Nicole Edwards - Zane

“I miss him, too.” Maybe she’d get props for admitting she had a problem. Maybe not.

Either way, V couldn’t deny it. Not with Beau. They’d become good friends in the last few months, and she couldn’t lie to him. She was pretty sure he’d see right through her if she tried.

“It’s not too late, you know.” Beau held her close, but not too close. His voice soothed her, and she hoped they wouldn’t turn so that she could see Zane. If he decided to hit on that stripper again, she was pretty sure she was going to break down in tears.

She didn’t respond to Beau’s comment, not quite sure if she was supposed to say anything. Watching Zane with another woman was painful, thinking about not seeing him every day was even more so. However, she couldn’t help but wonder whether she was the right woman for him.

According to him, at least, by the way he made her feel, she was the right woman. V felt different when they were together, and not just when they were in bed. In so many ways.

She didn’t worry about what was to come, didn’t worry about why she was the way she was, and she didn’t worry about who Zane expected her to be. He wanted her for her, and that’s all anyone ever could ask for.

On the other hand, Zane had nearly lost his life because of her. There were plenty of Jake Sanders in the world, and since she’d always been the butt of the jokes, or the topic of gossip, she knew Zane was going to risk his life any time he decided that someone was in the wrong for what they said or did. V wasn’t sure she could handle that.

She couldn’t handle losing Zane. Not forever anyway. She’d much rather walk away from him now and know that he was strong and healthy and would make some woman extremely happy someday. If she didn’t, what might happen? That was the question that constantly plagued her.

If only her brain and her heart could somehow get on the same page. They weren’t working together, and V was so confused because of it. Seeing him tonight, she’d been beside herself with wanting to talk to him. Only he evidently didn’t want to talk to her. At least not until she told him what he wanted to hear. Unfortunately, V wasn’t sure she could. The more time that passed, the more she wanted to, but she also knew that she was pushing him away with each passing minute.

“Talk to him,” Beau whispered in her ear and V looked up into his beautiful brown eyes. “Now.”

V pulled back, but she was instantly distracted by the tall, handsome cowboy that took a step closer, successfully inserting himself between her and Beau.

“May I?”

Zane’s voice was like creamy, rich chocolate and V craved more of it. Without hesitation, she allowed Zane to pull her into his arms. She settled within his embrace, her face resting against his shoulder, the overwhelming scent of him causing tears to prickle behind her eyelids.

“Are you having a good time?” Zane asked the question, and V tried to discern the underlying intent. She first thought he was trying to be sarcastic, but she didn’t hear any heat in his words.

“No,” she said sincerely, not turning her head to look at him.

“Me either.” His breath was warm against her face, and she wanted to look up at him, to taste his lips, but she didn’t. Knowing that this was as hard for him as it was for her didn’t make her feel any better.

“Zane,” she began but quickly shut her mouth again. What was she going to say? Everything that was in her heart would likely have him angry with her because, aside from the fact that she loved him, she still didn’t know whether they could actually be together.

She felt broken. He was finally whole once again. How would that work? She couldn’t even go to her own house without having a mental breakdown. And even Greyson told her that she needed psychological help.

While she’d been at her mother’s house, V looked up post-traumatic stress disorder, and she definitely recognized some of the symptoms. It just didn’t seem like the right diagnosis though. She wasn’t the one who’d been through the devastating experience. She was just a bystander to the horror. If Zane wasn’t screwed up because of it, why would she be?

The slow song ended, and a fast one took its place. Thankfully, Zane took her hand and led her away from the chaos that erupted on the dance floor. She expected them to return to the table, but to her surprise, Zane led her toward the back of the club. She noticed a dark hallway and realized that was where Zane was headed.

God, she only hoped she didn’t do something stupid.

♂♀

No matter what Zane told himself, he hadn’t been able to stay away from V. Watching her as she danced with Beau had been too much. Although he knew his best friend wasn’t hitting on her, he still couldn’t help but think that he should’ve been the one holding V in his arms.

It didn’t take him long to piss Tessa the Stripper off, and when she finally realized he wasn’t buying what she was selling, she moved on. Hell, she had an entire table of guys willing to give her at least a few minutes of attention, although he’d be surprised if any of them actually intended to pursue her past the little strip tease she was offering. Zane didn’t have any interest whatsoever. When he’d looked over to see V staring back at him, Zane recognized the jealousy on her face. Not that he was happy about it, but it told him everything he needed to know.

So walking away from him hadn’t been easy for her.

That made two of them.

Standing in the darkened hallway, having to dodge people as they moved in and out of the bathrooms at the end of the hall, Zane wished he could sneak out with V in tow. He wanted to talk to her and he didn’t, all at the same time.

“I missed you.”

V’s sudden admission wrecked him in ways he hadn’t expected. Quite frankly, Zane figured V was going to blow him off in a big way. To hear her admit that she missed him was something his heart hadn’t been prepared for it.

Lifting her chin, Zane made her look at him. He stared down at her for a long time, trying desperately to read her intentions. He didn’t want to hear what she had to say if she was going to try and brush him off again. Selfish or not, Zane wanted to move forward with her in more ways than one. Not the other way around.

They needed to focus on healing each other, not continuing to try and increase the distance between them.

