Danielle Steel - Wings

“Thank you… for being so fair…”

“I love you,” he said honestly, still blushing from the things he had just said to her. It was the hardest thing he had ever done, proposing to her, and being rejected.

“I love you too,” she whispered, overwhelmed by guilt and tenderness and a maelstrom of emotions.

‘That's all I need to know,” he said quietly. They sat and talked in the kitchen for a long time, about other things. And when he left, he kissed her on the porch, feeling they had come to an agreement. The decision was not now, as far as he was concerned, but definitely later. And all he had to do now was convince her that sooner was better than later. It seemed a small task to him in the heat of the moment.

The class of 1937 walked slowly down the aisle of the auditorium of Thomas Jefferson School, the boys and the girls hand in hand, two by two, the girls carrying bouquets of daisies. The girls looked so lovely and pure, the boys so young and hopeful. Watching them, Pat was reminded of the boys who had flown in the war for him. They had been the same age, and so many of them had died, and to him they had all looked like children.

Together, the entire class sang the school song for the last time, and the girls all cried, as did their mothers. Even their fathers had tears in their eyes as the diplomas were handed out, and then suddenly, the ceremony was over and there was pandemonium. Three hundred kids had graduated and would go on to their lives, most of them to get married, and have babies. Only forty-one of a class of three hundred and fourteen were going on to college. Of the forty-one, all but one were going to the state university at Macomb, and only three of these were women. And of course one of them was Cassie, who was the only student going as far as Peoria, to attend Bradley. It would be a long haul every day, well over an hour each way in her father's old truck, but she was convinced it was worth it, just for the chance to take the aeronautics courses they offered, and some engineering.

Cassie had had to fight tooth and nail for it. Her father thought it was a waste of time, and she'd be a lot better off married to Bobby Strong. He was furious with her for turning him down, and he only backed off because Oona had insisted to him quietly that she was sure they would get married eventually, if they didn't push her. Cassie just needed time. It was Oona who had prevailed on him, and talked Pat into letting her go on to college. It certainly couldn't do any harm, and she had agreed to compromise and major in English, not engineering. If she graduated, she'd get a teaching degree, but she had still applied for a minor in aeronautics. No woman had ever applied for the course, and she had been told that she'd have to wait to see if the professor felt she was eligible for the class. But she was going to talk to him as soon as she got to school in September.

There was a reception at the high school after graduation, and of course Cassie had already gone to her senior prom with Bobby. He had seemed to accept his fate for the past six months, but the night they graduated, he talked to her about it again, just in case she'd changed her mind, and had second thoughts about college.

“No, I haven't,” she said with a gentle smile. He was so faithful to her, and so earnest, that sometimes he made her feel very guilty. But she had made a commitment to other things, and she didn't want to lose sight of them now, no matter how sweet he was, or how kind, or how guilty he made her feel, or how much her father liked him.

He left early that night, his grandmother was in town, and he had to go home and visit with her. Pat growled at Cassie after Bobby left. She was still wearing the white dress she had worn under her black gown, and she looked very pretty.

“You'll be a damn fool, Cassie O'Malley, if you let that boy slip through your fingers.”

“He won't, Dad.” It was the only thing she could think of to say to him. It sounded conceited, but it was better than saying she didn't care, which would really have enraged him. And the truth was, she did care. There were times when she thought she really loved him, especially when he kissed her.

“Don't be so sure,” her father railed at her. “No man can be expected to wait forever. But maybe once you have your teaching degree, you won't care. Maybe you have it in mind to become an old maid schoolteacher. Now there's something to wish for.” He was still annoyed with her about this business of going to college. Instead of being proud of her, as the other two girls' fathers were, he thought it was foolish. But Nick was pleased for her that she was going. He had realized long since how bright she was, and how capable, and it didn't seem fair, even to him, to just push her into getting married and having babies. He was relieved too that she hadn't decided to marry Bobby Strong fresh out of school. That would have changed everything, and he couldn't have borne it. He knew that eventually things would have to change, but at least for now their sacred Saturdays were safe, and they would still have their precious hours of flying.

Cassie sat by the radio that night after everyone had “left. She had been dying to do that all afternoon, but she knew how much it would have annoyed her father. Amelia Earhart had taken off from Miami that afternoon, with Fred Noonan, in a twin-engine Lockheed Electra. She was flying around the world, and the expedition had been highly publicized by her husband, George Putnam. Her trip had been oddly plotted because of the threat of war, and there were areas she clearly had to avoid. They had chosen the longest route around the world at the equator, and the most dangerous, overisolated, and underdeveloped countries, which offered few airfields and fewer opportunities for fuel. She had not set an easy task for herself, and Cassie was enthralled with all of it. Like many other girls her age, and half the world, Cassie was in love with the courage and excitement of Amelia Earhart.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” her mother asked as she wandered past her into the kitchen. It had been an emotional day for her, and she thought Cassie looked tired too.

“Just listening to see if there's any news about Amelia Eariiart.”

“Not at this hour,” her mother smiled. “There will be plenty of it in the news tomorrow. She's a brave girl.” She was more than a girl obviously, she was a month shy of forty, which to Cassie seemed fairly ancient. But in spite of that she was still exciting.

“She's lucky,” Cassie said softly, wishing she could do something just like Earhart was doing. She would have liked nothing better than to tour the world, setting records, and flying incredible distances over strange lands and uncharted waters. It didn't frighten her at all, all it did was excite her.

