he advised.

Well, he didn’t shop but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be thoughtful.

Brock continued, “Keep the receipts, put both our names on the card and I’ll pay you back.”

“I –” I started and his arm gave me a squeeze.

“Receipts. Payback,” he grunted.

It was in that moment I got what Elvira said weeks before about Vic at Ada’s party.

Vic needed to man up.

If a man had a line you didn’t cross, he told you, he did it straight out, honestly and made his point clear, like Brock just did.

Cleary, Gwen and Cam had men like that and, now, I had one. Brock wanted Christmas to come from us. He was fine with me buying it and wrapping it but he was going to pay for it and I knew by his tone that this was a point I didn’t argue. For whatever reason, it meant something to him. And for that reason, whatever it was, it meant something to me to give it to him without mouthing off about something that, in the end, was a decent trade off.

Therefore, I whispered, “All right.”

He held my eyes. Then his went to the TV while his mouth twitched.

Whatever.

I settled back in.

Twenty minutes later, the game ended, Brock’s arm tightened and he rolled us both, stretching out an arm, he tagged the remote on the coffee table, the TV went blank, he dropped the remote then he settled back in but pulled me partially onto his front and up so my face was close to his.

Mm. It appeared we’d arrived at my favorite part of the day.

“You good?” he asked and I blinked.

“Sorry?”

“Earlier, all that shit, you good?”

Damn. It appeared we hadn’t arrived at my favorite part of the day.

“Yeah,” I told him.

“Okay, babe, no,” he said, his face serious. “I get why you want to make that play and you were raw earlier so I let you make it then but you gotta know, I don’t like that you’re makin’

any play. Olivia is gonna be in our lives and I don’t like that for me so I really don’t like it for you. Not to mention, full custody is a fuckuva lot different than joint, that works out for me it means you get me and two boys. I gotta know you’re cool with that.”

“Brock, I’m cool with it.”

“Convince me,” he ordered and I stared at him.

Here we go again. This was important (obviously) and he told me straight out. No game playing, no lies, no avoidance, no subterfuge. This meant something to him (again, obviously) and I had to share.

So I told him, “I wanted kids.”

It was then he started staring at me.

Then I shared, “Around the time we were ready to go for it, Damian started hitting me.”

Brock closed his eyes.

I kept speaking.

“He thought I went off the pill. I hid it from him and kept taking it.”

Brock opened his eyes.


“You’ve got two great sons,” I said softly. “And I lost my shot. So I’m never going to be a Mom. I came to terms with that awhile ago; not easy terms but I had no choice. Something else I allowed Damian to take away from me. But, this keeps being as good as it is, I have the shot to be a damned good stepmom and if that comes with four days a month or every other week or every day, I don’t really care. I had a good stepmom so I have a good role model.

Donna was awesome. She and Dad didn’t have any kids because he was sick and he never knew for sure where that disease would take them and he didn’t want to leave Donna alone to raise a child and he didn’t want to do that to a child because he watched my sister and me deal. So she poured the love she’d have had for her kids into my sister and me. I love her.

We’re still close. She means the world to me. So, if my life with you comes with them, since I love you and I’m falling in love with them, however that comes about, it makes me happy.”

His hand slid into my hair, his eyes got soft and his mouth murmured, “Tess.”

“Convinced?” I asked.

One side of his lips tipped up. “Yeah.”

“Good,” I whispered.

Then I studied his relaxed face and took in a soft breath.

Okay, since we were having a serious conversation, I decided we might as well continue to have it and also address something Brock and I had not addressed since it happened.

In preparation, I slid my hand up his chest to his neck, wrapped my fingers around and relaxed my body into his before I asked softly, “Will you tell me about Bree?”

His fingers tensed on my hip then he asked back, “How much did you hear?”

“Not sure but at a guess?” He nodded. “Most of it.”

He stared at me. Then he muttered, “Right.”

“It wasn’t cool to eavesdrop it was just –”

“Babe, with Levi, fuck, with my entire family, you’d hear it one way or the other and bein’

with me, you’d learn it eventually so it doesn’t matter.”

“I won’t eavesdrop again,” I promised and his hand gave me another squeeze.

“Darlin’, we get to the point where we’re keepin’ anything from each other, we got problems. This is not me and Olivia, where she’d go shoppin’, hide shit in the closet and I wouldn’t find out we were maxed on our credit cards until I got the statements and learned she was dedicated to the mission of memorizing every square foot of Cherry Creek Mall. And this is not you and that assclown where you gotta protect yourself by hidin’ somethin’ as important as takin’ birth control. This is you and me. Eavesdropping is not an available option ‘cause, to make this real and make that real rich, it’s gotta all hang out.”

I liked that. A whole lot.

So I whispered, “Okay.”

“Okay,” he whispered back then said, “I asked Bree out the first day of her freshman year, my sophomore year of high school. She said yes and we were tight from that day on. She was tight with me and she was tight with my family.”

I nodded.

Brock kept talking. “I got a scholarship to U of A to play baseball. She followed me down there. But she was close with her family and mine and her friends up here. She didn’t last.

