And that’s when I realized why all this was happening. It had taken me two weeks, but now I knew. Estella had become familiar. She had become someone I depended on. Estella had secretly crept into my life, and I hadn’t even noticed until this very second.

And I had let her fucking walk out of it.

Chapter Thirteen

Estella

School on Monday was pretty bad.

I’d had a History project to finish up over the weekend, but my mind had kept drifting to a certain tattooed jerk, and I hadn’t been able to put the finishing touches to my project that I’d wanted to.

There was no way I’d get an ‘A’ on it. I’d probably just scrape a ‘B’, and that was only because my History teacher had a soft spot for me.

Slipping grades were not something I could afford to deal with. I needed to maintain exceptional grades to get that scholarship to college; otherwise I’d have no chance to break out of the vicious cycle my father was exposing me to.

There was no alternative to it; I had to stop tutoring Dylan, and I had to stop thinking about Vin-um, the tattooed jerk!

To be fair, he didn’t really understand the impact of his words. He didn’t understand that my life was far from perfect. Just because I wore this mask—straight-A student, good girl, responsible—didn’t mean that I didn’t have problems of my own. It didn’t mean that my life wasn’t completely messed up. I was trying to deal with everything as best as I could.

Now, the only option left was to remove Vincent from the equation. If he stayed in my life, I was going to lose more than good grades; I was going to lose my darn mind.

The only thing that really bothered me was breaking my promise to Dylan. I knew our tutoring sessions had become more than just that. We’d become friends. He relied on me in his life as a constant. I think I was that maternal presence he’d lacked his entire life. It was killing me to do this to him, but I had no choice.

My promise to him had been made before Vincent had said what he’d said. It was probably for the best, anyway since Ryder seemed to hate my guts for some unknown reason. I think that entire family was a little insane.

At the end of the day, I headed to my locker and took out the text books I’d need for homework tomorrow. Since I wouldn’t have time to do any work this afternoon, I was going to get everything done tomorrow afternoon now that I’d decided not to tutor Dylan anymore.

“Estella, can I talk to you?”

Turning to the right, I found Eddie Cavallari leaning against the locker beside mine. His sandy-colored hair was spiked to the side in an interesting way. The sight of his tattoos made me want to take a step back, but I checked myself. I didn’t want Eddie to think I was being rude, so I stood my ground.

“Sure,” I swallowed, my eyes darting from left to right as I tried to focus on something else.

Panic was swelling up in my chest and the strokes of his tattoos seemed to swim in front of my eyes. An itch was starting up on my left arm, and I was trying my hardest not to scratch it.

Look at the floor. Look at the locker. Look at other people.

Don’t look at his tattoos. Don’t look at his tattoos.

Maybe if I kept chanting the mantra over and over again, my mind would create an illusion that Eddie’s skin was bare; that no tattoos covered his arms.

I tried to push the feeling away, but it was pounding in my chest, rising to the surface—I felt disgust. Eddie’s tattoos disgusted me.

“Estella? Are you alright?” Eddie’s voice shook me from the panic that was attempting to swallow me whole.

Tearing my eyes away from his arms, I glanced up to find Eddie watching me with concern. This was Eddie. This wasn’t a nightmare. Eddie was a nice guy. Eddie wasn’t a monster. Eddie wasn’t going to hurt me.

Forcing a smile onto my face, I nodded. “Sorry, I completely zoned out. What were you saying?”

Eddie leaned closer, a frown playing around his mouth. “I’m really worried about Hadie. I mean, I know she’s seeing a grief counselor and trying to work through everything, but she seems so...” He paused, searching for the right word. “…different.”

“Different how?”

“She’s withdrawing. She doesn’t talk when I’m with her. And ever since she came back to school, she’s been holed up in the library. I don’t know what to do or say to get her to react.”

As Eddie spoke, I tried my best to concentrate on his face and not let my eyes wander to his inked arms. His concern for my best friend was pretty sweet. I knew Hadie was in despair, but I honestly wondered if she realized how much Eddie cared about her.

The way he’d taken care of her was definitely a lot more than “caring”. I wouldn’t exactly call it a crush, either. Whatever it was, it was really sweet of him to do so much for her. When Hadie had missed a week of school, Eddie had collected all her homework for her and taken it over to her house.

I knew Hadie wasn’t even close to opening herself to Eddie in that way, but I hoped that one day she would really see him. I hoped she would see that everything he was doing for her was for their friendship and a little more. He was not a boy she should take for granted.

Feeling more like myself, I gave Eddie a sad smile. “Of course she’s different. She lost the love of her life.” Eddie’s face fell at my words and I felt a sting of guilt. My tone was gentler as I continued. “I’ve been her friend since second grade and I know she has a strange way of dealing with things. She’s not one of those people who can push her feelings away and act like everything’s okay. She’s a very emotional person, so just let her get those emotions out in whatever way she wants.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I just wish I could make everything better for her.” Eddie had a look of defeat on his face, and feeling horrible, I reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Believe me, just having you in her life is making things better for her. Give it time, Eddie. Give her time to heal. She’ll get through this; just keep doing exactly what you’re doing.”

