Sandi Lynn - When I Lie With You

“No. Actually, I can’t have any wine for a while.”

“Why’s that?” he asked.

I looked at Ian and he was giving me a stern look. I didn’t care. Fuck him and his looks. I was done with him at this point.

“Because I’m pregnant.” I smiled.

“That’s wonderful news! Congratulations, my friend.” Andre smiled as he shook Ian’s hand. You will have the most beautiful children.”

Ian partially smiled and then looked at me with anger in his eyes. I raised my eyebrow at him as I smiled. We had a very uncomfortable dinner and then we headed home.

The next week was hard. Ian and I hadn’t spoken one word to each other since the restaurant. He slept in our bed and I slept in the other room. I spent the days with Andre while Ian was at Prim. I kept Adalynn informed of how things were going because she kept texting me and telling me how worried she was about me. I told her that I was fine and to stop worrying. It was Andre’s last night with us and we were taking him out to dinner. Ian was in the bedroom getting changed. He was in the closet in his boxers and nothing else. I missed him. I missed making love to him and I missed feeling loved. He turned and looked at me.

I stepped into my side of the closet and grabbed my black dress. I took off my shirt and shorts and laid my dress on the bed. I glanced in the full-length mirror and noticed my stomach was already swollen. It was too soon to start showing. Ian walked over and looked at me and then down at my stomach. I quickly turned away because I didn’t need him making a remark about it.

“How far along are you?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“How can you not know? Haven’t you been to the doctor?”

“Yeah. I think I’m about six weeks.”

“It looks like you’re already starting to show. Isn’t it a little early for that?”

I turned around and looked at him as I took in a deep breath. “You haven’t spoken two words to me in a week and now you want to carry on a conversation about me showing? I already told you that you’re off the hook, Braxton.”

One…two…three. Here it comes. Fuck…fuck…fuck. I couldn’t hold back. “In fact, I’ll be moving out soon, so you don’t have to look at me or my stomach and be reminded how I fucked up your life. You’re free to go back to the way things used to be. In fact, why don’t you give Andrew a call? Maybe the two of you bastards could rekindle your man-whore relationship.”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” he yelled through gritted teeth as he gently took hold of my arm. “I have heard enough of that smart ass mouth of yours. If you want to move out, then fine. Go. I don’t care anymore, Rory.”

“And I don’t care either! Tell Andre that I’m not feeling well and I won’t be able to go to dinner,” I said with tears in my eyes.

Ian

As Andre and I sat in the booth, we talked about Rory and the baby. I was honest with him and told him that I didn’t want it.

“Ian, my friend. You’re going to be a father. One of the greatest gifts of all. God has given you a gift.”

“I didn’t ask for it and I certainly don’t want it.”

“Why are you scared? Do you know what I’d give to have a woman like Rory and a baby on the way? Family is what life’s all about.”

“Not my life, Andre. Not my life,” I said as I swirled the brown liquid in the glass and downed it like a shot.

“I think you need to go talk to that therapist Rory was seeing. You need to get yourself straightened out. Your judgment is clouded, my friend. For some reason, you can’t see the best thing that’s in front of you. What’s it going to take this time to make you see that Rory and your baby are the most important things in your life?”

I looked down because I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I just wanted it all to go away. We finished our dinner and went back to the house. It was late. Andre went up to his room and I went to check on Rory. When I opened the door, she wasn’t in bed. I searched the house for her and she wasn’t anywhere to be found. I tried to call her phone and it went straight to voicemail. I walked back upstairs to her room and saw her phone lying on the nightstand. I went to the garage and her car was gone. I immediately flew up the stairs and to our bedroom. I opened the closet doors and let out a sigh of relief when I saw all her clothes hanging there. I grabbed my keys and drove to the Piano Bar. I bet that was where she went. As I walked through the doors, I looked around, but didn’t see her. Jimmy was over by the piano, so I walked over and asked him if Rory was there or had been there tonight. He gave me a worried look and told me no.

“Is something going on, Ian?” he asked.

“We just had a disagreement and now I can’t find her. She left her phone at home.”

“Is there a special place she goes to when you two have an argument?”

I stood there and thought about it for a minute. She usually went down to the beach, but I checked and she wasn’t there. Then it hit me.

“Thank you, Jimmy. I think I know where she is.”

I left the bar and drove to the place I was pretty sure she was at. When I pulled up to the curb, I saw her lying there, on the ground, in front of Stephen’s grave. I got out of the car and walked over to her, only to find her asleep. When I carefully picked her up, she opened her eyes and looked at me. Her eyes looked red and swollen as if she’d been crying for hours.

“What are you doing?” she asked in a whisper.

“Taking you home.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my chest. I put her in the car and drove home. I picked her up from the seat, carried her upstairs, and laid her down in our bed.

The next morning, Rory was up and showered before the alarm went off. After I finished getting dressed, I joined her and Andre downstairs for breakfast. She looked at me when I entered the dining room and quickly looked down. I didn’t want to say anything about last night in front of Andre.

“Good morning,” I said.

Andre replied with a good morning and Rory didn’t say anything. I sat down while Mandy poured some coffee in my cup.