She hated Arizona not because of Arizona, because she missed home. Her sophomore year, she transferred to UC. We thought it’d be cool, we survived the long distance thing my freshman year in Arizona, we figured we’d make it a couple more years. We didn’t. By Christmas, I’d met someone else and realized I was not the kind of man who was not going to taste the variety of flavors life had on offer. Because of that, I also realized what I had with Bree was more about history and friendship than what it takes to make the long haul. I came home, talked to her about it, she was not in that place and wasn’t happy about it but she had no choice. I was done.”


Oh man. Harsh.

Honest, but harsh.

I pulled in breath but kept quiet and Brock continued.

“I went back after Christmas and so did she. She got it about a month later.” He grinned.

“I got good taste and she was seriously fuckin’ pretty. Available for the first time since she hit the dating game, she had ‘em eatin’ out of her hands. She enjoyed the fuck outta that. She connected with me in the summer when we were both home and told me she got it. I was pleased as fuck, she was a good friend and I missed her. Our relationship changed and it got better ‘cause, like I said, she was a great friend and she was damn fun to be around. We had good times. We still had each other’s families. It worked.”

I nodded again.

Brock kept on with his story and I knew we were hitting the hard part when his eyes got dark.

“She had an older cousin and when I say that, he was a second cousin nearly old enough to be her father. Like my family, hers was close. I knew them all and I did not like this fuckin’

guy’s vibe, never did. Bree was immune to it. To her, family was family even if they were weird, nuts or off. That was the kinda heart she had, she let everyone in and didn’t ask questions.”

Oh man.

“By this time, I was out of school, went to the Academy and was an officer with the DPD

workin’ toward detective. She had graduated, workin’ full-time but still goin’ to school at night to get her Master’s degree. One night, he shows outta the blue, she lets him in.”

“Brock,” I whispered when that darkness in his eyes intensified and his fingers dug into my flesh and didn’t loosen. “Maybe you should stop.”

“Can you handle it?” he asked.

“If you need me to,” I answered.

“That ain’t a good answer, sweetness.”

“Then, yes, I can handle it.”

He examined my face. Then his fingers loosened.

Then he carried on, “He fucked her up, Tess. We’re talkin’ bad and that shit’s bad anytime but hers was worse, violated her and laid her out. Beat the fuckin’ shit outta her before he raped her and he didn’t do it once, he spent all night with her and did it repeatedly. She was so fucked up, she reported it took her half an hour to crawl to the phone after he was gone.

She was in a hospital bed two weeks. This guy fucked her up and this guy was fuckin’

whacked. When I got him and we finally got his DNA, it showed Bree was his fifth or at least she was the fifth who reported it.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered and he nodded.

“Compulsion,” Brock told me. “Uncontrollable. That was why he fucked up and went after family. In interrogation, they broke him. He’d had his eye on her for fuckin’ years, beat it back, that night, whatever broke in him broke and he couldn’t beat it back anymore.”

“So,” I said hesitantly, “you got him?”

He nodded. “Wasn’t my case ‘cause I didn’t have cases. I was still in uniform. Levi and me went to go see her, took some time ‘cause her fuckin’ jaw was wired shut, but she finally got out the basics of what went down and I took leave because he’d gone to ground and they couldn’t find him. He knew he fucked up. He was in hiding, preparin’ to bolt. I hunted him down and we’ll just say when I found him, I did not exactly follow procedure.”

Damn.

“You hurt him,” I whispered.

“Remember what I said to you about what I wanted to do with Heller?”

I nodded.


“I did that to him and I did it in a way I know he still hasn’t forgotten me. And the DPD

frowned on that. I was suspended and it was investigated. I didn’t fuckin’ care. It was worth it to me then and it’s worth more to me now even though, then and now, I knew I fucked up.”

“They didn’t fire you,” I noted.

“No, don’t know why, they should have. What I did weakened their case. What I did made it so his case mighta been thrown out and it was iron tight with his DNA matching multiple samples and women making solid IDs. What I did fucked those cases too. But they didn’t can my ass and the case didn’t get tossed because it didn’t go to trial. Family pressure, he confessed to all five. His confession swung good my way and since the case didn’t get fucked, with me, they said extenuating circumstances. I had a good record, I was a good cop and my captain had taken to me, saw in me that I’d have a good career so he took my back and so did some brothers on The Force. And everyone knew who she was to me and they knew what he did to her and, right or wrong, all of them, someplace inside them, knew the same thing happened to someone they gave a shit about, they’d either do what I did or consider it. They still gave me shit work, put me at a desk and this is why I know desk work is not for me. I worked my way outta that shit and back on the beat. Then to detective.

Through this, Bree went off the rails and then she went down. Heroin. OD. Everyone, including me, tried to pull her outta that shit. We couldn’t. Watchin’ her descend into that world was like a form of torture, not only watchin’ her but watchin’ her Mom and Dad and sisters watch her while bustin’ their asses and failin’ to get her straight. Don’t know how many times I was called in ‘cause she was in a holding cell, strung out, dazed, not even knowin’ where the fuck she was and that she was pulled in for solicitation on a sweep. Too fucked up even to be smart enough to avoid getting arrested no matter how many times it happened. Suckin’ cock for twenty dollars so her pimp would keep her supplied. The last time I saw her breathing, I barely recognized her.”

Oh God, God.

“Honey,” I said gently.

“It was fucked, Tess.”

“Yes, it was, baby,” I whispered. “So you decided to do something about it and moved to the DEA?” I ventured cautiously.

He closed his eyes and drew breath in his nose.