And she said as much to Nick the next day, after they'd flown turns around a marker over their secret airstrip.

“You're as crazy as she is,” he said, dismissing Ear-hart's folly with a casual wave. “She's not the great pilot Putnam sets her up to be. She's crashed more than half the women who fly, and ID bet you a dollar that in that Electra of hers she overshoots every runway. It's a heavy machine, Cass, and it's got the heaviest Wasp engine Lockheed would give it. That's more than a handful for a woman of her size and build. This trip is just a stunt to make her the first woman to fly around the world. It's been done by men, and it's not going to do anything to advance aviation, only to advance Amelia Eaihart.” He seemed unimpressed, but Cassie was undaunted.

“Don't be a jerk, Nick. You're just mad because she's a woman.”

“I'm not. If you told me Jackie Cochran was doing this, I'd say great. I just don't think Earhart has the stuff to do it. And I talked to a guy in Chicago who knows her, and he says she wasn't ready, and neither was the plane. But Putnam wants to squeeze all the publicity he can out of it. I feel sorry for her actually. I think she's being used. And I think she's being pushed into some lousy decisions.”

“Sounds like sour grapes, Nick,” Cassie teased, as they shared a Coca-Cola. Their flights together had become a beloved ritual neither of them would have missed for anything in the world. They had been going on for exactly a year now. “You'll eat your words when she breaks all records,” Cassie said confidently as he shook his head.

“Don't hold your breath.” And then he smiled at her, his eyes crinkling in the corners, as they did when he was staring into the sun when he was flying. “I'd rather put my money on you in a few years.” He was playing with her, but he also meant it.

“Yeah, sure. And my father will be taking the bets, right?” They still hadn't figured out how to tell him about Cassie's flying, let alone that Nick thought Cassie was one of the best pilots he knew. But he had promised her that one of these days, when the time was right, they would do it.

The Peoria Air Show was in two weeks, and he was working with Chris, who was as steady as ever, and as uninterested as he had always been. He was entering the air show only to please his father. He was going to try and set an altitude record, though he didn't think he really could. Stunts were not his strong suit, and the hotshot flying still scared him. But they had strengthened the structure of Nick's Bellanca, and put a turbo supercharger on the engine to increase its power.

“I wish I could fly in it too,” Cassie said longingly, and Nick wished the same thing right along with her.

“So do I. Next year,” he promised her, and when he said it, he meant it.

“Do you really think I could?” She looked overwhelmed with excitement. Though it was a year away, it was something to look forward to, even more than college.

“I don't see any reason why not, Cass. You fly better than any of the guys there. It would make quite an impression, dazzle 'em a little bit. Believe me, they need it.”

“There are some pretty good guys at the air show,” Cassie said respectfully. She had seen some great flying over the years, but she also knew that she could fly as well as, or better than, most of those men now. Cassie had seen some terrible tragedies over the years too. It was not unusual to have fatalities at the air show. Oona had finally forced Pat to give it up, because flying stunts at the air show was just too dangerous. But he loved to see it.

“Want to take me back up and give me some cheap thrills?” Nick asked after their lunch. Sometimes they went back up for another spin, if the weather was good and they had time, as they did that afternoon. “You could use a little work on your takeoffs and landings in crosswinds.” They had also been working on takeoffs with power cutbacks.

“The hell I do. My landings are better than yours are,” she disagreed with a grin.

“Don't be so modest.” He ruffled her hair, and let her sit behind him this time, and as usual, she didn't disappoint him. She was fabulous. It was as simple as that. And he was sorry all over again that he couldn't put her in this year's air show.

But two days before the air show, Cassie was sitting glued to her radio, unable to believe what she was hearing. Amelia Earhart had gone down, somewhere near Howland Island in the South Pacific. It seemed incredible to her, and to everyone else who heard the news. All except her father, who repeated constantly for everyone to hear that women belonged in the kitchen, and not in planes, except maybe as Skygirls, and even that didn't seem suitable to him. But Cassie was reminded of what Nick had said too, that Earhart wasn't good at handling heavy planes, and there were several people who knew her well who said she hadn't been ready. It seemed like a terrible tragedy, and the government cooperated immediately with the search for her. But on the day of the air show, two days later, they still hadn't found her.

It dampened Cassie's spirits terribly, as she watched all the trick flying and the stunts at the air show.

“Cheer up.” She heard a familiar voice behind her. “Don't look so gloomy.” It was Nick. He had a hot dog in one hand, and a beer in the other, and he was wearing a paper Fourth of July hat. The air shows were always festive.

“I'm sorry,” she apologized with a tired smile. She had been up for two days, listening (or reports of Amelia Earhart. But there were none. Nothing at all had been found. She had totally vanished. “I was just thinking about…”

“I know what you were thinking about. The same thing you've been thinking about since she took off. But it's not going to do you any good, getting sick over her. Remember, I told you a long time ago. There are chances we all take. We all know it. We accept them. So did she. She was doing what she wanted.” He offered her a bite of his hot dog, and she took it, looking pensive. Maybe he was right. Maybe she had a right to die that way. Maybe if she'd been given a choice of a ripe old age in a rocking chair, and a quick exit in a Lockheed, she would have preferred this. But Cassie still hated to think of her going down. It was the death of a legend.