Kendall Ryan - When We Fall

“You have any cash on you?”

I nodded.

“Perfect. Come on.”

Luke and I rose from the couch and followed Jaxon to the dining room table. Luke tugged on my wrist, meeting my eyes with a solemn gaze. “You don’t have to play with him.”

“It’s fine.”

Honestly, the distraction of a game of cards sounded better than sitting on the couch moping and waiting for Knox to get home. And I liked the idea of getting to know Luke and Jaxon a little better. I hadn’t spent any quality time with just the three of us before. “Can we play with just three players?” I asked Jaxon, settling into the chair across from him.

“Yeah, shorthanded poker. Luke, Knox, and I play this way sometimes.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Knox and I don’t play with him anymore. He’s too good. Be careful, McKenna.”

I laughed. I couldn’t really see Jaxon trying to roll me for my money. I grabbed my wallet from my purse and set it on the table next to me. “I think I can handle myself.”

Jaxon smiled at me, a devilish grin that showed off one dimple. “I like the confidence. Game on, babe.”

Luke rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head.

I watched as Jaxon pulled a roll of bills from his pocket that was several inches thick. Whoa. Where had he gotten that kind of money? There had to be several hundred dollars there, and as far as I knew he didn’t have a job. Unless you counted breaking hearts and getting into fights. I averted my eyes from the stack of money he was shuffling through. It was his business.

Jaxon made quick work of changing my twenty-dollar bill into singles and passing the cash back to me. “Aren’t you getting in?” I asked Luke.

He shook his head. “I don’t play Jax for money anymore. Now we trade homework assignments.”

I guess that made sense. Luke was good at school and it seemed to come naturally for him. “Oh. Well, what do you get if you win?”

A confused look twisted his features. “I don’t know. I’ve never won.”

I watched in awe as Jaxon shuffled and dealt the cards. The way his fingers glided over the cards with ease told me he’d spent a fair amount of time playing, a little hidden talent I’d known nothing about. It seemed the more I got to know about these boys, the more they surprised me.

“So, where is Knox anyway?” Jaxon asked, dealing the last card.

While I arranged the cards in my hand, I explained about Amanda and how her water had broken on his bedroom floor.

Jaxon made a face and shuddered. “Nasty.” Luke’s expression was more one of concern. They couldn’t be more different if they tried.

I’d been dealt a decent hand—a pair of tens and a pair of sixes—and I tossed a few dollars into the center of the table. After seeing and raising, then noticing conspicuous looks from Luke, I called Jaxon and he turned over his cards for me. A full house. He took the bills from the center of the table and gave me a mocking look.

Throughout the game I continually glanced down at my phone, wondering what was happening at the hospital and when Knox would be home. I felt a little bad that I hadn’t been the one to go with Amanda. I was sure she could have used a female friend there, but someone had to stay here with Tucker, and knowing the state I’d been in, it made sense that person was me. Watching Spiderman with a cuddly eight-year-old was much less stressful than being a birth coach, I was sure.

While Jaxon easily won hand after hand, Luke delivered salty snacks and cold beverages to the table, as if pretzels and chips would make up for me getting my butt kicked by Jaxon.

As it turned out, I wasn’t as decent a poker player as I’d thought. Or Jaxon was just that good.

When my twenty dollars had dwindled down to two, I folded, laying my cards down on the table, then yawned. It was already after midnight. “You know there is such a thing as letting a girl win.” I smiled sweetly, handing over more singles.

“I respect you too much to treat you like an unequal opponent,” he said, sweet as pie.

“Yeah, sure you do.” I winked.

“Let’s just not tell Knox about this, okay?” Jaxon grinned, stacking his pile of newly acquired bills in front of him.

I chuckled. No doubt, Knox wouldn’t be happy about Jaxon swindling me in a game of poker. “I’m beat, guys. I think I’m gonna call it a night.”

One more quick check of my phone and still nothing from Knox. I considered calling him but decided against it. If he was helping Amanda during her labor, he’d have his hands full. Yet there was something that nagged at me. Her showing up here when she was in labor seemed a little odd to me. Maybe they’d grown closer while I was away. Pushing the thoughts aside, I rose from my seat and stretched. “’Night, guys.”

Luke and Jaxon kissed each of my cheeks and I climbed the stairs feeling happy and complete. Being near them made me feel like I was getting my second chance at a family.

Crawling into Knox’s bed alone felt strange. The bed was too big, too cold, and it made me yearn for his warmth. The one bonus was that the pillowcase smelled like him. Curling onto my side, I snuggled in closer, breathing in that delicious scent, and drifted off to sleep.

When Knox finally arrived home late the next morning, I’d already made a big pancake breakfast, cleaned up, and played an epic battle of superheroes with Tucker. Knox looked weary and tired, but most of all he looked traumatized.

