“Do you think it’s possible for us never to leave this room?”

Dev laughed. “I can probably stay another night. I’ll call in the morning about…”

She trailed off and closed the menu. Her face lost all expression. “When do you

have to leave?”

“I’ve got appointments scheduled midmorning,” Leslie said. Her heart beat

wildly, not from passion, but from fear. It had only been a few hours, a few

hours of unexpected and indescribable happiness, and now she felt it slipping

away. “I’m going to have to go in sometime today. Tomorrow. God, whenever

it is. I’ll call Þ rst thing and try to rearrange some of my meetings.”

“Leslie,” Dev said with a sigh. “You shouldn’t do that.”

Dev leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. The heavy drapes were still

closed, the bedside lamp turned down low. It was almost dawn, but it felt as if

they were cocooned in a time capsule, and if they just stayed there, kept the

door closed and the rest of the world outside,


they could keep this precious connection safe. She knew it wasn’t true.

As much as her heart wanted to believe, she knew they couldn’t hide from who

they were or how vastly different their lives were. “We’ve got a few more hours.

Let’s just make the most of them.”

Leslie sat up and swiveled on the bed until she faced Dev. “And that’s it? You

go back to Lake George and we write this off as a one-nighter that’s just Þ

fteen years overdue?”

“Hey,” Dev said gently, cupping Leslie’s cheek. “You know that’s not what this

is.”

“No, Dev, I don’t.” Leslie shook her head. “I don’t know what this is. I didn’t

expect to be here tonight. All I know is I had to see you because I couldn’t stop

thinking about you for the last four weeks.”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I was seventeen years old, Les.”

Leslie ß inched, but she kept her voice steady. “All right. I deserved that.”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Dev pushed a hand through her hair.

“Jesus, this isn’t coming out right.” She took Leslie’s hand and rubbed her

cheek against the back of Leslie’s Þ ngers. “I haven’t wanted to care about

anyone since the night I drove away from your house on my bike. I’ve been

empty inside all this time. Except for how much I hurt missing you.”

“Oh, God, Dev.”

“It’s okay.” Dev grinned crookedly. “Well, after tonight, it’s a hell of a lot better

than it ever was. I’ve never felt anything like tonight.

When we were kids and I was kissing you and Mike found us, I felt like I did

tonight. Like you were all I needed to be whole. You were everything I needed,

and then I lost you.”

Tears streaked down Leslie’s cheeks and Dev brushed them gently away.

“When we made love tonight,” Dev said, her throat so tight she could hardly get

the words out, “I felt that way again. You Þ ll me up, you heal everything that

ever hurt.” Dev bowed her head over Leslie’s hand, closing her eyes. “Tonight

was worth any amount of pain, but I can’t keep living day after day wanting

you.” She raised her eyes, unable to hide the agony of loss she knew was

coming. “I’ll never regret tonight, but I have to accept it was just one perfect

night that ends in the morning, or I’m not going to make it. I can’t keep living

while I’m dying for you.”


Leslie’s hands were shaking as she caressed her Þ ngers through Dev’s hair,

then cradled her face. She leaned close and kissed her. “For a long time, I tried

to pretend that you and I were just really, really good friends. The best of

friends.” She laughed, the sound ending in a sob.

“And oh God, we were, weren’t we? Friends and so much more. I was so

crazy in love with you back then.”

“Yeah.” Dev caressed Leslie’s arm. “Yeah, me too.”

“And after that horrible night with Mike, I couldn’t face my own cowardice and

I tried to hide it all away by pretending I didn’t feel what I felt for you. And

when I Þ nally did admit I was a lesbian, I still wouldn’t let anyone be important

to me. Not the way you were.”

“Rachel?”

Leslie shook her head. “I cared about her. But I didn’t need her and I didn’t

want her to need me. There were a few others, always the same. I kept

everyone a safe distance away.”

“When I saw you at the train station, it was like those Þ fteen years didn’t exist,”

Dev said. “When I kiss you, when we make love, I can almost believe it, almost.

But I know it’s not true. You have your life.

We both do. Different lives.”

“I just found you,” Leslie whispered. “I’m not going to lose you again. I love

you.”

Dev swallowed hard, trying to hold everything inside, but she just couldn’t. Her

body, her soul, her heart were too open after hours of loving Leslie. She’d let

her inside the places no one had ever touched before, and now she was

defenseless. She pulled Leslie close and buried her face against Leslie’s neck,

her shoulders shaking as she sobbed.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Fuck, I’m so scared.”

“It’s okay,” Leslie soothed, stroking Dev’s head. “It’s okay, love.

I promise.” She wasn’t sure how she would make it all right, but she knew she

had to. “Will you just do one thing for me?”

Sitting up, Dev took a shuddering breath and rubbed her forearm across her

face. “Anything.”

“Let tonight be beautiful, because it is.” She kissed Dev tenderly.

“We both know what we had. Let’s see what we can have. Don’t give up, Dev.

Please.”

Dev closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Leslie’s. “Will you call

me?”

“Of course.” Leslie knew then that Dev didn’t trust her not to disappear. And

why should she? She’d done it before. More than


once. “I’m coming back up to the lake in a month. If I can get back sooner—”

“No, a month is good.” Dev raised her head, a smile ß ickering valiantly. “I

probably need a little time to get my heart rate back to normal. And tell me

you’re not busy here.”

Leslie sighed. “I’m swamped. But I can handle it—”

“Oh, yeah. You can handle it. That’s why you collapsed—what—

six weeks ago, from stress and overwork?”

“I’m Þ ne now,” Leslie said Þ rmly. “I am. Really. I’m taking the goddamn

pills.”

“No symptoms at all?”

“Dev, love, if I was going to have an episode, I would’ve had it sometime

tonight.” Leslie kissed Dev swiftly. “My heart’s had quite a workout.”

Dev couldn’t hide a pleased grin. “All the same, you just got back.

I’ll see you in a few weeks and…we’ll see.”

“You’ll be there when I come up, right?”

Dev nodded.

“Promise?”

Dev held Leslie tightly and tried not to think it might be one of the last times. “I

promise.”


CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Mom?” Leslie called as she walked into the dining room at Lakeview and

dropped her suitcase on the ß oor. “Anybody here?”

“Leslie?” Eileen called from the top of the second-ß oor staircase.

Leslie stopped and craned her neck, smiling when she saw her mother. “Hi.”

“You’re early,” Eileen said, her pleasure obvious as she descended to the

ground ß oor. “I didn’t expect you until tomorrow.”

“I got things wrapped up early this week and decided to come up today.” She

tried to sound casual and not like she couldn’t wait one more day to see Dev,

which was the real reason she’d left Manhattan at noon on Thursday instead of

waiting until Friday as planned. She and Dev had talked on the phone a few

times in the last month, but their schedules rarely meshed and the conversations

always seemed rushed and superÞ cial. At least, she hoped it was because they

hadn’t had much time to connect. Dev had sounded distant, and there had been

no mention of the night they’d spent together. Or whether there would be any

more.

“Well, I hope you intend to actually rest this weekend. I’m not going to let you

work the whole time.”

“I’m still going to help close up. But,” Leslie hastened to add when she saw her

mother frown, “I promise to relax too.”

After giving Leslie a hug, Eileen pointed to Leslie’s luggage. “Do you want a

room upstairs since you’re only going to be here a few days?”


“Uh,” Leslie said, feeling her face color, “I’d rather have the same cabin I had