Sandi Lynn - When I Lie With You

“Let me help you,” he said.

As I jerked my arm out of his grip, another pain shot through me. I doubled over again.

“Rory, sweetheart, please let me help you.”

“Stay the fuck away from me,” I whispered as I went into the bathroom and shut the door. I pulled down my pants and noticed there was blood. I started to panic. I opened the door and looked at Ian.

“I’m bleeding, Ian.”

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he said as he walked over, picked me up, and carried me to the car.

When we arrived at the hospital, Ian helped me out of the car and grabbed a wheelchair. Once I was registered and explained what was happening, the nurse immediately wheeled me up to Labor and Delivery.

“Hi there, Rory, I’m Carol, and I’m going to be taking care of you while you’re here. This must be Mr. Sinclair.” She smiled.

“No, I’m Ian Braxton, the baby’s father.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

I was consumed with worry as I changed into the cloth gown and lay down on the bed. Carol, the nurse, asked me some questions and took my vital signs.

“The doctor will be in shortly. I want you to stay calm and relaxed. The more relaxed you are, the better for the baby.” She smiled and then turned and walked out of the room.

Ian walked over and sat down in the chair next to the bed. He placed his hand on mine.

“Everything is going to be all right, Rory.”

“You don’t know that. You can’t tell me that. That’s what they said about Stephen and looked what happened.”

“Shh, sweetheart. Don’t get worked up.”

“You can leave now. I don’t want you here,” I lied.

I did want him there. I wanted him to hold me and kiss me and tell me that he loved me. But I knew he couldn’t do that as long as I was carrying his baby.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here with you. End of discussion.”

“I’m moving to Paris,” I blurted out.

“You mean you’re moving there to be with Andre.”

“NO! I’m moving there for you,” I said as I turned my head.

“For me? How the fuck is that for me?”

“So you won’t ever have to worry about running into me or the baby.”

“Rory,” he said as he grabbed my hand.

“The ticket is already bought. I leave the day after tomorrow.”

Just as Ian was about to say something, the doctor walked in.

“Hi, Rory, I’m Dr. Klein. When did your pain start?” he asked as he examined my stomach.

“A couple of hours ago,” I replied.

Dr. Klein asked Ian to step out of the room for a moment while he examined me. Ian got up and kissed my forehead.

“I’ll be right outside the door,” he said.

Dr. Klein finished up his examination and told Ian he could come back into the room.

“How is she?” he asked Dr. Klein.

“I’m going to do an ultrasound. Rory, have you been under a great deal of stress lately?”

I looked away from him and closed my eyes. That was when Ian spoke up.

“Yes, doctor, she has been under a lot of stress.”

“Well, the first thing you need to do is eliminate all stress.” Dr. Klein smiled.

“I will be in a couple of days,” I mumbled.

“I’ll send the nurse in to wheel you down to the ultrasound room and I’ll meet you in there.” He smiled as he walked out of the room.

Ian’s thumb was softly moving back and forth across my hand. “Why are you doing this?” I asked.

“Doing what?”

“Staying here. Are you hoping that I’ll lose the baby and then things can go back to normal with us?”

“How the hell could you even say something like that?” he sternly asked. “My God, Rory, I know you’re worried and upset, but that was totally out of line.”

“Whatever, Ian.”

Carol walked in and helped me into the wheelchair. Ian walked beside me as I was wheeled into the ultrasound room. She helped me onto the table and Dr. Klein walked in. Ian sat down in the chair on the other side of the table.

“Okay, let’s take a look at your baby.”

He squeezed the warm gel onto my stomach and began moving the wand around slowly. He stopped and pressed some keys on his keyboard.

“There’s your baby’s heartbeat. It’s a strong one too. That’s a good sign, Rory, and there’s your baby.”

Ian grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I turned my head and looked at him. He was staring intently at the monitor.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Dr. Klein said.

“What. What is it, doctor?” Ian asked before I had the chance to.

Dr. Klein turned his head and looked at both of us. “See this right here?” he asked. “That’s another baby. Congratulations, you’re having twins.”

I swear my heart stopped beating when he said that. I was speechless. I didn’t dare look at Ian because he was already pissed about one baby and now there were two. Oh my God, I was going to be a single parent to twins, just like my mother.

“Rory,” Ian said.

I turned my head and he kissed my lips and smiled. I didn’t know what was going on and I didn’t want to know. All I could focus on at that moment were my babies.

“Everything looks good with the babies. I don’t see any problems. I’m going to send you home and I want you on complete bed rest for the next forty-eight hours. There is to be no stress in your life during the next six and a half months. Do you understand?” Dr. Klein asked.

“Yes, doctor.” I smiled.

“Good. I’ll take you back to your room and I’ll get your discharge papers ready. I’m going to contact your OB doctor and tell him what’s going on and I want you to make a follow up visit with him next week.”

Ian took my hand and helped me from the table and into the wheelchair. Dr. Klein took me back to the room and I sat on the end of the bed, waiting for him to come back with the paperwork. Ian was quiet and I was worried. He stood in front of the window and looked out onto the beautiful day. Suddenly, he spoke.

“I guess this means you won’t be moving to Paris the day after tomorrow. You heard the doctor, you are to be on bed rest for the next forty-eight hours, so that means no Paris.”