My hand fell from Eddie’s shoulder, and we were both silent, lost in our own thoughts. Finally, Eddie hitched his backpack strap higher up on his shoulder and gave me a tight smile. “Thanks for the talk, Estella. Let me know if you can find out anything from Hadie.”

“Of course I will.”

Eddie gave me a small nod before passing me by, and I slumped against my locker, trying to process everything he’d just said.

There was so much going on in my life at the moment that I kind of felt bad for relegating Hadie to the backseat. There was really only so much I could do for her, though. She preferred to be alone, and I could understand her need to be solitary. Still, it wasn’t right for her to completely withdraw. I would have to do something about that.

Hurrying outside, I made my way to the bus stand that was just across the street. The bus that came there went all the way through town before heading to Penthill. It was a long trip, but at least it was convenient.

As I was about to cross the street, I caught sight of something that made me falter.

Vincent was here.

He had parked his bike—illegally, of course—across the street at the bus stand, and was leaning against it with his arms folded across his chest. And, he looked good. By good, I mean good.

He had on a pair of faded jeans, a white denim shirt—thankfully, the sleeves were rolled down so my eyes weren’t assaulted by his numerous tattoos—and brown leather boots. He wore a pair of Aviators and looked sexy as hell. I mean, normally he was sexy anyway, but there was something about the way his shirt hugged his upper body that made me feel like I’d skipped a step and almost fallen over.

Gah. Why was I acting like a total idiot? I was supposed to be angry at him. I was angry at him. It didn’t matter how sexy he looked; he had really hurt me the other night. Vincent Madden could take his sexiness and go right back to Penthill for all I cared.

Straightening myself up to my full height, I stalked across the street and was mentally preparing myself to walk around him and his vehicular obstruction when he straightened up and stepped onto the pavement, waiting for me.

Those full lips of his were upturned in a smirk, and I tried my hardest to keep my mind focused. I would not let myself be distracted by the sexiest lips I had ever seen. No, I would ignore him a-and um-

“Stelle.”

That single word made me stop just as my foot hit the pavement. Why did he have to use my name against me? He had such an unfair advantage over me. One day, I’d have to find something to use against him, too.

“What?” I snapped, hoping my expression was as biting as my tone.

Vincent took a step towards me, the smirk still lingering on his face. His eyes drifted over my body before settling on my face. “Let me give you a ride to Penthill.”

My eyes narrowed at his words. “How the heck do you know where I’m going? Are you having one of your gang buddies secretly tail me and monitor my movements?”

His lips twitched in the slightest. “I know the heck because exactly three weeks ago I met you for the first time on a Monday night leaving the Penthill community center.”

“Oh.” My face heated up, and I stared at a crack in the pavement as embarrassment washed over me. I felt like a total idiot. Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?

“Yeah, oh.” His tone was smug and it made me want to pummel him with my backpack. “C’mon, let me give you a ride. It’ll be a helluva lot faster than the bus.”

When I looked up, I found him scrutinizing me, his head tilted to the side. He cleared his throat and quickly glanced away, looking uncomfortable.

Sighing, I weaved my fingers through my hair, trying to find the best way to deal with Vincent. I didn’t really understand why he was offering me a ride to Penthill after our blow out on Friday night. Had he ridden all the over here just to take me to Penthill? That just seemed weird that he would go out of his way like that.

“Can I be frank, Vincent?” I fixed him with the firm look I often used when I was giving Savannah or Nathan a lecture. “I’m not sure what you’re doing here. I’m not entirely sure what your motives are, but I’ve already decided that I won’t be tutoring Dylan anymore. I’m not sure what you expect from me beyond that.”

Vincent ran a hand through his hair, his face pinching up. He let out a breath, exhaustion settling into his face. “Look, I just wanted to talk, okay? Let me give you a ride and we can talk later. I swear, I’m not gonna knock you off or anything.”

A smile crept onto my face, and I nodded. “Fine. You can give me a ride.”

Relief replaced the exhaustion on Vincent’s face, and he offered me the spare helmet. As I climbed onto the bike behind him, he reached behind him and grasped my arms, wrapping them around his waist.

When he started the engine, my heart gave a jolt, and I wasn’t sure if it came from the thrill of being on the bike or from being this close to Vincent again even after I’d decided that I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.

As Vincent sped off down the road, the mixed feelings I had towards him started seeping into my thoughts. Primarily, was I attracted to Vincent? I didn’t really pay attention to guys much, even though a few had asked me out before. Of course, I’d turned them down and I think eventually, other guys had taken the hint and moved onto girls who showed more interest in them.

That didn’t bother me though. I preferred to focus on my school work and taking care of my family. I mean, sure, it would be nice to have someone there for you in more-than-a-friends way, but the whole dating thing wasn’t appealing to me.

The last time I’d had a crush on a guy was when I was fifteen. It’d been at the end of freshman year, and Carter Hammond and I had been flirting for a while. I’d been pretty sure he would ask me out before summer break, and then we’d spend all summer getting close.

But all that had quickly been forgotten, because a couple of months before summer break, my dad lost his job, gambled away our savings, and my mom upped and left us without a word.

After that, my life fell apart around me, and I was powerless to do anything about it. The only thing I could do was try and hold my family together as best as I could. Savannah was about to start high school and Nathan had already started applying for colleges.