N. Walters - Craving Candy

She didn’t stop until she was standing right in front of him, her toes touching his. It hit him just how much smaller than him she really was. Her personality was so huge and the high heels that she favored made her seem much larger than she truly was. In truth, she was a tiny bundle of curves. He almost smiled as he pictured how she’d bristle if he said such a thing to her.

The urge to smile left him when she placed her hand on his chest. “I came to talk to you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” It was ridiculous that a woman about eight inches shorter and about eighty pounds lighter could hold him in place with just the touch of one hand. But it was true. Lucas didn’t think he could force himself to move away from her touch if his life depended on it. “It was a great time, but it’s over.” He stared at a spot over her shoulder, refusing to look at her.

“What are you so afraid of, Lucas?” Her soft question struck him like a physical blow. How could she even ask him that after what had happened the last time they were together?

The scowl on his face had been known to make grown men flinch with fear. Lucas slowly lowered his gaze to hers, but instead of being frightened, she looked almost serene. For some reason, that fired his temper all the more. “What am I afraid of?” His voice was mocking. “What am I afraid of?” His voice was louder now. “What the hell do you think I’m afraid of?” The last question was half shouted as he gripped her by the shoulders and shifted her away from him. The temptation to shake some sense into her was almost overwhelming. Didn’t she have any concept of self-preservation?

“Yourself? Me?” She stepped closer to him again. “Both?”

“You have no right to be in my apartment.” Lucas stepped back out of her reach as he searched for her coat. The quicker he got her out of here, the better.

“I know.” She followed him as he turned and walked away from her. “I know I hurt you the other day and I’m sorry for that. It was a knee-jerk reaction because of my own past.” Like a terrier, she nipped at heels. He couldn’t shake her or her words. “My own father spent most of his life in prison, and my brother’s been there as well. I know what that did to my mother and to me. It was the last thing I wanted for myself.”

Lucas halted so suddenly that Candy slammed into his back. He whirled around and caught her before she tripped and fell. No wonder she’d reacted to the news like she had. He didn’t blame her for not wanting a man with such a dark past in her life. But she wasn’t finished.

Grabbing onto the front of his T-shirt, she kept talking. “But it didn’t take me long to realize that you’re not like my father at all. He was always making promises he couldn’t keep and blaming other people for everything that went wrong in his life. But you…” She gripped his shirt even tighter. “You’re a man of integrity. You work hard and if you say you’re going to do something, it’s as good as done. No matter what’s happened in your past, it doesn’t matter. I know you had your reasons.”

The pain almost brought him to his knees. These were the words he’d longed to hear. And maybe if he’d heard them before he’d manhandled her the other night, they would have made a difference. But the other night had been a reminder of the tainted blood flowing through his veins. He had a temper and a history of violence that he’d tried to leave behind him. But it always lurked, just under the surface. He knew what he was capable of doing. And it scared him.

She looked so earnest staring up at him. Her chocolate brown eyes were huge and luminous with unshed tears. Once again, he was hurting her even though it was the very last thing he wanted to do. He cupped her face in his hands. “Thank you for that, Candy. But it’s still over between us.”

“Why?” She covered his hands with her own, trapping them against the softness of her cheeks. “Why is it over?”

He decided that honesty was the only way out. Once he told her the truth, she’d understand why she had to leave. “Because I’ll only hurt you in the long run.”

“I don’t understand.”

He gently pulled his hands away and paused to push a lock of hair back behind her ear. “I know.” He didn’t want to see the look of disgust on her face and the fear that was sure to come, but he knew he no longer had a choice. “My father beat me and my mother.”

No longer able to look at Candy, he turned and walked across the room and stared blindly out the window. “He was angry all the time. Anything and everything set him off.” Lucas tried to block out the memories that threatened. “I’d come home from working at the market and had fallen into bed. I’d been saving my money and was planning to move out in less than a month. It was the screams that woke me.”

The world outside the window faded as the past replayed in his mind. “I don’t know why that night was different from any other. It just was. My mother was bleeding when I got to the living room and I challenged the old man, told him to leave her alone.” He shook his head at his own stupidity. “I was tall but scrawny back then, and my father was a huge man. But I was so angry. It was as if a red haze enveloped me and I wanted to kill him. Next thing I knew, he was lying on the floor unconscious and my mother was telling me to run before the cops got there. The neighbors always called the cops. But it was too late.”

The glass was cool against his fingers when he laid his hand against it. “I was arrested, sent to trial and found guilty. Didn’t seem to matter what the old man had done.” Lowering his hand, he turned around, surprised to find Candy right behind him. He hadn’t heard her approach.

“What happened to your mother?”

Lucas closed his eyes against the pain, the memory as sharp as it had been all those years ago. “He beat her to death not long after I went to prison.”

“Oh, Lucas.” Her arms wrapped around him, her grip surprisingly strong as she hugged him. “I’m so sorry.” He could hear the tears in her voice as she sniffed and buried her face against his chest.

This was the first time he’d ever shared his sorrow over his mother’s death with anyone else. No one had ever hugged him and told him they were sorry or shed tears for him. T. S. knew what had happened, and so did Katie, but both of them had always respected his right to bear it alone. But not Candy.

