Susan Mallery - Wife in Disguise

Seconds passed, then minutes, where she struggled to catch her breath. When she was finally still, he brushed her hair away from her face.

“I want you,” he murmured.

“Yes,” she told him. “Please, be inside of me.”

He rose to his feet and quickly stripped off his clothes. Shirt, shoes, socks, jeans, briefs. Until he was naked.

Josie looked at him, at the breadth of his shoulders and the way dark hair lightly covered his chest. Time had honed his muscles. He was still beautiful, especially that most male part of him. He was also very aroused. The proof of his desire made her feel safe and wanted.

He moved to rejoin her on the bed, but she raised her hand to hold him off.

“Protection,” she said. “I’m not on anything and parts of me are still completely intact.”

“No problem.” He opened the nightstand and pulled out a sealed box of condoms. After opening the container, he removed one, then returned to her side.

They kissed deeply. Although she’d already had her pleasure once, Josie wanted more. She needed to feel Del inside of her, filling her the way he used to. Tension radiated from him-more proof that he was as ready.

“It’s time,” she murmured against his mouth.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Just go slowly. I don’t know how much I’m going to bend.”

His gaze turned serious. “Tell me if anything hurts. I don’t mind stopping.” He hesitated, then grinned. “Okay, I’ll mind a little but I’ll still do it.”

She nodded, then parted her legs as far as she could. Del applied his protection and positioned himself between her legs. He stopped long enough to grab pillows and place them under her knees, then he gently moved his hips forward.

She felt him enter her. Slowly, so very slowly, filling her until she knew she couldn’t stand anything more of this extraordinary pleasure. She stretched around him and felt her body collecting for the first pulse of her release.

When he was all the way inside, he paused. “Are you all right?”

She nodded. There was a slight tugging in her hips, but nothing she couldn’t ignore. She desperately wanted to tilt her pelvis to invite him in further. However she knew the folly of that move. Spending the next fifteen minutes screaming in pain would be a mood breaker.

Instead she let him do all the work. She tightened around him with each thrust but otherwise was still. Del moved slowly but steadily, filling her over and over again. Tension increased with each penetration until she couldn’t hold back anymore. The first shuddering release swept through her.

He groaned with her climax. His gaze sought hers.

“I can feel that,” he gasped in amazement, his features tight with passion. Then he swore and bent low to kiss her.

She found herself caught up in a chain reaction. With each thrust, she lost a bit more of herself to the release. The slow rhythm was making her crazy in the best way possible. She never wanted it to stop. Over and over she shuddered until she was exhausted and content. Finally he gave one last, deep thrust and was still. She was so in tune with him that she felt the pulsing rush of his own competition. They stared at each other in that moment of perfect communication, two truly united as one.

Del pulled the covers over Josie and himself, then drew her into his arms.

“You okay?” he asked.

She leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed. “That’s the fifth time you’ve asked me. I’m going to stop saying yes in a second.”

“I want to make sure I didn’t hurt you.”

“Del, you redefined my role in the universe, but you didn’t hurt me.” She snuggled closer and closed her eyes. “Thank you. That was spectacular.”

“I liked it, too.”

She shoved at his arm without opening her eyes. “Don’t you dare pretend it wasn’t amazing.”

He smoothed the hair from her face and smiled into the night. “Amazing works for me.”

Amazing and a bunch of other words like incredible or unbelievable. Sex with Josie had always been great, but tonight was one of the only times he remembered making love with her. There’d been a closeness, a connection he didn’t recall from their past. Being inside of her had changed everything. Or maybe it had just exposed the truth.

He was falling in love with her.

Del shifted so he could raise his free arm and slide his hand under his head. Josie’s slow breathing indicated that she was already falling asleep. He’d always appreciated that she wasn’t one of those women who liked to talk after sex. That hadn’t changed.

But many other things had, he thought, remembering her concerns about him looking at her scars. She’d been scared and vulnerable. Two very unnatural states for his ex-wife. But she’d faced down her fears, which was 100 percent Josie. He was having trouble reconciling the person she’d been, with the person she’d become.

The impatience was gone, as was her anger, he thought, although given what she’d been through in the past year it made sense that she would be more intense. Instead Josie had gentled. He felt different, as well. Maybe they’d used the time apart to grow up. Had they changed enough?

He stroked her hair and heard her murmur his name. If he was falling in love with her, what was going to happen now? He hadn’t allowed himself to think about the future, but here it was-looming.

He thought about all the women he’d been with after the divorce. He’d enjoyed them but he’d never loved anyone but Josie. She’d claimed his heart eight years ago, and he’d never bothered to get it back.

“I like you holding me,” she whispered in the dark, sounding sleepy. “You feel good.”

“You, too.”

“Was I…” Her voice trailed off. “Were you surprised?”

At first he thought she was asking about them making love. Then he realized she meant the scars. Had they shocked him? He thought about the lines on her legs. Some were pale, others were still red and thick. There were scars on her stomach, her arms and a thin one down the side of her left breast. Three years ago she’d been physically perfect. Today she was everything he wanted.

“I wasn’t surprised that it was still good between us,” he told her. “You always were a hot babe.”