I rushed to his side, cupping his cheeks in my hands. “Knox? The baby…?”

“Is fine. A little girl. Not quite five pounds. They have her in intensive care, but there’s not a thing wrong with her.”

“Wow. That’s great news. And Amanda?”

“She’s doing well. She was a trouper. It was a long labor. For all of us.”

“What’s wrong?” I took in his ragged appearance, the fine lines that seemed to have appeared overnight, and his pale skin tone. “You look…scarred for life.” I chuckled, giving his chest a pat.

He met my eyes, deep worry etched into his honey-brown stare. “No man should see the things I saw.”

I couldn’t help but giggle again at his obvious discomfort. Giving birth was a natural process, but apparently Knox and his poor eyeballs felt differently. “Did something…happen?”

Knox swallowed heavily. “I just…the things I saw…I can’t unsee that.” He made a face.

I gave his chest a playful shove. “I think you’ll live. Poor Amanda is the one who had to go through it all. Did she get pain medication?”

He nodded. “Yeah. She made it a good long while without any and then it got too bad. I called the nurse, and they put something in her back that made the pain go away.”

I smiled. Knox had proven he was a good friend and a good brother. But what I really wanted to know was if he could be a good boyfriend.

“Thanks for staying with Tucker and the guys. Everyone good?”

I nodded. “All is fine. They were fun.” I almost told him about Jaxon taking me for twenty bucks in poker last night and immediately decided against it. I knew things were already somewhat shaky between the two of them, and didn’t want to pile on any additional stress. “I came straight here last night because I wanted to talk.”

Knox nodded, bringing a big, warm palm to my jawline and stroking my cheek. “I know. We do need to talk, but I’m exhausted. I was up most of the night and the little sleep I did get was in a folding chair.” His rough thumb continued its path, softly rubbing my cheek. “Can I take a rain check?”

“Of course. I guess I’ll go home. Unpack. Shower. Water my sure-to-be-dead plants.”

“Okay. Thanks again for last night. I’ll call you later.”

All the excitement I’d experienced when I pulled up to Knox’s house last night had vanished. I still needed answers, but for now it seemed, they would have to wait.

Knox

McKenna surprising me last night should have been a good thing. But it was more than just the situation with Amanda that was giving me pause and had me asking for a time-out today. I knew the conversation we needed to have—about McKenna’s painful past and my own drunk-driving arrest. But every scenario I played out in my mind ended with her in tears and my heart broken. I just wasn’t ready to go there yet. I needed her. My brothers needed her. She’d only just showed back up in our lives and I didn’t want to lose her.

After greeting the guys and checking on the house, I fell into bed, drifting off to a deep sleep almost immediately. When I woke several hours later, I felt groggy and disoriented. Checking the time on my phone, I realized it was late afternoon and reluctantly crawled from bed. After a much-needed shower, I felt more alert and ventured downstairs.

Jaxon was sitting on the couch with a brand new laptop balanced across his knees.

“Where’d you get that?” I asked.

He looked up from the screen at me. “I won some money at a hand of cards.”

I frowned. “I told you I don’t want you gambling.” Jaxon had enough bad habits without adding another to the mix.

“Relax, man. I had a good hand and I bet appropriately. It’s not a big deal. And besides, I got it for Luke. I thought he could take it to college with him next year. He’s gonna need a computer.”

I couldn’t argue with that. Jaxon’s intentions were in the right place. “Fine. But I’m serious about the gambling.” I headed toward the kitchen before halting mid-stride to face him again. “And don’t be looking up porn on that thing. I don’t want Tucker stumbling across your search history.”

Jaxon chuckled. “That’s the entire reason I shelled out six hundred bucks for this, dude.”

I shot him an angry scowl.

He laughed again, closing the laptop and setting it aside. “I’m kidding. If I want pussy, I have three dozen contacts in my phone. All I have to do is text one of them. I’m sure you know how that works.”

My blood pressure shot up. The little shit was right. Which made me realize I should probably delete all those numbers. I didn’t want McKenna finding them and getting the wrong idea. Or worse, I didn’t want to chance succumbing to temptation if this thing between me and McKenna didn’t work out.

“Where are the guys?” I growled.

“At the park,” Jaxon said. “And speaking of pussy…I’m going out.” He grinned.

I rolled my eyes. Perhaps he was a lost cause. The sooner he was out on his own, the better. He would have to make his own mistakes and learn his own lessons, just as I had.

I made myself something to eat and sat alone at the kitchen table. The house was picked up and more organized, and I wondered if that had been McKenna’s touch last night. There was no denying our house felt like more of a home because of her—her light, feminine scent that hung in the air long after she was gone, the sense of calm she instilled in me and the boys, the home-cooked meals she occasionally spoiled us with. God, I’d missed her.