His arms slid around her waist, pulling her tight to him. He lowered his head, nuzzling his face against the softness of the curve of her neck, reveling in her caring as she reached up and stroked her hand through his hair. But reality finally intruded and he made himself step away from her once again. “Now you see why it’s over between us.”

Her eyebrows came together as she frowned at him. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you and your mother. But I don’t understand what that has to do with us.”

Lucas’ already frayed temper began to heat up again. “Because I’m like my father, Candy. His blood runs through my veins. I look in the mirror every single day and see his face staring back at me. I’m capable of beating a man almost to death.” Swearing, he stalked away, prowling around the room. “Then there’s the other night.”

“What about the other night?” He could hear the caution in her voice.

“I took you without care or control the other night. I was no better than an animal, lashing out at you in anger. I hurt you, Candy.” He was in agony now, just wanting her to leave so he could lick his wounds in private. He’d never felt so emotionally exposed in his entire life. “I won’t risk your safety.”

“That is the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard.”

He whirled around and she was right behind him. Anger raced through him. How dare she make light of this! He’d just laid himself emotionally bare before her and she was mocking him. “It’s not bull.”

She poked her index finger at his chest. “Yes. It. Is.” She spaced each word carefully as if he wouldn’t understand her any other way. “You’re a coward.”

A fury unlike anything he’d ever experience enveloped him. How dare she accuse him of being a coward? “Don’t push me, sugar. You won’t like what happens.”

“Oh, yeah?” She got right in his face, practically boring a hole in his chest with her finger. “What are you going to do?” she demanded. “Hit me?”

It was as if all the blood drained from his body. “God, no. I would never hit you, sugar.” He felt himself sway on his feet.

“Exactly.” She wrapped her hands around his neck and forced his head downward until he was staring right at her, their noses practically touching. “You would never hurt me physically.”

“But the other night—”

She interrupted him. “Was the most erotic experience of my life.”

He could see the sincerity in her eyes. But most of all, he could see the love. A weight seemed to fall away from him as the significance of what had just happened finally seemed to seep into him. Yes, he had come from violence and was capable of violence, but never against her or anyone he truly loved.

“Lucas, your past has made you the man you are. You’re so controlled and self-contained it’s almost scary. Yes, we’ll probably fight and yell at each other.” She laughed. “We’re both such strong-willed people, I don’t think we can avoid that. But.” She stroked her hand over his face and smiled at him. “You’ll never hit me. You’re not capable of harming a woman.”

Her belief in him humbled him. And her hand on his face and the closeness of her body was arousing him unbearably. His earlier anger had transmuted itself into lust. He wanted Candy. No, he needed her. He needed to claim her as his, once and for all.

“Be sure, sugar. Because once I take you, there’s no going back.” His cock was rockhard beneath his jeans and the urge to fuck her was all-consuming.

In answer, she whipped her blouse over her head and dropped it to the floor. “I certainly hope not.” Her smile was wicked and filled with erotic promise as she turned and sauntered toward the bedroom, her lush hips swaying gently from side to side.

The pure, unadulterated happiness that filled him was only superseded by the lust for this woman that pounded through his body. She was his and once he claimed her, he would never let her go.

Swooping down on her, he caught her up in his arms and tossed her over his shoulder. She laughed and reached down and squeezed his butt in response. He swatted her bottom playfully as she did it again. And her shrieks of delight mixed with his own low laughter as he carried her into the bedroom and kicked the door shut behind him.

One minute Candy was hanging over Lucas’ shoulder and the next she was flying through the air. She bounced once on the mattress before sinking back against its softness.

He followed her down onto the bed, his expression intense as he framed her face in his hands. “Although there’s been nothing in the papers about what happened at the talk show taping, there’s still a chance it will get out. If not now, then someday. My past will always be there, sugar. I’m a rough man with a violent past. That will never change.”

She stared up into the face of the man she loved and knew deep in her heart that his past no longer mattered to her. “What you are is a good man, Lucas. The best I’ve ever known.” She covered his hands with her own. “I’m sorry for your past because it hurt you, and I’m sorry for the death of your mother. But I’m glad that I found you.”

He closed his eyes and nodded. When he reopened them, they were blazing with undisguised lust. But beyond that, she could see the deep, abiding love, and it filled her with hope for the future. This was a man a woman could depend on, now and forever. And he was all hers!

One question nagged at her. She hated to ask, afraid of ruining the mood, but she had to know. “What happened to your father?”

Lucas sat back on his heels, reached his hands behind his back, grabbed a handful of fabric and yanked his T-shirt off over his head. He flung it aside as he leaned over and found the opening of her skirt. “He died in prison.” Making quick work of the zipper, he tugged her skirt down her legs, tossing it behind him.

She knew that Lucas didn’t want to talk about it any longer and that was fine with her. She knew what she needed to know. While she still had many questions to ask him, they could wait. Right now, she needed him to make love to her. Needed to join her body to his and give him the comfort and release from his torment that sex could provide.

Smiling at him, she stroked her hands up her belly and cupped her lace-covered breasts. She was wearing a new strawberry-colored lacy bra and matching panties. “Do you like my new lingerie?” She batted her eyelashes, flirting shamelessly with him.