Susan Mallery - Wife in Disguise

“Are you all right in Beachside Bay by yourself?” A.J. asked.

She recognized the unspoken part of the question. Are you all right being around Del?

“It’s weird,” she admitted. “But in a good way. I want to get some things straight in my mind. Once that’s done I feel like I can then put the past behind me and get on with my life.”

“Good for you.” He hesitated. “You know I’m always here for you, kid, right?”

She smiled. “Yes. I know. And I love you, too, A.J. Now shut off your computer and go do something fun. Promise?”

“I’ll do my best. Talk to you soon.

“Okay. Bye.”

She hung up the phone and sat alone in the silence. But the quiet didn’t seem quite so unfriendly now. She knew that if she needed to talk to A.J. again, he would make time for her, as would the rest of her family. Especially Dallas.

The thought of her stepsister made her smile. Josie and Suzanne might have had some troubles in their relationship, but it hadn’t been like that with Josie and Dallas. They were three years apart in age, but they’d always gotten along. When Josie had left Del, Dallas had been looking for a roommate as she studied at UCLA. They’d gotten an apartment together, and Josie had picked up the pieces of her life. The summer after the accident, Dallas had been her constant companion, seeing her through the first several surgeries. Like Aaron, Dallas had urged her to never give up.

And she hadn’t. Because of her refusal to quit, she used a cane instead of a wheelchair. In time, with another surgery, she would be strong enough to walk on her own. She’d done what had to be done, regardless of the cost to her in pain and effort. She’d-

Josie sat up suddenly and blinked in the rapidly darkening room. She hadn’t been a quitter after the accident, but what about before? She and Del had fought for a long time, but ultimately she’d been the one to walk away from the marriage. Why had she given up on the two of them?

She rubbed her temple as she thought about the past. She’d been so awful to Del-always pushing back, never compromising. She’d never cared about his work or wanted to talk about it. She’d never noticed what a good, kind man he was. Now, three years too late, she realized that she genuinely liked being around him. He made her laugh.

She shook her head in an effort to get him out of her brain. Thinking about him like that wasn’t constructive. But as she turned, she caught sight of the stairs and couldn’t help remembering him carrying her up them a few days before. She’d loved being so physically close to him. He’d been so familiar and she’d felt welcomed back. Her body had responded with a hunger that had shocked her. As if she’d been waiting for him all this time.

“Crazy,” she murmured aloud. She and Del might be able to find a friendship out of the ashes of their past, but they couldn’t be any more than that. A physical relationship was impossible. She was too different from how she’d been before. Too…wrong.

Her lack of physical activity had meant that she’d put on weight. She wasn’t fat, but she sure wasn’t as toned and lean as she had been. The entire shape of her body had changed. Plus there were all those scars.

Unable to stop herself-even though she knew it was a mistake-Josie rose and walked into the small powder room just off the foyer. The toilet and sink were missing, but there was still an oval mirror hanging on the dark-papered wall. She stared at herself, at the stranger’s face looking back at her.

Her last facial surgery had been six months before. Nearly all the swelling was gone and the scars had faded as the doctor had promised. She looked completely normal, yet completely different. After twenty-seven years of being one person, now she was someone else. At least on the outside.

But what about on the inside? How much of her was the same and how much was different? The questions made her uncomfortable. She turned to leave and stumbled over a bit of uneven flooring. Without her cane she would have fallen. As it was, she could barely keep her balance.

Frustration filled her. There had been a time when she’d been able to run and jump and test her body. She’d moved with a natural grace she’d always taken for granted. She would never be that other woman again. That part of her had been destroyed in less than a heartbeat.

Pain filled her. Not the physical kind, but an ache of the soul. She wanted to turn back time. She wanted to be her old self. She wanted a normal body. She-

A knock on the door surprised her. She turned toward the sound, then began to walk in that direction. When she reached the foyer, she flipped on the porch light and opened the door. Del stood on her porch, looking slightly sheepish and holding out two bags labeled with the name of a local Chinese restaurant.

“If I’m interrupting a hot date, I’ll leave,” he said. “Otherwise, I thought you might like some company. And if you just want the food, that’s fine, too.”

Her sadness fled as if it had never been. She felt herself grinning at him. “My hot date passed out when I showed him my wallpaper selections. So I would welcome your company.” She pushed the door open wider. “Come on in.”

Josie hoped that her extreme pleasure at seeing Del didn’t show. If he knew how hard her heart was pounding and that she couldn’t think of a single intelligent thing to say, he would wonder if she ever got out these days and if there was something wrong with her.

“I hope you like Chinese,” he said as he walked into the main room, turning on lights as he went. “I decided on half orders of several different entrées so we’d have a choice.”

“Sounds great. Chinese is one of my favorites.”

She trailed after him, her uneven gait much slower than his. By the time she reached the sofa, he’d already pulled up the rickety folding table and set the bags on top of it. From one he pulled several small cartons of steaming food. The delicious smell made her mouth water and her stomach growl. From the other bag he drew out thick paper plates, plastic utensils and two bottles of beer.

He tapped the latter on their caps. “There’s soda in the refrigerator if you’d prefer that.”

She smiled. “No. Beer is great.”

She and Del might have fought about nearly everything, but Chinese food dishes and imported beer hadn’t ever been a problem. On that they’d agreed perfectly.

He motioned to the sheet-covered sofa. “If the lady would be so kind as to take a seat, the gentleman will serve the meal.”