“We’ll see,” I said.

He turned around and looked at me. “You’re wrong, Rory. There is no ‘we’ll see.’” He walked over and sat down next to me on the bed. He put his arm around me and pulled me close to him, kissing the side of my head. “It’s not a request. It’s a command, Rory.”

I didn’t respond. I sat there enjoying the warmth of him and the tender touch of his lips pressed against my head. I missed him so much and every time he touched me, I became weak for him. But this wasn’t about me anymore. I had two babies to think about. I pulled away from him.

“Rory, what the hell?” he exclaimed.

I remained calm for the sake of my babies. I pointed my finger at him and spoke softly.

“You don’t get to do this anymore. You don’t get to comfort me whenever it suits you. I needed you the past few weeks and you totally shut me out. You hurt me in ways that I never thought possible. You were the only person in my life I needed the most and you turned your back on me. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for that. I’m sorry, but I’m still moving to Paris,” I said with tears in my eyes.

He didn’t say a word, but his eyes started to fill with tears. He got up from the bed and headed towards the door.

“I’m going to pull the car up. I’ll meet you downstairs,” he said with his back turned.

A few moments later, Carol came into the room with the papers for me to sign. She helped me into the wheelchair and wheeled me down to the exit where Ian had the car waiting along the curb. He got out and opened the door as I climbed in. The ride home was silent.

Ian and Rory

My mind was filled with excitement and yet confusion. Twins. I should have known. Rory said she’d never forgive me. What the fuck am I going to do? Seeing my babies on that screen changed me. I couldn’t live without Rory. I needed her and I needed my children. I was wrong before. I got scared and I basically ran. I shut down and I shut her out. Give me those moments back and I’d change everything. The thought of her moving to Paris consumed me and was basically killing me. I felt like I was slowly dying inside and I needed to make things right. We pulled up in the driveway and Rory opened the door before I even had a chance to take the keys out of the ignition. She walked into the house and began walking up the stairs. I felt like she was walking away from me forever and it was too much to bear. Everything I feared flooded my mind at the same time and I couldn’t control it. I began to sob and fell to my knees in the foyer. Rory turned around and stared at me from the stairs.

“Please, Rory. Please forgive me. I can’t bear to lose you or my children. I need you,” I sobbed as I placed my hands in front of me on the floor.

Rory

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I walked over and put my arm around him.

“Ian, stop,” I whispered.

He turned his head and looked at me. I’d never seen him like this before. His eyes were soaked with tears.

“It’s okay,” I said as I kissed his head.

“No, it’s not okay, Rory,” he continued to cry.

We both stood up as he picked me up and carried me up the stairs. He stopped in the hallway and leaned me up against the wall, burying his head into my neck and sobbing like a baby. The only thing I could do was comfort him. I hugged him tightly as we both fell to the ground. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I began to cry with him as he poured his feelings into me.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know I’ve overused that in our relationship, but I am. I need you to forgive me for everything. I was scared to be a father because my father wasn’t exactly a good role model and I didn’t want my child to turn out like me. I was so scared that I would fuck him up and his life and I couldn’t bear the thought of that. I’m so scared that I’m going to be a bad father and that’s why I pushed you away. Just like I did before you went off to Paris. I was so scared of loving you. I’m not a man, Rory, I’m a coward. And you’re right, I don’t deserve a woman like you. I don’t blame you for hating me. I hate me.”

My heart broke, hearing his words. “I don’t hate you, Ian. I could never hate you. I was angry, so angry.”

“I know you were and I’m so sorry. I would give anything to go back in time and start over. I need your love, sweetheart. I’m nothing without it.”

The tears poured from my eyes. “You have my love, Ian. I love you so much,” I said as I cupped his face in my hands.

“I can’t live without you. I want our family. Please say you’ll stay with me and not move to Paris. I love you so much, Rory, and I love our babies,” he said as he put his hands on my stomach. “I need all three of you.”

“We need you too, baby,” I cried.

Ian hugged me and we both stood up. He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom, kissing me the whole way down the hall. He laid me down on the bed and hovered over me, kissing me passionately.

“I want to make love to you so bad, but I know we have to wait. I miss you, sweetheart,” he said as he lay next to me and I curled up into him. “This is good enough. I just want to hold you forever. No more stress, sweetheart. I promise you there will be no more stress.”

I looked up at him and softly kissed his lips. “Twins, really?” I laughed.

A large smile grew across his face. “Two beautiful gifts from God is what they are.”

Ian

“When I saw them on the monitor, they became so real to me. Little human beings are growing inside you, Rory. I’m sorry it had to come to this for me to realize what a bastard I am,” I said as I tightened my grip around her. “Adalynn told me off. She hates me now.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Ian. She’s probably upset with you, and you know we say things we don’t mean when we’re angry.”

I sighed. She was right and I was going to spend the rest of my life making everything right for Rory and my family. She got up from the bed and I grabbed her hand.

“Hey, you aren’t allowed out of bed.”

“I’m only changing into my nightshirt. I’m really uncomfortable in these pants.”

I watched her as she changed out of her clothes and slipped into her nightshirt. She was so beautiful and I missed her amazing body more than I’d ever thought I could. I sat up so my back was against the headboard of our bed and I spread my legs, inviting her to lie between them.