Stefan Golaszewski - Sex with a Stranger

A beat.

I’d better go.

RUTH. They’re not gonna go to any strip clubs are they?

ADAM laughs. Seeing this, RUTH laughs too.

ADAM. What?! Where did that come from?! No! You know us! As if we’d go to some seedy little strip club!

RUTH. Sorry – I had to ask or I’d be sitting here going mad thinking of you looking at women like that and you all laughing.

ADAM. Of course I won’t be looking at women like that! Of course we won’t go to a strip club.

RUTH. Okay. Sorry. I just thought there must be a reason Katie’s not going and—

ADAM. Ruth.

RUTH (as if it’s funny). – I had this image of like these wild women and you boys all going mad about them.

ADAM (laughs). I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?

RUTH. Yeah. Cool. Sorry. (As if it’s a shared joke.) Make sure you text me and let me know how the dreaded clubbing goes!

ADAM. Definitely! But we won’t go clubbing. I’m sure.

RUTH. Really?

ADAM. I dunno. But yeah. I’ll text you. Of course. Let you know how awful it is!

RUTH. Yeah! And make sure you text me any Robert and Katie news…!

ADAM. Definitely! Yes!

RUTH. They’re such a funny couple!

ADAM. Yes!

A beat.

Right. I’d better be off.

He moves off.

RUTH. Cool.

A beat.

I think I’ll have a tidy. Clean the bathroom. Your study could do with a clear-out.

ADAM (turning back, like a bullet). I wouldn’t bother.

RUTH. When did you last clean it?

ADAM. Seriously. Everything’s in an order, I know where everything is. I like it like that.

RUTH. I’ll just give it a once-over. Sort out your folders.

ADAM. Honestly. Leave it. Relax. Have some time to yourself. Don’t worry about it. Read your book.

RUTH. I don’t mind.

ADAM. Seriously. Read your book. I don’t want you sorting out my folders on a Saturday night!

They laugh.

Seriously. Have some downtime. Read your book. Get in the right frame of mind for tomorrow.

RUTH. Okay.

ADAM. Good. Well I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll see you afterwards, okay? Good luck.

RUTH. Thanks.

ADAM. I’ll be in the foyer.

RUTH. I might be a bit longer than normal because they’ll want to go through how it went and the solo and everything.

ADAM. Cool. No worries. I’ll wait.

RUTH. Cool. Thanks.

ADAM. And no tidying!

RUTH. No. Okay. Thanks.

ADAM. Bye then.

RUTH. Bye.

She goes in for a kiss. They kiss, a peck on the lips. He leaves.

RUTH stands onstage alone, dead still.

She leaves the stage. Pause on the empty stage. She returns with her book and a piece of her steaming-hot apple pie. She sits on the sofa and removes her shoes. She gets her phone out and puts it beside her, in her line of vision.

She reads her book. She eats her pie, blowing on it because it’s hot. She reads her book. Hold on this for a long time. She then looks up for a moment with a thought. She then returns to her book. Hold on this.

Blackout.

The End.

STEFAN GOLASZEWSKI

Stefan Golaszewski co-wrote and performed in Cowards on Radio 4 (2007, 2008) and BBC4 (2009). He produced and performed his first two plays at the Pleasance Courtyard (2008) and the Traverse Theatre (2009) in Edinburgh, and then together as The Stefan Golaszewski Plays at the Bush Theatre in London (2009–10). His play Sex with a Stranger was first performed at the Trafalgar Studios in 2012. He was the writer, creator and executive producer of BBC3’s Him & Her (2010–13), winning the BAFTA for Best Situation Comedy in 2014.

NICK HERN BOOKS London www.nickhernbooks.co.uk

A Nick Hern Book

Sex with a Stranger first published in 2012 by Nick Hern Books Limited, The Glasshouse, 49a Goldhawk Road, London W12 8QP

Reprinted with a new cover and revisions to the text in 2014

This ebook edition first published in 2014

Sex with a Stranger copyright © Stefan Golaszewski, 2012, 2014

Stefan Golaszewski has asserted his right to be identified as the author of this work

Cover photo: Jaime Winstone and Russell Tovey in the original production of Sex with a Stranger (2012), photograph by Pete Le May

Designed and typeset by Nick Hern Books, London

ISBN 978 1 78001 218 6 (ebook edition)

ISBN 978 1 84842 255 1 (print edition)

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