I mean I was talking to Soph about it at orchestra and she said I should’ve left it but—

ADAM. You had to do something about it.

RUTH. No. Thank you.

ADAM. He wouldn’t have done it if you’d been a man…

RUTH. Well…

They move across the road. She puts one of her bags into her other hand.

(Referring to his bag.) If you put that in that one, we can hold hands.

A beat. He does so.

Blackout.


RUTH and ADAM’s living room. He’s sat on the sofa, texting. She’s offstage.

ADAM. Yeah. Definitely.

RUTH (offstage). Because if we put the speakers on the walls with the wall brackets, we can get some plants or something by the telly. Or another option I thought of – well Candice – Have I told you about Candice? She’s the nice new lady that cleans our ward. She was talking about it’s what her brother’s got and I thought it sounded like something we could do – and it’s just a thought so just say if you don’t like it – what I thought is if we could put the telly on the wall with the wall brackets and then that opens up all that space for us to do something else with it. Get a new set of bookshelves. Put some of my books up.

ADAM. Yeah.

RUTH (offstage). What d’you think?

ADAM. Yeah. Definitely.

A beat.

(Looking up from his text.) Could we put the salad leaves underneath? So it’s like a bed?

A beat.

Ruth.

RUTH (offstage). I’m doing it.

A beat.

But d’you think that’s a good idea? The wall brackets. I mean, it’s not like I’m trying to hog all the space for my books. But a bookshelf’s for life. It’s a good investment. The bookshelves in my parents’ house they got as a wedding present. And they still use them.

ADAM. No. I know. It’s a great idea.

She pokes her head in. He stops texting and looks up as if he wasn’t texting.

RUTH. Seriously. I’m not. I know we don’t need them so if you don’t like it it’s fine.

ADAM. No. It’s fine.

RUTH. I’ll pay for them myself.

ADAM. It’s fine.

RUTH. Cool. Who are you texting?

ADAM. I’m on the internet.

RUTH. Cool.

She smiles, lingers for a beat and leaves. He sends the text and puts his phone to the side.

(Offstage.) Because you can put your books there too if you like. It’s just nice having books around isn’t it? They’re nice to look at. And then we’ll have these bookshelves for ever. We can take them with us.

ADAM. Could we cut the ham into strips?

RUTH (offstage). Okay.

ADAM. Thanks.

RUTH comes onstage with scissors.

RUTH. Sorry for going on about the bookshelves.

ADAM. Don’t worry.

RUTH (as if it’s funny). I’m such a loser. No wonder you want to go out tonight!

They both laugh. Hold on this.

Blackout.


Pub. RUTH and ADAM are sat onstage. Her friends and his friends are talking (invisibly and inaudibly). They don’t speak. Music from four years ago plays.

Eventually, ADAM leans over to her. They both speak above the noise around them.

ADAM. What do you do?

RUTH. English.

ADAM. Oh. Cool. (About himself.) Geography.

RUTH. Oh. Nice.

ADAM. Yeah. It is nice. Yeah.

A beat.

I’m Adam, by the way.

RUTH. Ruth.

ADAM. Ruth. How d’you know Chloe?

RUTH. We lived on the same corridor.

ADAM nods, interested.

How about you?

ADAM. Amnesty. Yeah. Amnesty. She’s great. She’s really turned the group around.

RUTH. Well that’s Chloe!

They laugh. Silence. They look at other conversations. She tries to think of something to say.

So Geography…

ADAM. Yes.

RUTH. Is that the political side? Or the geographical? Or—

ADAM. Well we touch on them all but I’m actually more focused on the environmental.

RUTH. Oh. Wow. And what’s that like?

ADAM. It’s actually quite frightening.

RUTH. I bet it is. Yeah.

ADAM. Some of the things they reckon’s going to happen.

RUTH. Tut. I bet…

A beat.

ADAM. It’s nice here isn’t it?

RUTH. Yeah. It’s a really cool place.

Blackout.


RUTH and ADAM’s living room. They’re eating their lunch on the sofa.

ADAM. This is lovely. Thank you.

RUTH. No. Thank you. It was your idea.

They eat.

So what is it you’re doing tonight?

He puts a load of food in his mouth. He waits to chew it all, indicating his mouth is the reason he isn’t answering. She smiles at it. Eventually he swallows and answers.

ADAM. What’s that?

RUTH. What are you guys up to tonight?

ADAM. Oh. Just the normal, probably.

He puts more food in his mouth.

RUTH. That’ll be nice.

ADAM (with his mouth full). Yeah.

They eat. Silence.

RUTH. We should’ve got some peppers or something. Spice it all up a bit.

ADAM. It’s fine.

They eat. Silence.

RUTH. So is it just down The Prince?

He gets up. During the following, he goes over and puts a CD on.

ADAM. It’s Robert’s birthday isn’t it? You know what he’s like.

RUTH. He’s such a twat.

ADAM. Yeah. I know. But he’s a mate.

RUTH. Well he’s never very nice to you.

ADAM. Yes he is. And he had a big one last year didn’t he. Which I think that’s why he wanted to do a big one again this year. I think it’s hitting twenty-six.

RUTH. Really?

ADAM. Yeah.

RUTH. That’s weird.

ADAM. No it’s not.

Music from four years ago starts and plays beneath the following. He returns to his seat and eats. She eats.

He’s got a new job. Did I tell you?

RUTH. Yeah. It’s great.

ADAM. Yeah.

They eat. Music.

RUTH. Are you gonna have to go clubbing again?