“Joshua will drive you to the airport.”

“Thank you, Ian. I appreciate it.”

I finished up my coffee and muffin and looked at my watch. “Well, it was great to see you, Andre. Have a safe flight home and keep in touch,” I said as we hugged lightly.

“Thank you for taking me into your beautiful home. Good luck with everything.”

I left and headed to Prim. When I arrived at the office, I sent Rory a text message.

“We need to talk about last night.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I visited my brother’s grave and fell asleep. Leave it alone,” she replied back.

I sighed as I threw my phone across the desk. This situation was getting worse by the minute. My phone began to ring and when I picked it up, I saw that Adalynn was calling. Great. I knew exactly why she was calling.

“Hello, Adalynn. How’s the honeymoon going?”

“Don’t you think for one minute that I don’t know what’s going on between you and Rory,” she yelled into the phone.

“Adalynn, I’m in no mood for this right now.”

“I don’t care. You’re an asshole, Ian. As much as I hate to say this, you’re worse than Andrew and I didn’t think that was possible. What the hell is the matter with you? What demons are you hiding?”

I rolled my eyes before answering her. “This is none of your concern. Rory knew exactly how I felt about having children and she let me down. I can’t be a father to that baby, Adalynn. You know me.”

“I thought I knew you, Ian. I thought you were a better person than that. I guess it’s true what they say: a leopard can’t change its spots. You’re a perfect asshole example of that. I’m ashamed of you, Braxton.” Click.

As I shook my head, I threw my phone across my desk and cupped my face in my hands. What the fuck was I going to do? I loved Rory. She changed me. Or at least, I thought she had. I had my reasons for not wanting this child. Reasons I wouldn’t admit. It was better for the baby that I was not in its life.

Rory

A couple of weeks had passed and Ian and I were still a mess. We did sleep in the same bed, but he stayed on his side and I stayed on mine. My pants were getting hard to fit into and it seemed like I was getting bigger every day. Ian left for the office every morning and I stayed in bed until he left. He didn’t call or text and he didn’t come home until late. This relationship had fallen so far out of reach that it was time for me to move out and get on with my life; just me and my baby.

I spent the day looking online for apartments out of state. I didn’t know where I wanted to go, but I knew I couldn’t stay in California. It would be too painful. I would be able to afford my own place for a while, but I would have to start looking for a job. The money Ian put in my bank account wouldn’t last forever. I had decided that when the baby was born, I wasn’t putting Ian’s name down as the father. He didn’t want anything to do with this baby, so I was going to make sure there were no ties to him at all. As I searched online, my phone chimed with a text message from Andre.

“How’s my beautiful American girl? Is Ian still being a dick? If so, move to Paris and I will take care of you and your baby.”

I smiled when I read his text. He was such a sweet and great friend. But that was all he was.

“Thank you, Andre. I’m okay and yes, Ian is still being a dick. I would love to move to Paris and I’ve considered it, but I would never allow you to take care of me and the baby.”

“Friends, Rory. Friends take care of each other. I would see to it that you got a job and I could help out while you’re at work. Give it some thought. Raising a baby here would be a wonderful life.”

“I’ll give it some thought. Thank you, Andre.”

“You’re welcome. Take care of yourself and your beautiful American baby.”

I continued looking at the map of the United States to figure out where I wanted to move. Maybe Paris wasn’t such a bad idea after all. I wouldn’t be completely alone there with Andre, and I loved Paris. I could rent a furnished apartment and not have to worry about moving anything but my suitcase. I could buy all of the baby things I needed once I got there. It was settled; I was moving to Paris. I purchased a one-way ticket for the day after tomorrow.

I went to the bedroom and pulled the suitcase out of the closet. I figured it would be best to start packing. As I began to pack, Ian walked into the bedroom.

“What are you doing?” he asked sternly.

“I’m packing because I’m moving.”

“Where are you moving to?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business. You will never see me again once I leave. It will be easy for you to get back to your normal life and forget that you ever met me.”

“Bullshit! It is my business,” he yelled. “That’s my baby you’re carrying.”

I turned around and stared him straight in the eyes. My blood was on fire and all I saw was red. “Your baby?!” I screamed. “The baby you don’t want and the baby you can’t be a father to? How dare you, after all these weeks of ignoring me and pushing me out of your life, you say that! Who the fuck do you think you are?!”

“Do you think that it’s going to be easy to forget you? To forget everything we’ve shared? You’ve hurt me deep down, Rory. You let me down,” he screamed.

“I let you down? No, it’s the other way around. You let me down, you heartless bastard!”

I was in tears and I was so angry. The words were on the tip of my tongue and they were about to spew out of my mouth. I shouldn’t have said it, but it was how I felt and I had no choice.

“I hate you, Ian Braxton. I want you out of my life. You don’t deserve someone like me. You deserve a ruthless, heartless bitch that you can control.”

He stood there in anger. “You’re right, Rory. It will be easy to forget you,” he said as he turned and started to walk out the door.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen and I let out a scream and doubled over. Ian turned around and looked at me.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he ran to me and took a hold of my arm.

“I have to go into the bathroom for a minute,” I said as a tear ran down my cheek.