His elegant speech and deep bow were at odds with his red flannel shirt and worn jeans. Josie couldn’t help a small smile of contentment as she settled on the sofa and set her cane on the floor. Del moved the table close, then unfastened the cap on the bottles and set one in front of her.

He’d thought of everything, even napkins and cheap wood chopsticks.

“I’m too hungry to mess with those,” she said when he offered her a pair. “I’ll use a fork, thank you very much.”

“As the lady wishes.” He opened the cartons and displayed their contents. “Egg rolls and paper wrapped chicken. Kung pao chicken, orange-flavored beef, sweet and sour pork, shrimp with lobster sauce, fried rice and steamed rice. What would you like?”

Everything looked tempting. Josie hesitated only a second before pointing to the orange-flavored beef and the shrimp with lobster sauce. “I’ll start with those, along with steamed rice. But you don’t have to serve me. I can do it.”

“I’m showing off,” he said, scooping the food onto a paper plate. “You’re responsible for your own seconds.”

After he handed her a full plate, he sat next to her on the sofa and served himself. Then he held up his beer bottle. “To old houses and new friends.”

She picked up her drink and clinked it against his. “Thanks, Del.”

“You’re welcome. Now eat.”

She did as he requested, taking a sip of the beer before diving into the Chinese food. Her heart was still line dancing inside her chest, and her nerves felt a little quivery having him so close. She couldn’t believe he’d stopped by with dinner. His kindness made her happy and apprehensive at the same time. She got the impression that he liked her. Except the woman he liked-Rose-wasn’t who he thought. He was going to be angry when he found out the truth.

She should probably tell him now. Just blurt out the words. Except she didn’t want to spoil a potentially lovely evening. She’d been so alone for so long. Was it terribly wrong to want to enjoy Del’s company for a little while before she had to ruin everything between them?

She didn’t have an answer, or if she did, she didn’t want to think about it. So for now…for today at least…she would continue to keep her secret just a little longer.

“Do you like it?” he asked, pointing to her plate and the beer. “I thought you might be more of a wine woman, but I took a chance.”

“Everything is wonderful.” She nibbled on a shrimp and swallowed.

As she savored the delicate flavors she suddenly realized that the dishes he’d chosen had all been his favorites. Some of her humor faded as she remembered the times they’d argued about what to order. As she studied the open cartons she realized that she liked these items, too. There were a few other dishes that she would enjoy as much, but it wasn’t as if she’d hated Del’s favorites. But even in picking Chinese food, she’d insisted on being right. She hadn’t been willing to take turns or have them each pick an entrée. Why had she been so difficult all the time?

“Do you eat here often?” she asked, pointing at the name on the bag.

He grinned. “About twice a week. I’m not much of a cook.” He shrugged. “Now that I’m on my own, I wish I’d learned, but my mom never taught me.”

“You could teach yourself.”

“What? And be a responsible person? Naw. Takeout is better.”

Humor glinted in his eyes. She took in the slightly damp hair and the clean line of his jaw. He’d obviously showered and shaved before dropping by with dinner. Josie told herself not to read too much into his actions. Maybe he was just being nice. But in her heart she wanted it to be more than that. She wanted Del to be attracted to her, while at the same time she feared his interest. Not only because of the lie she was living, but because she was so different from what she’d been before.

“I’m surprised your mother would send you out in the world so unprepared,” she said.

“I guess she thought there would always be a woman around to take care of me. Plus I’m an only child. I was spoiled.”

“Really?” She couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice.

“You’re shocked that she would cater to me? A lot of moms do-especially if they only have one child.”

“No. I’m surprised you’d admit it.”

It was something she’d accused him of dozens of times when they’d been married. She told him that Catherine’s catering to his needs had made it difficult for anyone else not to fall short of his expectations. At the time he’d told her she was paranoid.

He drank from his beer bottle. “My mom is one of those women who believe that taking care of her family is the most important thing in her life. She helped at the business, took care of the house, catered to my dad and me. If there was a burned piece of something or a smaller serving, she claimed it for herself. If there was a draft, she sat in it.”

“She sounds like a saint,” Josie said, careful to keep her voice neutral. Saint Catherine, she thought grimly. How many times had her mother-in-law’s actions been thrown in her face? Although she’d liked Del’s mother, she’d never come close to measuring up, and eventually she’d stopped trying. Her greatest goal had never been to be a servant in her own home.

“She was old-fashioned,” Del admitted. “But she’s changed.”

Josie scooped some sweet and sour pork onto her plate. “What do you mean?”

“About two years ago my mom went on strike. She said she was tired of catering to my dad, of working part-time at the business and full-time at home. He got weekends off but she was expected to still cook and clean and take care of him. Who was taking care of her?”

“Your mother said that?” Josie blurted out before she could stop herself. Saint Catherine had lost control?

“Absolutely. She and my dad fought about it for weeks. They nearly split up. She said she wanted a fifty-fifty relationship, and he wasn’t willing to give up his personal maid. At least that’s how she described it. My dad’s version was a little different.”

Josie blinked in surprise. She remembered all the times she and Catherine had talked about Del. His mother had always taken his side, telling Josie that she had to be the one to bend, the one to make Del feel special. Josie had wanted to know when her new husband was going to make her feel special, as well. She’d never thought Catherine had once heard a word she’d said, but maybe she’d been listening after all.