She giggled. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” He turned and kissed her forehead. “The scars only matter to me because they meant you were in pain once. Otherwise, I don’t even see them.”

“But we had to do it differently. I couldn’t get in any weird positions.”

“I don’t care about that. I like doing it the old-fashioned way. Making love doesn’t have to be a sporting event every time.”

She sighed. “We used to do it standing up, Del. I can’t do that anymore.”

He pulled her tighter against her. “When you were gone, I missed the sound of your laughter and the way you smelled. I missed making love, but when I thought about that, I never once imagined us doing it against the door. I swear.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” She sighed and was still.

Del enjoyed the feel of her curves next to him. What exactly were they talking about, he wondered. It seemed to him they were skirting around the issue of their marriage. They were living in the same house and they’d just become lovers. Did that mean they were going to give it another try? He wanted to believe it might work, but he wasn’t sure. Josie had lived her life to be independent, and he wasn’t interested in a relationship in which he wasn’t needed. So where exactly did that leave them?

Del cooked steaks on a grill on the stove while Josie prepared the salad. He’d found a butcher-block cart that was the perfect height for her to use from her wheelchair. As she sliced cucumber, he checked on the meat.

Their conversation was as easy as their movements. Josie told herself not to read too much into the situation, but she couldn’t help hoping that Del thought things were going as well as she did. They’d been lovers now for three days…and nights. They’d been sleeping together in the same bed, reaching for each other in the darkness. Yesterday he’d come home for lunch, but they’d never exactly gotten to a meal. Instead he’d carried her into the bedroom and had made love with her. He treated her with affection, respect and tenderness, and she couldn’t help hoping that love was just around the corner. But she couldn’t be sure.

When he was at work, she sat alone berating herself for not having the courage to tell him how she felt. It should be so easy to say the words, to admit her feelings. He’d loved her once-couldn’t he learn to do it again? Or had there been too much time and damage?

“The kitchen cabinets are finished,” he was saying, speaking of the progress on her remodeling project. “I’ll be hanging them next week. In the meantime I’m getting started on the bathroom cabinets.”

“I can’t wait to see them.” She reached for a tomato. “How’s work coming on the master suite?”

“Great. We’re a couple of days ahead of schedule. Everything should be done in three weeks. Your new house will be all ready for you.”

His words should have made her happy, but they didn’t. She didn’t like thinking about moving out of Del’s home. She liked being here, with him. But she didn’t know how he felt. Was he enjoying their time together or did he want his old life back? When she was finally mobile was he going to give her a kiss goodbye and simply tell her thanks for the good time?

The thought made her chest ache. She hated that it took being in a wheelchair to make Del keep her around. That meant their living arrangement was all about convenience and not a matter of the heart. She’d been faithful about her physical therapy appointments and her exercises. She’d been resting, as well. Now all that was paying off. She was stronger than she’d been since the accident. When she stood in the shower, she no longer swayed like a drunken sailor. She knew that at her next doctor’s appointment she was going to get the all-clear to start using her cane again. Which meant there was no reason to stay here. She would have to move out and then what would happen?

She desperately wanted to ask but she was so afraid of his answer. She didn’t want to know that this had all been a game for him. A way to relive the past. She didn’t want to know that she no longer mattered.

She finished the salads and carried them to the table. Del turned over the steaks.

“What are you going to do with the house?” he asked, his back to her as he watched the grill. “Are you going to keep it or sell it?”

The unexpected question made her tense. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“You seem to be moving around better. I’m sure Dr. Sanders is going to be pleased when she sees you the first part of next week.”

It was as if Del could read her mind, she thought in panic. Was he making conversation or trying to get rid of her?

“I’ve been doing everything she told me,” she said weakly. “Doctors tend to like that in a patient.”

Del flipped the steaks again, then turned to face her. He wore his usual jeans and flannel shirt. The casual clothes emphasized his strength. When he folded his arms over his chest, the shoulder seams strained.

“I’ve liked having you here, Josie. We’re doing well together.”

“I agree.” She swallowed. She didn’t know where the conversation was headed and it made her nervous.

“I wish you’d contacted me when you’d first been hurt. I would have been there.”

“Why?” she asked bluntly. “We were divorced. We hadn’t seen each other in two years. What difference would my accident have made?”

“We’d been divorced for three years when you showed up here.”

“That was different. I wanted closure.”

Something shifted in his eyes, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“Did you find it?” he asked.

She shrugged, still unable to tell him that she’d thought of him in that last moment when she’d believed she was going to die. “I wanted to know what had gone wrong between us. I guess I needed to tie up some loose ends.” She smiled. “You provided me with a detailed list of my faults, that’s for sure. I now have a very clear picture of everything I did wrong.”

He winced. “I’m sorry for all the stuff I said when I thought you were Rose. I was a jerk.”

“You were honest. It wasn’t fun to hear, but I needed the information. I like to think that I’ve changed since then.”

“In some ways. But your basic spirit and determination are alive and well. I’m glad.”

They gazed at each other. Something passed between them but Josie didn’t have a clue as to what it was. Her heart was too engaged, she thought. She wasn’t able to read his signals because she didn’t want to know anything bad.