ADAM. One minute.

He leaves the stage. A beat. She doesn’t eat. He returns with the bottle of salad cream.

What was that?

RUTH. Are they gonna make you go clubbing?

ADAM. Erm. Maybe. I dunno. You know what he’s like.

RUTH. God…

ADAM. I know… I know… Maybe I’ll just come home early…

He squirts salad cream over his food. She squirts it into a puddle at the side of her plate.

But then, I guess, it is his birthday…

RUTH. You could get him to go somewhere else.

ADAM. Yeah. But it’s his birthday though isn’t it? You know what he’s like.

RUTH. How d’you mean?

ADAM. He’s just annoying isn’t he.

RUTH. Yeah. I bet you wish you could just stay in and watch Mad Men.

ADAM. Yeah…

They eat.

But if it’s his birthday, I kind of have to go don’t I? It’s like – on my birthday – what if he’d made us go clubbing. It’s like him phoning us and insisting we went clubbing. After you’d booked the lane and everything. It’s the same.

RUTH. Maybe.

ADAM. I don’t want to go but if he wants me to go I can’t really back out of it now. It’s kind of rude.

RUTH. I don’t know…

A beat.

ADAM (at her plate). Are you gonna finish that?

RUTH. Yeah.

Blackout.


RUTH and ADAM’s bedroom. ADAM stands in just a towel, wet. He holds a hanger with a pair of blue jeans (the ones we’ve seen him wearing throughout Act One) hung on it, fresh from a shop, the tags still on.

ADAM. Is it okay to wear these?

He waits. He waits. He waits. RUTH comes in, drying her hands on a tea towel.

That smells nice.

RUTH. Thanks.

ADAM. What d’you think about these?

RUTH (hides her surprise). When did you get them?

ADAM. Erm. Dunno. Thursday? What d’you think?

RUTH. They’re nice. Yeah. Very nice.

ADAM. Yeah?

RUTH. Yeah.

ADAM. There was a mannequin had them on.

RUTH. What you wearing them with?

ADAM. I bought this.

He takes out the shirt he was wearing in Act One. She hides her surprise.

RUTH. That’s really cool. I’ll just turn the oven down.

RUTH leaves. ADAM stands there in silence. He dries himself as he waits.

(Calling from offstage.) Maybe…

Silence.

ADAM. What?

RUTH (offstage). Maybe if you—

Silence.

ADAM. Maybe if I what?

RUTH (offstage). One minute.

A brief silence then she comes on.

What about one of your T-shirts? You look nice in them.

ADAM. I’m not gonna wear a T-shirt in a club.

RUTH. So you are going clubbing?

ADAM. I dunno.

RUTH. It’s not like you’re trying to impress anyone.

ADAM. No of course not.

RUTH (trying to be funny). Who are you gonna impress with your dancing?!

ADAM. Why are you being like this?

RUTH. Why am I being like what?

ADAM. Like this.

RUTH. It was a joke.

ADAM. It wasn’t funny.

RUTH. Okay.

A beat. They both look at the shirt and jeans.

ADAM. How’s the pie?

RUTH. Yeah. It’s nice.

Blackout.


A restaurant. ADAM and RUTH look through menus on the sofa.

ADAM. Have you seen some of the adjectives they use? Have a look at the starters.

RUTH smiles and looks back through the menu.

Number five.

She turns a page back and finds it and laughs.

RUTH. ‘Infused’!

ADAM laughs.

ADAM. Amazing isn’t it?

RUTH. And look at number eight. ‘Marinated’!

ADAM. I always think that in restaurants. They have the oddest things. There was this Chinese – or it was more of a Cantonese I suppose – it was near where I did some work experience last summer – I was at the Centre for Climate-Change Research—

RUTH. Oh!

ADAM. Yeah. And they had this menu with—

He’s interrupted by a waiter.

Erm. Yes. I think so. Are you ready?

RUTH. Yes.

ADAM. Okay. To start, can we get the garlic bread to share – the one with mozzarella on it – thanks – and… olives? D’you like olives?

RUTH. Yeah!

ADAM. And some olives please. Again, to share. (To RUTH.) For mains?

RUTH. Thank you. (Studying the menu unnecessarily.) Can I have the Calabrese please?

ADAM. That doesn’t have capers in it does it? Good. And I’ll have the Sloppy Giuseppe.

They share a tiny smile.

And a glass of the Merlot – Large. Is Merlot okay?

RUTH. Yes. Lovely.

ADAM. And a bottle of Peroni. And can we get some chilli oil with the pizzas? Thanks. Yes that’s all. (To RUTH.) I think?

RUTH (with a chuckle). That’s enough for me.

ADAM (to the waiter). How long will our table be? Okay. Thank you.

The waiter goes away.

I booked well in advance.

RUTH. I really don’t mind.

She tries to lighten the mood.

‘Sloppy Giuseppe’…!

They both laugh a little.

How do they come up with these things?

They both laugh a bit more.

ADAM. There’s probably a chef in Italy called Giuseppe who’s really messy and he just made such a mess of a pizza and it tasted amazing and they named it after him!

RUTH. Yes!

They both laugh. They drink. The laugh settles. A beat.

I’m glad you like olives.

ADAM (a noise of agreement). Mm!

RUTH. I love olives.

ADAM. Mmm. Me too. I had these really lovely black olives once – my uncle works in the catering industry—

RUTH. Oo. You lucky bastard.

ADAM’s slightly taken aback by this and tries not to be. He laughs, finding her genuinely fresh and surprising. She laughs too.