“Want to get out of here?” He hoped she would say yes, although he knew the party wasn’t over. Considering their moods, they probably weren’t livening up the party much anyway.

“I can’t leave Zoey,” she stated.

Zane merely nodded, then took a step back from her. He knew this wasn’t going to go the way he wanted it to and honestly, he was tired of being the one to pursue her. He wanted to be with her. Hell, he’d even considered asking her to marry him, but from the look she was giving him, he was receiving the brush off.

When he went to walk away, V grabbed his arm, and he stopped. He didn’t turn to look at her. He couldn’t. To hear her tell him it was over would be too much.

“Can we go back to your room when the party is over?” she asked, her hand still on his arm. “To, you know, talk?”

Zane did turn that time. “You want to talk?”

“Yes. There are some things we need to talk about. But, if you’d rather we wait until we get home, I understand that too.”

Zane knew they’d be on a plane back to Austin first thing in the morning, but he wasn’t sure he could wait that long to talk to her. He needed to though. It wasn’t like he could displace Beau for the night anyway. Not that he couldn’t share a room with someone else, but Zane didn’t want to.

“When we get home.” Zane found himself saying. “I’ll come to your house when we get back –” Zane held up his hand to stop her when she tried to interrupt. “This isn’t up to you right now, V. When we get home tomorrow morning, I’m coming over. We’ll talk then. But that’s it. We figure it out then, or we both walk away. Understand?”

He was tired of playing games. As much as he hated to think he could very well be ending this relationship as he knew it, Zane wasn’t willing to continue moving in circles. For the longest time, he’d thought they were moving forward, at least inch by inch. These last few days had proven that he was wrong. They weren’t getting any closer to solving these issues between them. It was time they put the past behind them. Moving forward was his only option from here on out.

♂♀

By the time Zane was on his way to V’s, the day was more than half over. The morning had been hectic, getting to the airport in Vegas, getting on the plane and then finally pulling into his driveway had taken a little over five hours. Truthfully, after the night before, he really just wanted to fall into bed for a couple of hours. After he and V had opted to wait to talk, they’d returned to the party and even though they didn’t talk much, they’d managed to liven things up a little.

In true twin fashion, they’d had three more strippers come join the party and no one could ever call Zoey sweet and innocent anymore. She’d helped the strippers tease both Kaleb and Gage, which if no one had known that the three of them were doing the deed together, they sure did now. When Zoey kissed one of the strippers, Zane thought the bar was going to erupt. His dick had sure enjoyed the sight, but thankfully, he drowned his hormones with alcohol.

At one point, Gage and Travis had been talking, and despite the aggressive way they regarded each other, Zane could sense another kind of tension between them. Strange. Very, very strange. He tried to blame it on the vodka, but now he wasn’t so sure. Maybe he was just seeing things. After what happened between him and Beau, it was quite possible his mind was playing tricks on him. Just because he had experimented, didn’t mean everyone was.

Then again, Zane hadn’t imagined what happened between Ethan and Blake. He’d been innocently on his way to the bathroom to take a leak and lo and behold, right there in the hallway, Blake was pressed up against Ethan, their mouths locked together. Not even a crowbar would’ve pried those two apart. He pretended not to see anything and went about his business.

What the fuck? Shaking off the thoughts of his brothers with men, Zane focused on driving to V’s. Just as a precaution, he’d called Travis and Beau beforehand. Not that he expected anything to happen, but Zane wasn’t interested in getting his ass handed to him again. He wasn’t feeling one hundred percent at the moment as it was. Being precautious wasn’t a bad thing, he reminded himself.

He managed to arrive at V’s without incident, making it through her front door without a second thought. When he saw her, his mind blanked, and he could think of nothing except stripping her down right there in the living room and burying himself deep in her body. So deep, she would never be able to run from him again.

“Hey,” she greeted, slipping behind him and locking the front door. He knew she thought she was being discrete, but it hadn’t worked.

“Hungry?” she asked as she turned back to the kitchen.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, not referring to food. He was hungry all right. He wanted to lift up that dress and feast on what he found underneath. In fact, he fully intended to do so in the next few minutes. If she’d let him.

He followed her to the kitchen and found she’d been passing the time cooking. It smelled delicious. Almost as good as that distinctively spicy fragrance of her skin. His hands itched to touch her, and his mouth watered.

“V.”

The moment she turned to look at him, Zane’s heart pounded hard. A fast, painful thump in his chest. She was so damn beautiful. Her long, chocolate brown hair hanging in waves around her face, flowing over her breasts. The succulent curves that were outlined by that dress. Her feet were bare, which wasn’t usual, and he took a moment, admiring her pretty purple tipped toes. Purple. An unusual color for fingernail polish, but he suddenly loved the color purple.

“Hmmm?”

Her response was but a whisper and he knew she felt it. Whatever it was. She felt it too. He knew she did.

“Tell me what you’re thinking right now,” he told her, not moving from where he stood just a couple of feet away from her.

“What I’m thinking?”

“Yes. Right this minute. What are you thinking?”

“I’m... I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Now tell me.” Zane wasn’t sure what was wrong with him or why he needed to get this out in the open right now, but for some reason this felt urgent. The need to get their feelings hashed out seemed startlingly important. As though they didn’t have enough time.